In longer term denial? How has it changed you?

Living the real life under lock and key
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danj
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In longer term denial? How has it changed you?

Post by danj » Wed Jul 31, 2019 10:19 am

While my wife and I have played with chastity (for me) for close to 10 years, I've never been denied for extended periods of time. My longest orgasm denial being 21 days, which is child's play for many of you here.

What I'm curious about is for those of you that have gone months/or are kept chaste for months, rather than just weeks. How has it changed you and how you go about your daily life, sexually speaking? Did you get to the point where you just don't "need" to orgasm, i.e., that your partners orgasm is truly enough to fulfill you? I know that "buzz" is always there, but do you have sex while remaining chaste (locked or unlocked, but without climax) and once your wife/partner has cum your "good". You still have that buzz, but do you feel sated because she came??

Curious what you long termers have to say.
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-Dan

and yes, that IS my beautiful hotwife wearing the key to my cb-6000s!

Currently Own: CB-6000s, Steelworxx Steelheart (2), modified Steelworxx Looker 3, and DH Gate A271
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Schnoff
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Re: In longer term denial? How has it changed you?

Post by Schnoff » Wed Jul 31, 2019 5:09 pm

I have exchanged the pleasure of orgasm for the pleasure of being highly aroused. We don’t use a device. When we have sex, my husband typically brings me close, classic tease and denial.

I’d say if anything has changed it’s my mindset: In the beginning I was convinced I had to have the freedom to stroke or I’d go crazy, with predictable results. Early on I thought I was somehow “due” an orgasm, only because I was so used to giving myself orgasms whenever I wanted. It took a good 4 years to change that to where I know I don’t need an orgasm and relish the feeling of being desperately aroused. I am sure less than 4 years would have done it too, with some of the lessons learned from that time.

Time between orgasms varies wildly, from just over a week to just over 4 months. I’m not sure that fits into your idea of “long time”.
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: In longer term denial? How has it changed you?

Post by KittensBoyToy » Wed Jul 31, 2019 7:22 pm

I have been allowed 6 in the last year including one that was a ruined. Time between ranges from just under a month to over 3 months. PIV is so rare that I really don't even think about it. It happens when Kitten wants it to happen and I have no say in the matter. Generally I am allowed to climax during PIV sex but not always. Orally pleasing her is much more often and I get pleasure from kowing she is happy.
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cuyahoga
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Re: In longer term denial? How has it changed you?

Post by cuyahoga » Fri Aug 02, 2019 4:30 am

I’ve always been the kind of person that prefers the journey over the destination. A long time ago, I realized the orgasm ends the sexual encounter. I know it technically doesn’t have to.

For me, I love being constantly aroused. It takes a couple of months before I really even start to think about wanting an orgasm. Her orgasms aren’t really “satisfying,” so much as they are just fun. I get off on my partners pleasure anyway, so orgasm denial simply elevates that for me.

Once I’m thinking about wanting to orgasm, it becomes even more enjoyable for me. It’s not a mental state of stress or tension. It’s just high arousal, like being engaged in foreplay, every hour of the day. In addition, when actual sexual relations start to take place, I feel like that is elevated to new scale, and my arousal goes to places it can’t get to without long denials.

Imagine arousal as a scale of one to ten. Ten is orgasm. Six through nine are direct sexual stimulation. Three through five is foreplay. It feels to me like I’m constantly walking around at a five, with pops of six and seven lasting a couple of minutes a few times a day, with no outside stimulation. Then sex starts, and through that process, I actually get to eleven, twelve and thirteen without having an orgasm. When eventually permitted to orgasm, it’s almost always a fifteen or more.

The negative, or struggle, is tamping down the pressure I put on my wife to engage in more sexual activities. It’s easier to control that when I’m having orgasms. I’m still learning how to do that, my only technique being self control and will power.

Edit: and it takes me two to four weeks to hit that state of mind. Three months to hit actually wanting to orgasm. I’ve gone three to four months without orgasm. Cage is sporadic.
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TwistedMister
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Re: In longer term denial? How has it changed you?

Post by TwistedMister » Sun Aug 04, 2019 6:23 am

danj wrote:
Wed Jul 31, 2019 10:19 am
What I'm curious about is for those of you that have gone months/or are kept chaste for months, rather than just weeks. How has it changed you and how you go about your daily life, sexually speaking? Did you get to the point where you just don't "need" to orgasm, i.e., that your partners orgasm is truly enough to fulfill you? I know that "buzz" is always there, but do you have sex while remaining chaste (locked or unlocked, but without climax) and once your wife/partner has cum your "good". You still have that buzz, but do you feel sated because she came??
I've gone for as much as 90 days, followed by a 'ruined' orgasm, and after that for various lengths of time between 30 to 90 days punctuated with [mostly] 'ruined' orgasms, for as long as 18 months. (It seems that, after a period of time of not having regular 'full' orgasms, even when allowed a 'full' orgasm it seems to be 'ruined'. I'm not sure if that effect is due to atrophy of the muscles responsible, or if the habit(?) of 'holding back' when being teased and denied results in being unable to relax sufficiently to produce a 'full' orgasm.)

At any rate, while I still feel the 'need' to orgasm, and the desire remains very (frustratingly) strong, when pleasuring her orally while caged, after she is satisfied my (attempted) erection subsides just as though I *did* have an orgasm...though I am very easily aroused again afterward.

I can't say that I feel truly 'sated', but there is something satisfying in feeling that I am [masochistically] 'suffering' for her, pleasuring her while being caged, my erection [uncomfortably, sometimes painfully] restricted and denied the ordinarily expected stimulation and orgasm.
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted

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Tom Allen
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Re: In longer term denial? How has it changed you?

Post by Tom Allen » Sun Aug 04, 2019 6:29 am

Did you get to the point where you just don't "need" to orgasm, i.e., that your partners orgasm is truly enough to fulfill you? I know that "buzz" is always there, but do you have sex while remaining chaste (locked or unlocked, but without climax) and once your wife/partner has cum your "good". You still have that buzz, but do you feel sated because she came??
It's difficult to explain how or why it works, but I'm essentially permanently locked. We have sex pretty frequently, for which I wear a harness and Vixskin dildo. Mrs Edge has discovered the the combination of the dildo and my bumping her ass with the cage really, really does things for her.

I always have a buzz, what I call a low level simmer. During sex, it quickly comes up to a boil, but at some point (usually after I've given her several good orgasms), I can feel the boil back off, and I take pleasure in a job well done. After that, when she wants to stop, I'm good. I remove my "replacement", and we snuggle for a few minutes.
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Tom Allen
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Re: In longer term denial? How has it changed you?

Post by Tom Allen » Sun Aug 04, 2019 6:35 am

@TwistedMister and I seemed to be posting at the same time. He has a good description of how I feel:
At any rate, while I still feel the 'need' to orgasm, and the desire remains very (frustratingly) strong, when pleasuring her orally while caged, after she is satisfied my (attempted) erection subsides just as though I *did* have an orgasm...though I am very easily aroused again afterward
Except that I don't deflate for a while, but otherwise, it does feel as if I've had an orgasm... minus the fireworks part.
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Re: In longer term denial? How has it changed you?

Post by wishful4 » Sun Aug 04, 2019 3:22 pm

The first month locked is the hardest for me, then it gets progressively easier. Once beyond the first month,my arousal pretty much is on an even keel and I have less of those desperate moments. Early mornings are the most difficult as I'm awakened by the attempt at morning erections fighting with the cage. That never goes away completely, but gets less of a comfort issue with time. It's like the little head figures out the erection isn't going anywhere so he doesn't try as hard, but, damn, he a slow learner.

Sexual activity is pretty much what she wants, when and how she wants it. Her favorite is to have me give her a relaxing massage, followed by an orgasm with her wand. Sometimes she will want to supplement that with her vixskin or my fingers. after she is done, she usually says, "thank you, that was wonderful". That's my cue to beg to be unlocked, but she has usually already decided the answer is no. On the rare times she decides to stroke me, she will usually use her hands and the wand, but she has become quite good at spotting when to stop before I cum. Sometimes, she will become aroused doing it and turn the wand on herself for me to watch. Afterwards, as soon as my erection has begun to soften, she slides and locks the cage back on and it's over.

Long term lockups do change my behavior, no doubt about it. I don't argue or disagree with her at all. I'm all about what she wants and defer to her about where we go and dine out, etc. I find myself wanting to be near her. I'm especially cuddly when we go to bed at night. Sometimes she likes this and sometimes not. She often remarks how far in the other extreme I am when I'm not locked for a period of time so I'm working to find a happy medium between smothering her and ignoring her that is agreeable to her. Not an easy task. I really like being locked long term and miss the cage when she decides to take a break from MC. Sometimes I'll attempt to deny myself and try to refrain from self-pleasuring for a certain length of time, but I had really rather be locked. I am not good at being my own Keyholder.
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danj
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Re: In longer term denial? How has it changed you?

Post by danj » Sun Aug 04, 2019 8:32 pm

Very interesting responses. Enjoyed reading all of them!
0 x
-Dan

and yes, that IS my beautiful hotwife wearing the key to my cb-6000s!

Currently Own: CB-6000s, Steelworxx Steelheart (2), modified Steelworxx Looker 3, and DH Gate A271
Currently Wearing: Steelheart

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Re: In longer term denial? How has it changed you?

Post by Tom Allen » Mon Aug 05, 2019 9:27 am

I'm returning to this because I had another thought. Yes, I do feel "sated", as you ask, and at some point over the years, I've lost the "need" to have an orgasm. Not the desire, which always remains with me, but that almost overwhelming need for release. I don't know if it's age (although I almost always wake up hard, and am certainly very aroused enough for sex several times a week), or if it's something else.

I mean, about once every 4 to 6 weeks, I'm aroused enough to have an orgasm in my cage, so maybe that helps to keep things under control?
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