Are you more "relaxed" in chastity?

Living the real life under lock and key
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danj
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Are you more "relaxed" in chastity?

Post by danj »

I was perusing Reddit today and saw a post in the r/chastity subreddit where the poster said he "always feels more relaxed when I'm in my cage...". I immediately nodded in agreement. Since we changed things back in May with my wife in full control and much more frequent use of a device, I've come to feel that sense of comfort in the device. Once I'm out maybe half a day or more after an orgasm, I get edgy. The availability of the penis makes me feel off, and the ability to stroke it becomes increasingly distracting. When I do go back in, I feel a sense of relief and happiness that "her penis" is back where it belongs. Even with the occasional pinch or discomfort, It's a very comforting thing going back in the cage. :)
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-Dan

and yes, that IS my beautiful hotwife wearing the key to my cb-6000s!

Currently Own: CB-6000s, Steelworxx Steelheart (2), modified Steelworxx Looker 3, and DH Gate A271 (2)
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Re: Are you more "relaxed" in chastity?

Post by Excited+Scared1 »

Yes Danj - I’d not really thought about it before, but I feel ‘safe’ when I’m under lock and key. Not safe from harm, but safe from temptation and not the risk (very real) of not respecting T’s wishes to control my orgasms.
I do feel content, owned and loved and willing to wait until T decides to unlock me again. It’s never been more than a week so far, but some crazy thing inside my head really craves for it to be longer.
Why?? It seems crazy, but my libido, brain and penis seem to all want the same thing!!!
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Re: Are you more "relaxed" in chastity?

Post by sirmebane »

So much of chastity is realizing that you want and need the chase, but regret the 'win.' I cannot deny my KH when she wants me to cum, because that is what she wants and also because my primitive brain is designed to seek orgasm and all that accompanies it.

If you can convince your KH to be less lenient (difficult when they love you and want you to be happy) and stay caged, the transformation that happens is life changing. Yes, it is fantasy and no it isn't life or death but I think we all realize we're happier denied and chasing than we are getting what we want to be satisfied.

An orgasm is a moment where being chaste can lead to weeks, months or (gulp) years of deep sexual connection.
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: Are you more "relaxed" in chastity?

Post by KittensBoyToy »

sirmebane wrote: Tue Oct 29, 2019 10:03 am So much of chastity is realizing that you want and need the chase, but regret the 'win.' I cannot deny my KH when she wants me to cum, because that is what she wants and also because my primitive brain is designed to seek orgasm and all that accompanies it.

If you can convince your KH to be less lenient (difficult when they love you and want you to be happy) and stay caged, the transformation that happens is life changing. Yes, it is fantasy and no it isn't life or death but I think we all realize we're happier denied and chasing than we are getting what we want to be satisfied.

An orgasm is a moment where being chaste can lead to weeks, months or (gulp) years of deep sexual connection.
This has not proved to be a problem for me! :oops: :cry:
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Skip
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Re: Are you more "relaxed" in chastity?

Post by Skip »

Not necessarily, actually. Maybe it's because I'm self-locked, with only partial involvement by my lady (who is more of a friend with benefits in "vanilla" terms) and because I haven't reached a certain treshold - I'm now 17 days locked (in a row, also the longest time so far, but was locked in before, even abroad without any keys with me), hold my own keys regularly and could easily unlock at any time - but have been ordered not to.

I get teased, get a lot of attention, and get to pleasure the lady with no satisfaction for me other than the one I derive from making her happy.

I think the main difference for me is that I had a twofold motivation for entering into chastity. One is of course the submission, giving up control over something so intimate, etc. The other is that I have a really high sexual drive and I found myself masturbating "without realizing" - a slight "boredom tug" that turns into a masturbation session - quick, non-emotional - just give me any porn, let me ejaculate, and forget about it. I didn't like that. It also turns me rather promiscuous, in that a smile across the room in a bar will end up with a one night love (and usually disappointment, because I get emotionally involved very quickly).

So in a way, I want to be "chaste", or rather, I want my sexual encounters, including masturbation, to be more meaningful. Perhaps because of my previous habits, having the cage on still feels rather unnatural, because I can't tug at "it" absent-mindedly, I can't pick up a floozy at a bar and fall in love with her overnight; I am not only reminded of the cage's presence physically or mentally in a way that you guys (who as I understand it are mostly involved in a long term relationship, marriage etc) experience, but also in a way where it prevents me from doing things that feel natural to me, but I don't want to do them. It's like a mental note of "don't do that", but physical and much more effective.

Not saying that to counter anyone else's feelings, and I don't mean to be negative in the slightest, just saying that I don't necessarily feel safer.. just more.. inhibited, but in a good way?
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Re: Are you more "relaxed" in chastity?

Post by mr_faithful »

Skip wrote: Tue Oct 29, 2019 11:56 am The other is that I have a really high sexual drive and I found myself masturbating "without realizing" - a slight "boredom tug" that turns into a masturbation session - quick, non-emotional - just give me any porn, let me ejaculate, and forget about it. I didn't like that. It also turns me rather promiscuous, in that a smile across the room in a bar will end up with a one night love (and usually disappointment, because I get emotionally involved very quickly).
Great post. I really relate to it, and I have two comments about it.

First, you might not be aware that you are more relaxed. My wife tells me that I am much more relaxed and happy than I was before. I didn't seem to notice it too much, but after she pointed it out, I noticed that I am happier for sure. So it might be that you actually are but someone would have to point it out to you before you would notice. Or you just aren't any different, but that was one of the ways I related to your post. I wasn't sure I felt any different until someone else pointed out how I was.

The other comment, is that in the posts of those (including myself) who feel a sense of "safety", the remarks usually include an expression of responsibility to someone else for our chastity. The feeling of safety is from knowing that you are being obedient, at least that's how it appears to me. Your post is a good contrast for that, because (unless I totally missed it) you are only responsible to yourself at this point.

Like I said, I could be way off but those were my takeaways after reading your post. I really related to the first paragraph I (snip) quoted above.
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Skip
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Re: Are you more "relaxed" in chastity?

Post by Skip »

mr_faithful wrote: Tue Oct 29, 2019 12:19 pm Like I said, I could be way off but those were my takeaways after reading your post. I really related to the first paragraph I (snip) quoted above.
Hey, you make a lot of sense (and by the way, I read your blog here, and it's fascinating - even moreso by the fact that our religious views are so completely different). You're right that maybe the lack of compulsion (to jerk off, to sleep around) makes me more safe because it's something I don't wanna do, so being prevented from doing it physically might make me more safe. Though the feeling is not, let's say, "actual" and like you said I might need to be told. Thanks a lot for that insight!

Your second point is a hundred percent on point. While I am "responsible" to someone, it's not a real responsibility, as not following orders would have very little actual impact, at least much much lesser compared to an actual relationship, or even a marriage. Perhaps I would feel safer in chastity if it prevented me on cheating on someone (be it masturbatory or actual sex with a stranger) rather than "making me better". Right now, it's a "hurdle" - making myself better for the purpose of making myself better - rather than a "helping hand" in making myself better for someone else.

Good points, you're definitely not completely off base, thanks!
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danj
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Re: Are you more "relaxed" in chastity?

Post by danj »

"Safety" is a good word for it, too, @mr_faithful

Without question, I feel a sense of "safety" in chastity with her as my keyholder. I often thank my wife for keeping me locked. She doesn't require me to say this, I just do because that's how I feel. Being locked makes me feel more at peace/relaxed, but also safely under her control, where I most love to be! The treat isn't just being allowed to cum anymore, now it's also the days in chastity. :D
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-Dan

and yes, that IS my beautiful hotwife wearing the key to my cb-6000s!

Currently Own: CB-6000s, Steelworxx Steelheart (2), modified Steelworxx Looker 3, and DH Gate A271 (2)
Currently Wearing: Steelheart
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