Consent & Sensibility, or Is chastity all in your head?

Living the real life under lock and key
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Tom Allen
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Last orgasm: March 18th, 2018

Re: Consent & Sensibility, or Is chastity all in your head?

Post by Tom Allen »

I’ve thought about the concept of a script playing out, but I think our path is more organic. The script is written every day in ways that I would not have considered.
I'm not saying that the script won't or can't change. My overly-long post was more about how people have scripts in the first place, and that's the lens from which they view chastity or denial in their relationships.
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Re: Consent & Sensibility, or Is chastity all in your head?

Post by LockedUpNewb »

We don't have a contract and we pretty "loose" by most chastity standards. I did get pierced in Nov 2018 and it does make it impossible to escape or jerk off without destroying the device and/or risking personal injury if removing without a key. I can use a vibrator on the cage and have an orgasm, but I don't.

Even with the piercing, I'm still required to have some bit of willpower or that vibrator would be worn out.

For us it's just a fun kink. We're up and down with chastity. We'll go months without it and then she will want to play for a weekend or a couple weeks. Then back into the drawer it goes, until one of us gets a kinky hair up our ass again.
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Re: Consent & Sensibility, or Is chastity all in your head?

Post by Qwueepyo »

IME deciding not to cum for a month is easier than being locked for a week -- yes, it's all in your head. An ex edged me for a few hours, then said "I'm going to let you cum" and my T&D/OD desire was blown (not in a good way) and my raw dick went limp -- yes, it's all in your head.
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Re: Consent & Sensibility, or Is chastity all in your head?

Post by Steve2059 »

I lot to ponder on Tom, but I think that under the umbrella of our chastity kink lie as many motivations and variations as there are members of the forum.

For myself, I have a spectrum of kinks and fetishes which come together within chastity very nicely (for me). In particular, my sexual submissiveness, buried for years, has been given its freedom, and the cage fits well with my predilection for light/medium bondage and submissiveness. While my wife and I had to work out some new dynamics in our relationship after over thirty years of marriage, we're now communicating in both general and sexual terms better than ever before.

Through exploring chastity over the last two years or so I've come to be at peace with my body image (and my actual body, having lost over seven stones) and my sexual tastes, and giving up orgasms and 90% of PIV intercourse has led to me experiencing arousal levels and sensations beyond those of mere orgasm.

From my wife's perspective, and while she also has better and more frequent sex as well as getting a load of chores done she used to do herself, she likes what we do as much because she sees a happier me.

Of course I'm "forced" into my "inescapable" cage in the same way as my "inescapable" bondage gear is really fastened with velcro. It's real in my head and it's fun, but, unintendedly, we've gained some tangible benefits which have reinvigorated us at an age when our sex lives had, after over 30 years, begun to markedly decline into comfortable predictability.
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