Learning to handle emasculation and chastity.

Living the real life under lock and key
Post Reply
Finn
Posts: 351
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:22 am
Location: Ontario, Canada

Learning to handle emasculation and chastity.

Post by Finn » Tue Aug 27, 2019 1:42 pm

For the longest time, I was allowed to unlock for family gatherings or get togethers with friends. I didn't want to feel horny in those settings and risk being my cage being noticed.

Eventually we found a gage that actually reduced the package in my pants, and I could wear it 24/7 (although I remove the cage part to pee and wash), and I started to get comfortable wearing it daily.

Eventually, I was less and less aroused by chastity as I got used to it being my new reality. Then I wasn't as self conscious in public, or gatherings.

Eventually we got more serious about chastity, and I wasn't allowed piv sex, or erections. Sex with the wife is a strap on that I wear (We had one try using the original parts in 13 months, then back to the harness) and I'm always locked for that. My wife hates cum, so I'd learned decades ago, to not need an orgasm to enjoy sex.

Kink stuff with the keyholder that I used to be allowed to experience unlocked are now always locked (unless a couple times a year when she wants to torment my parts..She is a sadist.) No more erections around either of them. This step scared the crap out of me. I'm over 50, and have been with one woman for over 30 years, and a close friend of the other for 15 or so. This is long term stuff, and I'd agreed to commit to it!

That was really tough, because I was really self conscious around other guys or friends, that I no longer had conventional sex, or was even allowed the organ to have it with. I felt like they would somehow sense it, or something obvious in my manner might have changed. That took a long time to come to terms with. There was lots of support from my keyholder as we navigated me into becoming what she needed in a kink partner, and servant. We started with her not wanting a kink partner to be masturbating. We ended up with her loving the control of it all, and the changes in me with strict chastity and denial.

Each step is a big leap of faith, and each hurdle seems to have been managed by accepting the rules, and learning to be less crazy horny and kink minded about it all. The right cage for me. The right way to wear it. Accepting emasculation as a new normal. Learning to not feel less of a guy for not having piv sex, or boners, or getting off.

What were/are your big hurdles? How did you get over them?
1 x
Living with my 2 favorite people, in a semi-poly situation. Serving my Mistress Crosby, who holds my keys.

Naljeans
Posts: 104
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2018 4:22 pm
Location: Central Texas
Gender:

Re: Learning to handle emasculation and chastity.

Post by Naljeans » Wed Aug 28, 2019 7:17 am

Interesting post. I suspect you’ve gone farther down the path than most. We were headed in this direction for months - I thought my owner was playfully joking about it at first, and she may have been. Finding a perfect cage helped immensely. No pain, and really no mandate to remove it for cleaning.

Then when I was able to ejaculate from pegging while caged, it became the norm. I adjusted by realizing how much we both enjoyed our situation. I never really thought about what other guys thought about me. It has helped or forced me to explore the more feminine aspects of my personality (kink and non-kink especially) and I’m a much better person for it.

After a few months of being in the no uncaging realm, I sense that she’s going to change things up again. I don’t know, and enjoy not knowing or caring either way.
1 x
MCN Contender
DHGate Nub on rare occasions

User avatar
Tom Allen
Site Admin
Posts: 4042
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: Southern New England, USA
Contact:

Re: Learning to handle emasculation and chastity.

Post by Tom Allen » Wed Aug 28, 2019 7:49 am

I have a different mindset: I do not see chastity as inherently emasculating; rather, I see it (as does Mrs Edge, i should add), as control over masculine energy. I'm certainly not less interested in sex, and even though I'm using a harness and dildo, I look forward to and enjoy our sexy times because I get to give my wife lots of very enjoyable orgasms.

Image

I've learned to sublimate the sexual frustration into fuel, so to speak.
1 x

mr_faithful
Posts: 29
Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2019 11:03 pm
Gender:

Re: Learning to handle emasculation and chastity.

Post by mr_faithful » Thu Aug 29, 2019 12:15 am

Chastity doesn't have to be emasculating. I haven't had an erection or orgasm of any kind for over 100 days, and there is a good chance I won't for several years or maybe even ever. I choose this way and I feel like much more of a man than I did before when I was just chasing skirt like a dumb dog smelling a bitch in heat. I feel in control and I don't care what a woman flashes in front of me now, I just laugh at her. Imagine thinking that you have to chase pussy around to be a real man, lol.

My wife has also noticed that I seem much happier overall this way, and less edgy. I get the urge, but I control it now and tell it when to stick around or go away. Less than a year ago I was a slave to the urge, but I feel like I have real freedom in the sense that I don't do what it says anymore. And part of that is because I can't!

I admit to feeling hesistant when I started, and would have some real anxiety about going into monk mode. I think I see that when I read your post. Those feelings of hesitation and anxiety were very real to me and it turned out to be about mindset. Be more of a man about it and own it as your decision, that's what I told myself.

I think it also has alot to do with who you are doing it for. If you are doing it for your wife, or whoever your thing is, that can be really hard if you don't trust her totally. I don't know if I could do it just for that and last for very long. I had to have faith in something much greater than her to make it work for me.

Hope that helps!

By the way, have you noticed any shrinkage in your penis since you haven't been able to have erections? I've been curious about anyone experiencing that and you sound like you could know something about it, so I had to ask. If you don't feel comfortable answering, that's totally cool, I get it.
1 x

Post Reply