The End of a Dry Spell

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happilylockedman
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The End of a Dry Spell

Post by happilylockedman » Wed Mar 06, 2019 10:23 pm

It's been about a month since my wife and I had PIV sex and since then she's not been interested in most any kind of sex play. She'd play with me in a half hearted manner from time to time but, because she wasn't into it, it wasn't at all satisfying for me. She told me that she was sure her libido would come back, sometime, but I was getting resentful. Like, when will you want to play? We cuddled a lot but without the sexual energy in play it felt like a charade. That feeling (charade) reflects my own limitations. Her love and affection for me were always there but without the sexual energy they felt inadequate.

Then, maybe last week, I read a post (I'm sorry, I don't remember whose) in which the guy described a very similar situation and that he figured that he would just have to be patient. That was very helpful for me. If he could be patient I could too. My resentment evaporated away.

Finally, this morning, she was feeling sexy! She pulled me into bed and ripped my clothes off my body. We had a great time in bed. I pleasured her to two orgasms. She played with locked up me, giving me everything but an orgasm. (She's told me numerous times that if I really feel the need for an orgasm and she's not in a sexy state that she'll do whatever it takes to "relieve my stress").

I loved it. She loved it. All is well with the world.
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Locked by LRC
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Location: Midwest, USA

Re: The End of a Dry Spell

Post by Locked by LRC » Fri Mar 08, 2019 7:36 pm

One of the hardest things to learn is patience. Congratulations and may your enjoyment with frustration continue.
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sls01234
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Re: The End of a Dry Spell

Post by sls01234 » Fri Mar 08, 2019 9:39 pm

Locked by LRC wrote:
Fri Mar 08, 2019 7:36 pm
One of the hardest things to learn is patience. Congratulations and may your enjoyment with frustration continue.
Well said once I did I have enjoyed this so much more and she has too
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sirmebane
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Re: The End of a Dry Spell

Post by sirmebane » Sat Mar 09, 2019 6:14 pm

Men, young and old, are driven to have sex and orgasm frequently. Women are typically more seasonal and libido drops on a steeper curve as they age. Nothing creates tension in a relationship (except money) like this disparity between sexual drives.

My own wife would be fine with having an orgasm once every 4-5 weeks or more. She feels "obligated" to satisfy me which makes her a wonderful and loving wife but a permissive keyholder. My best growth moment was to continually show her interest but shut up and let her guide/control/determine my orgasm schedule. She can make me happy with teasing but she isn't burdened with having sex or even unlocking me when she doesn't want to do so.

I will play games with her by begging for sex just to hear her dutifully turn me down because she knows it makes me happy. My fantasy would be that she would truly and finally take control and never again utter the words "is that okay?"

We're still figuring it out and I don't think that will ever change. We'll always be growing, adjusting and trying to do what works for us.
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