Not sure we can make it work...
Posted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 7:07 am
Hi there.
I am new here and I've just registered (say hello) this morning.
I would like to share my thoughts and fears with you. I whish some of you will be able to give some valuable advice and help me grow in this new world.
To start and to give some context, but me and my wife are living together for 10 years.
I am the one who has brought the subject of chastity and orgasm denial.
We have decided together to start a new dynamic in our relationship a month ago. By new dynamic, I mean orgasm denial and chastity (honor system). I'm quite of a masturbator but I really enjoy to desire and focus entirely to my wife . This first month was pretty cool and I think we 've been successful in this new way of doing things. At least successful until 4 to 5 days ago.
We didn' t really have an argument but we had a discussion about chastity.
My wife told me that even if she liked to be desire and pampered, my constant arousal started to oppress her. It was too much. I she needed space and didn't want me to be stuck near her with some puppy eyes. Or look at her like she was some "food". She told me that she wants her husband not just a man that cannot think at other thing that sex. She also told me that it was very annoying to her me whine and claim some attention and tease.
On the other side, I probably have too much expectation, and i really would like she is more involve in teasing me (or edge me, or even ask for some oral for her), but she's not particularly interested. In this first month she has been quite good at teasing but no edging or extended tease. Just some kisses and words. I'd like she ask for more sex for her. I but it doesn't seem to change anything on this part.
I know that she is not into dominating and does not want to dominate me. Which is a bit of a paradox because she act as is often. But she does not want a husband that do everything like a worm and I'm not sure I want to be that man anyway.
But here am I, a bit disappointed because I'm not sure that this new way of living can work for us. I'm always under the impression that she won't be interested in teasing me(edging for example) and that it will be too much work for her.
And I'm afraid because I'm not sure that I could refrain my desire to not bother or oppress her with it. Plus the fact that by taking control of my orgasm she automatically control me (kind of) and and she doesn't want this responsibility for now at least.
I also don't want to be the only player I the relationship. I mean, yeah I give up to her the right to oragsm and I want to give her this control. But, I'm not sure it can work if I she give no attention during consecutive days and if I begin to feel alone in my denial. I need some support and to know that she like it as well. Or what is the point.
I hope some of you will have a similar experience with an happy end a d will give me some advice.
I know that my expectations are probably too high and I should certainly give her some time. But it is kinda hard not to hope and to refrain myself of asking, and claiming someore attention from her.
Sorry for this long topic written with my limited English skills.
And thanks in advance for your answers.
I am new here and I've just registered (say hello) this morning.
I would like to share my thoughts and fears with you. I whish some of you will be able to give some valuable advice and help me grow in this new world.
To start and to give some context, but me and my wife are living together for 10 years.
I am the one who has brought the subject of chastity and orgasm denial.
We have decided together to start a new dynamic in our relationship a month ago. By new dynamic, I mean orgasm denial and chastity (honor system). I'm quite of a masturbator but I really enjoy to desire and focus entirely to my wife . This first month was pretty cool and I think we 've been successful in this new way of doing things. At least successful until 4 to 5 days ago.
We didn' t really have an argument but we had a discussion about chastity.
My wife told me that even if she liked to be desire and pampered, my constant arousal started to oppress her. It was too much. I she needed space and didn't want me to be stuck near her with some puppy eyes. Or look at her like she was some "food". She told me that she wants her husband not just a man that cannot think at other thing that sex. She also told me that it was very annoying to her me whine and claim some attention and tease.
On the other side, I probably have too much expectation, and i really would like she is more involve in teasing me (or edge me, or even ask for some oral for her), but she's not particularly interested. In this first month she has been quite good at teasing but no edging or extended tease. Just some kisses and words. I'd like she ask for more sex for her. I but it doesn't seem to change anything on this part.
I know that she is not into dominating and does not want to dominate me. Which is a bit of a paradox because she act as is often. But she does not want a husband that do everything like a worm and I'm not sure I want to be that man anyway.
But here am I, a bit disappointed because I'm not sure that this new way of living can work for us. I'm always under the impression that she won't be interested in teasing me(edging for example) and that it will be too much work for her.
And I'm afraid because I'm not sure that I could refrain my desire to not bother or oppress her with it. Plus the fact that by taking control of my orgasm she automatically control me (kind of) and and she doesn't want this responsibility for now at least.
I also don't want to be the only player I the relationship. I mean, yeah I give up to her the right to oragsm and I want to give her this control. But, I'm not sure it can work if I she give no attention during consecutive days and if I begin to feel alone in my denial. I need some support and to know that she like it as well. Or what is the point.
I hope some of you will have a similar experience with an happy end a d will give me some advice.
I know that my expectations are probably too high and I should certainly give her some time. But it is kinda hard not to hope and to refrain myself of asking, and claiming someore attention from her.
Sorry for this long topic written with my limited English skills.
And thanks in advance for your answers.