Gay or straight - chastity is chastity

[Chastelifexxx]

I think it is important to express why those of us who practice chastity believe in it so strong. Someone might get into chastity merely as a whim or to fulfill a curiosity about it. Then the direction that is taken by those will be to continue to use it as a toy to pull out of the draw every once in a while or continue to use it as a more important tool in their relationship. For those of the latter category, who paid attention to their bodies, realized that for the brief time they "tried it out", how things changed for the positive while in chastity.

They realized that they stopped masturbating. They realized that the time that had been spent on pleasuring themselves was now being spent on pleasuring their partners. They realized that by not being allowed to cum anytime they wanted, they became more aroused and horny. They realized that with this increase in arousal and horniness, they turned to their partners for sexual attention. Then they learned that by continuing to be denied the ability to cum by their partner, the more aroused and horny they became, and the more attentive they became toward their partner/keyholder. The keyholder, now liking all this attention, learned quickly to tease and edge their chaste partner, to keep him on edge and ready for sex at any time.

My personal journey into chastity was something similar as just described. My first chastity device was the CB2000 many years ago. I will call that my toy. I did not have a keyholder or partner. I just selflocked and played with the chasity device for several days ever so often. Then it would go back in the drawer. After several months it started staying in the drawer more and more. I was not in a relationship and I really liked the jerking off part but the chastity device was cool to play around with.

I got into a relationship and after several years our sex life started becoming less than desired. My partner and I traveled for our jobs and both would be gone at different times. Sometimes we were like ships passing in the night. I would come into town as he was leaving town. While we were apart while being out of town, I would satisfy myself by jerking off. After I cum, I am really satisfied for two, three, or four days. I had no desire to have sex even if both of us were at home at the same time. Then one day my partner and I had a heart to heart discussion. He was not feeling that we were as close as we used to be. I didn't really feel the same. I thought we were doing fine. But what I realized was the fact that he placed a lot more emphasis on sex in a relationship than I did. To him sex is the connection between two people. And we weren't having a lot of sex so therefore as far as he was concerned, we were losing our connection, and by so he felt were on shaky ground.

Well at some point after that talk, I remembered the time years before where I had played with the CB2000, and I thought that maybe if I would be physically restrained from jerking off, our sex life might improve. I didn't like the CB2000 because it was too bulky and clunky. So I researched all the new devices and settled on the Holy Trainer v2. I ordered it, and put it on the day it arrived. I did not tell my partner about it. But when he came home he found me naked on the couch under a blanket. As he got comfortable, he came over and like he usually did would put his hand under the cover to just feel around and try to get things going. Well the look on his face when his hands and fingers ran across my locked cock. He yanked the covers off and said what is this? He knew what a chastity device was but was shocked I was wearing one. I told him ordered it for us and that I thought if I could be physically restrained from jerking off and denied from cumming, that it might help our sex life. He said how will you being locked help our sex life? I said lets just try it and find out.

The HT was very comfortable to wear. I wore it for a week right out from the start. Well by the end of the week I was a lot more attentive to his advances and even acting like an animal in heat. I was wanting him inside. I wanted him fucking me - so bad. I literally was animalistic in the sex we had that night. He had never seen me like that before. He loved it. So after we had sex he wanted me to take it off and he wanted to get me off. So that is what he did. And as soon as he let me cum, he realized the difference that happened in me as soon as I came, and knew he had made a mistake. He quickly saw the difference in me being denied and me being allowed to cum. He said I want that cage back on you now. So that is what happened.

This all started in March of 2017. I pretty much wore the HT for weeks on end, The longest stretch that I wore it was for 9 weeks, 24/7. During that time, I think we had more sex than we ever had in our relationship up to that time. All during that time from March 2017 to about Dec 2017, I never heard him complain about us having any relationship difficulty. Also what I saw transpire, was that he became much more of a dominate partner where he had never been before. He started becoming more demanding in what he wanted from me during sex. He was more dominate in how he had sex with me. And I was loving that.

I would describe our relationship as a Dom/sub relationship in the bedroom, but a vanilla relationship outside the bedroom. Anytime we have sex, we move to the Dom/sub roles. The term bedroom is code for sex. That sex can be in the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, on the deck, in the car, or out in the woods. Where ever it (sex) takes place, He becomes Sir and I become the submissive. The roles are absolutely understood between the two of us. It works.

There are times when we do relax the chastity use, but it is never put away for too long. We both miss it. I crave the time when He will tease and deny my from cumming. I love him being in charge. I love him deciding when, if and how I cum. I love how He can keep me on the edge for long periods of time. The feeling just keeps going and going. After an hour or so of Him teasing me I am still ready to go later. So instead of getting to cum and having a climax that might last for 10 seconds at most, now i have almost those same feelings last and last for long periods. And by Him now allowing me to cum, I am ready for sex at anytime. He doesn't have me saying "not tonight - I have a headache". Oh no. I am ready all the time. While i am in chastity we have had sex up to 4 times in one day. That never happened before we introduced chastity into our relationship.

Furthermore, what I have found out, is that when my cock is no longer the focus my sexual gratification, my anus, my mouth, and my nipples have taken precedence in all my gratification. My anus is my primary sexual organ now. Actually I guess, it is my prostate, but you have to get to the prostate by way of the anus. My mouth and throat have also become more adapt at giving pleasure to my Dom. And what I have found out is that my pleasure in sex now comes from the pleasure that my ass, mouth, and nipples give to my Dom.

Last year my Dom and I got married. After we got married we discussed that we both wanted to take my chastity to a different level. A more permanent level and we felt that a metal device would be the best to achieve this. I searched for different options and we decided on the Steelworxx Looker 01 Titanium with a moveable urethra insert. The Steelworxx because we wanted metal. The Looker 01 because my Dom husband wanted to be able to see and touch my cock through the cage as well as it being more hygienic so it can stay on indefinitely. The titanium because I have a metal allergy to nickle. I can't even wear surgical stainless steel, and since the urethra tube would be touching some of my most sensitive internal tissue, titanium was mandatory. And the urethra tube because it would prevent me from pulling out if I got really desperate. Even though I love chastity and the awesome feelings I get by being denied, I am still a man and the desire to cum is ingrained in our genes.

We could not be more pleased with our decision with the Looker 01. It did take some getting used to. I wore it for about 6 hours the first day, and increased the wearing time each day until on the fifth day I was wearing it 24/7. It is the most comfortable chastity device I have worn. I hardly know I have it on. The only time I feel it is when my cock slides on the urethra tube as it expands and shrinks during the day. That feeling can feel pretty good. Then one annoying little thing is that when I pee, I get a vibration most of the time but not all the time. I can live with that for all the other positive things about it.

As for my Dom husband - he is loving the fact that he can see my cock and feel it while it is locked up. He loves to tease it through the bars and get me all hot and bothered knowing that it will just frustrate me and make me more excited and eager for sex.

BTW - Dom is no longer worried about us and our relationship being on rocky ground by not having a lot of sex. Now with me in chastity, he gets all the sex he wants and sometimes more. And I have gotten a Dom that is getting more dominating at time goes on. Win Win.

Bottom line - it doesn't matter if you are gay or straight. Chastity works the very same way in either type of relationship.

[Devoted2Her]

@chaste_cock ... love is love brother! I am still new to chastity, only a few months in but I already feel the difference, I can't say it is 'fixing' my marriage because the love was already there, but there is just a heightened level of intimacy and a new line of communication open. Talking about sexual fantasies that may be uncomfortable to admit has made it easier to open up to each other for more mundane things.

The sex though has been phenomenal, I wouldn't trade an O for the feelings I am experiencing now physically or emotionally. My KH is becoming more and more Domme in the bedroom as she finally is getting used to the idea that my satisfaction goes through her satisfaction, she has not been shy letting me know what she wants and when!

[Schnoff]

> I am still a man and the desire to cum is ingrained in our genes.

That can be handled. It’s taking us a long time because we’re feeling our way along, and, it’s doable. I still desire orgasm. Of course I do. This play wouldn’t be any fun if I didn’t, either.

That said, not having a device does make it more difficult to obey. I slip, occasionally. I’ve also managed to stay horny for 4 months and a bit, without a device.

I think those are different kinks. Is it about the sex toy, the cage, or about orgasm denial? And to which degree? There are only right answers here, whatever fits a particular couple.

And for all my talk of “it works without a device”, we’re getting a device. For those week-long business trips where being away from my husband proves to be too much for my obedience / willpower.

[Devoted2Her]

I think those are different kinks. Is it about the sex toy, the cage, or about orgasm denial? And to which degree?

For me the cage is a symbol, it keeps me honest, as nothing is inescapable. I like the feeling of being caged, I really love the click of the lock (I have a cage with an integrated lock, that I don't use right now) there is just something about the moment when @IveGotTheKey, my wife, snaps it shut.

At first I never thought I wanted denial, I just wanted to not be tempted to masturbate, I think I could resist masturbating now since I have opened up to my wife about my desire to be controlled but the cage is now part of the kink, the process and from what I can gather, her key is just as important to her and her new found position of control.

It is just closing in on 2 months since we started but I've definitely become more submissive and @IveGotTheKey has slowly become more dominant, which is good. We are still a vanilla couple out of the bedroom and even when not in Dom/sub mode we are more tender and loving, we are both much more liberated and free.

[Chastelifexxx]

I think those are different kinks. Is it about the sex toy, the cage, or about orgasm denial? And to which degree?

It is just closing in on 2 months since we started but I've definitely become more submissive and @IveGotTheKey has slowly become more dominant, which is good. We are still a vanilla couple out of the bedroom and even when not in Dom/sub mode we are more tender and loving, we are both much more liberated and free.

I couldn't agree more. My Dom husband had not thought of being a Dom in the bedroom. But he has learned a lot in the last three years as well as I. I have pushed him in that direction and he has taken on the responsibility in a wonderful way. We too are very vanilla when the sex is not involved. I completely understand what you are saying.

[chadpaul21]

chaste_Cock I haven't read anything as hot as your tenth paragraph ("furthermore what I have found out...") In many years. The level of constant arousal you describe is exactly what I want for myself. I've always been a bottomboy but only realized my submissive nature in the last few years. I want to get where you are, where my anus, nipples, and mouth are my primary sources of sexual pleasure with my Cock locked up. The idea excites me wildly! As far as chastity goes I am a complete beginner. I've looked around the internet and I'm considering ordering the Shock Cock Cage from Fort Troff but I have several others I am considering. The dominant\submissive sexual relationship you have is one I hope to have one day. I just love getting fucked and submitting to a man. Thanks for your post here.!

[Chastelifexxx]

@chadpaul21 Thank you for such a nice compliment. Since you are a beginner in chastity, before you buy do lots of research into the different chastity devices. The biggest thing that I can't stress enough is for your chastity to fit properly. It can't be too big. The smallest you can fit in comfortably is the size you need to go with. That includes the base ring as well. My first chastity device was the CB2000 eons ago. That device came with different size base rings (cock rings basically) so you could choose the size ring that fit you the best. I don't think the newer ones come with extra rings. When I went to the Holy Trainer v2 three years ago, before I bought the HTv2 I went out and bought different size silicone O rings from Homo Depot. They are very inexpensive. That way I could order the base ring size that I already knew that would fit well and not go by trial and error. That can get expensive. They also have some metal rings found in the rope/chain/fastener isle. A bit more but still you can maybe find one that fits you snug but not too tight. The thing about the silicone rings is that if you put one around the base of your cock and your balls and it ends up being to tight, you can cut it off with no problems. The metal rings are not that forgiving. Just be careful. As for the cage part, you want to find one where your cock completely fills it up. You don't want any space if you can help it.

I went to look at the Shock Cock Cage at Fort Troff that you mentioned. It looked very interesting. I don't know if I would suggest that though as your first chastity device. Go with some of the cheaper versions and maybe even try several out - resin and metal ones. Find the one that you feel the most comfortable in. Then you can go and invest in a better quality chastity device of the same style and material. For long term wear, a chastity device that is more open is the best. The fully closed ones are the ones that you will have to remove more often to clean your cock and the inside of the cage to keep things hygienically clean for your health.

I also have two more posts. One in the same forum General Chastity Advice titled Dom Husband and Key Holder and another in The Journey forum titled Gay Chastity As It is Lived. This one is a blog where I write about actual experiences. These might be interesting to you as well.

PM me if you have any questions of a personal nature that you might want answered that I might be able to help you with.

Good luck with your chastity journey. You can definitely learn a lot about yourself and your body when your are in chastity.

[Loxx]

bought different size silicone O rings from Homo Depot.

Sorry, I couldn't resist...

Great advices, by the way!