Chastity Forums

and with some couples, it doesn't get handled at all

Tom Allen wrote: ↑Wed Mar 06, 2019 8:37 am I guess I started thinking in very general terms when I saw some discussions on the use of the term "permanent chastity," and how some people were disagreeing on it.

"Permanent" requires some personal definition of the "foreseeable future." For many, the future is a week out when the next paycheck arrives. Perhaps living day to day. Thinking in terms of months, or years, or decades is unlikely. A week or month may rightfully be perceived as permanent.

I tend to think of our chastity practice as "Full Time." Much like a full time employee, you still get breaks and agreed upon vacations. Otherwise, the lock is on, and under strict control.

Xileh

peter_rabbit wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2019 4:29 am I made a matrix once ... to track two dimensions.

Now I think of different aspects of chastity.

One dimension is the standard sequence of male masturbation of their penis.

Orgasm Denial
Emission Denial
Edging Denial
Masturbation Denial
Erection Denial

Besides events, you can count durations:
One can measure the *past* time denied.
One can count down to a future finite time.
One can agree for an indefinite time duration.
One can assert intent for a permanent state.


Second, besides being denied, you can “merely” be controlled

You can have all your orgasms, emissions, edges, masturbation and erections controlled.


Third, the method how...

Hands free / mental
Your own touch, self and uncontrolled
Your own touch, but partner guided / supervised
Partner’s: hand, mouth, pussy, ass, cock, word...

There’s more dimensions but I’ll stop here.

And that class, will be your 2nd lesson in Statistical Analysis. There will be a "pop quiz" so take notes.

Tom Allen wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2019 11:52 am ... when Mrs Edge closes the lock, the device is locked on and stays on. She doesn't take me out to "play with me," or say :Well, maybe I'll let you come next week," or anything like that. So for us, enforced chastity is synonymous with orgasm denial.

Is Mrs Edge my wife's sister? My wife would lock, pat and smile. End of story.

Tom Allen wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2019 11:52 am ... when Mrs Edge closes the lock, the device is locked on and stays on. She doesn't take me out to "play with me," or say :Well, maybe I'll let you come next week," or anything like that. So for us, enforced chastity is synonymous with orgasm denial.

Funny, but my wife, who is becoming less vanilla each year, is now like that also. My last two lock-ups were for 61 days locked 24/7. I'm now on day 13 of the latest lockup and I expect it will go at least two months. Our only rule is I never get to ask when.

There's another aspect, that's not quite the same as orgasm denial and emission denial. I've realised it's more important to me than either of those... and that is the need to avoid that "downer" that you get after an orgasm.
If my keyholder wife indicates her intent to have PIV, while I have the normal urge to have sex, I also dread it, it's a far more intense sensation that anything from the denial of orgasm up to that point, however many weeks of months it has been.

The fear is of losing that continual state of arousal that being denied gives you. While I still have a very strong sex drive and enjoy physical sex, the continual constant high from not having orgasmed is so good I don't want to lose it. When I do orgasm, once it's brief high is over the resulting low is something I now really want to avoid, especially as it takes days and more often weeks to get back to the euphoric state.
(The problem that I have is that if my wife wants anything related to sex (or not) then having a chastity relationship with her now for many years, I now find it impossible to refuse her!)
To me this continual state of arousal is far more significant than the orgasm denial. (even though I still do crave sex, I don't crave the orgasms so much)

The fear is of losing that continual state of arousal that being denied gives you. While I still have a very strong sex drive and enjoy physical sex, the continual constant high from not having orgasmed is so good I don't want to lose it. When I do orgasm, once it's brief high is over the resulting low is something I now really want to avoid, especially as it takes days and more often weeks to get back to the euphoric state.

I totally get this. At times, I'm even worried that a caged orgasm will spoil that feeling; although so far, I'm back up and operating within an hour or two.

Tom Allen wrote: ↑Fri Jun 28, 2019 6:26 am

The fear is of losing that continual state of arousal that being denied gives you. While I still have a very strong sex drive and enjoy physical sex, the continual constant high from not having orgasmed is so good I don't want to lose it. When I do orgasm, once it's brief high is over the resulting low is something I now really want to avoid, especially as it takes days and more often weeks to get back to the euphoric state.

I totally get this. At times, I'm even worried that a caged orgasm will spoil that feeling; although so far, I'm back up and operating within an hour or two.

My wife has even complained that I look disappointed when she gives me permission to orgasm. It’s one of the things I need to work on to make this whole thing better for us. For me, I think that’s been more a result of there having been very long breaks between our playing this ‘game,’ and I’m trying now to focus on knowing that we’ll be playing again shortly, if not immediately, and that I need to just enjoy the orgasm and ‘break.’

Interesting thread. I'll need to think about exactly where we fit in the matrix.