Chastity Forums

Okay, maybe "matrix" isn't the correct term; I'm just thinking aloud here.

I've been thinking about this lately, and I've been noticing that we often toss around the term "chastity," although there are different aspects that we seem to enjoy. For example, some guys seem to enjoy the control aspect; it's not that they don't want an orgasm - they do - but they like the idea of having it either randomized, or having to earn it, or having their partner decide.

Other guys seem more interested in the denial aspect; they can go weeks or months without an orgasm, and manage to get some kind of enjoyment from bringing pleasure to their partner. Or they get pleasure from the denial itself, perhaps coasting on the high of the endorphins.

I also see that many of us (and this is a self selected group) prefer the use of devices of various levels of security, while others are fine with no device using will power alone.

Mrs Edge and I have gone from enjoying her control over my orgasms (in terms of when and how), to something else lately. In the past, we've gone long terms with and without the device, or used the device sporadically, to using the device with regular unlockings. Now it seems we're both enjoying long term orgasm denial, although it's enhanced by the cage which is now on more or less permanently (hygiene, medical, air travel being the exceptions).

I guess I've been noticing the various ways we've played, and started thinking about it in terms of a matrix. I'm open to any comments - is this just idle wondering, or is there some merit in examining this and creating something to help define how this works for us?

New here and just into my 4th week caged and already wondering and questioning my feelings on the need to orgasm. Since the first week I have been allowed to get to orgasm 3 times, but one in the middle I ruined myself trying not to get off to quickly. Right now I really want to but a part of me doesn't want to 'reset' emotionally. So I guess I am torn.

This is an interesting idea. There is certainly some interplay between the categories. I primarily like the control aspect, which necessarily involves enjoying denial on some level. While denial isn’t the desired end for me, I do dread the post orgasm drop and associated diminished submissive feelings. It can feel anticlimactic and drab, but not so much that I want to be constantly denied.

Device or no device can reflect the degree of control and/or denial (e.g. limited arousal v. limited orgasm). The degree of security needed seems inversely proportional to the desire to be controlled and/or denied. I have a high desire for both, and accordingly have a snug device that I could still get out of if I so desired. Even in my most desperate moments, I haven’t contemplated violating my KH’s trust. But if my desire was low, that likely wouldn’t be a concern.

So yes, a 4 or 6 axis chart may make sense.

I don't know how you create it, but I'm in. I will be coming up on a year locked in July. I only get out when wife wants me. That can be frequent or infrequent depending on life. I love the feeling of frustration from being locked. I love the tease and denial. Not into being sissy sub, she still wants me to be a man....think caged beast. A lot of excitement when you open the cage and let the beast out. Okay, a six inch beast but you get the point.

So, I guess the first matrix vector would be Time, because that tends to be what most of us are concerned with. How long between orgasms.

Another vector would be locked vs unlocked - that is, are you locked full time, part time, once in a while, etc.

Orgasm control (i.e., allowed under supervision or permission) vs orgasm denial (fewer or none, with permission only, etc)

Anything else?

I think there should also be a vector for orgasm desire and if one suffers a letdown after orgasm

Just my opinion

Devoted2Her wrote: ↑Tue Mar 05, 2019 2:31 pm I think there should also be a vector for orgasm desire and if one suffers a letdown after orgasm

Okay, that's a condition that I hadn't considered. I guess I was thinking about it in terms of how people approach it.

@Tom Allen

I think that is a part of how people approach it and how the approach may change after reality sets in.

You wrote about control va denial at one point, Tom, and what you wrote then made sense to me: Control involves a device, the direct exertion of control; denial may not, here the direct control is in the hands of the denied party, and the kink is about refraining from orgasm regardless.

The way you have it in this post, you already have time, and you have the frequency of using a device, and I’m not understanding how you are using control vs denial in this one. Control is shorter periods between orgasms, denial longer? Isn’t that captured by time?

I may have a “dimension” to add: frequency of genital stimulation / teasing. Is the couple looking to give the denied party genital pleasure rarely, or frequently?

I’ve read accounts of people who may go weeks or months without genital stimulation. Usually caged. And my own experience is the opposite: I am teased every time we have sex, and I orgasm every few months.