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Them and Us

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2019 9:35 pm
by happilylockedman
I googled "sexually submissive men" because, you know, I wanted to read about myself. I came across a chat room where guys were talking about how real men were 'take charge' and 'went after what they wanted'. I was so struck with the difference between them and me (and I think a lot of the guys on the forum). I don't think they ever could understand me, even if they were willing to listen which I doubt they would be. "Your cock is LOCKED UP ????????????????? What the fuck is up with that??????" They would say.

My sense of the gulf between us left me feeling a bit sad.

Re: Them and Us

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2019 11:12 pm
by slave d
They’re actually sexually stupid men as any woman worth the name will attest. They also don’t get 1% of the sex they’ll gloat about. Sad bastards would be my description of them, particularly when they get older and their only sex is with Mrs Palmer and Her daughters !!

Re: Them and Us

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2019 11:51 pm
by mr_faithful
I wouldn't call myself sexually submissive to a woman, but I am here nonetheless. My wife would not like me if I were sexually submissive either, in fact it would make me pretty unattractive to her.

Hearing my wife describe it, she wants to feel her strong man. She wants to be ravaged, and I love to ravage her. I think chastity play really accents that dynamic and spices it up. I'm pretty new to the whole thing, but wow it is hot. For both of us. It makes my passion for her burn red hot, so when I do take her it is very powerful.

We haven't done a chastity device yet, I have remained chaste by my own self control up to this point. I'm not all-in on the idea, but I do see some of the benefits. It definitely gets her off, and that makes me pretty interested too. Just to see her intrigued and turned on by it. Also, I'm looking at a long spell of chastity, and the idea of just taking it out of the equation altogether makes it simpler. I like simple. I started by looking at the PA-style devices that cover the shaft and don't rest on the balls. I've read the stories here about ball burn and that doesn't sound good to me, especially for long term wear. But the wife doesn't like the idea of the PA at the start, and I read Tom Allen's experience with it and the reality of constant infection doesn't sound so good either, so we are still thinking it over.

That is to say, I would consider a "real man" one who does take charge of himself and his family, and I could understand locking it up.

Re: Them and Us

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:28 am
by happilylockedman
Well said, Mr_Faithful. The men on this Forum include so many different expressions of sexuality that it would be a mistake to try to distill them down to one, or three. Not that you were doing that.

For myself, I get more sexual satisfaction from giving my wife pleasure than from receiving it. This is combined with my being really attracted to things kinky. For me the cage is like mini-bondage and my wife's participating in it is gratifying to me.

When I'm out of the cage (which is rarely) and we're playing in bed my own orgasm becomes very, very important to me. So much so that her satisfaction becomes secondary to me. I don't seem to have the self control put my pleasure on the back burner. My penis says Me! Me! Me! and I have a really hard time telling it to pipe down and be patient. The cage does that for me.

Re: Them and Us

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:38 am
by TwistedMister
slave d wrote: Sat Feb 23, 2019 11:12 pm They’re actually sexually stupid men as any woman worth the name will attest. They also don’t get 1% of the sec they’ll gloat about. Dad bastards would be my description of them, particularly when they get older and their only sex is with Mrs Palmer and Her daughters !!
More than a little truth in this. It has long been notable (and, previously, quite scandalous) that [some] men in positions of power and authority have turned to sexual submission as an 'escape' that brings a certain 'balance'.

Re: Them and Us

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:44 am
by Devoted2Her
I have kind of a similar experience as both @happilylockedman and @mr_faithful, my wife and KH really enjoys when I give it to her strong and I am really sure she does not want a slave or a sissy. That being said I can really relate to how it instantly becomes 'about my orgasm' when I am not caged, I get into a completely different mindset when free. I also have mixed feelings about this, I am not sure I am 100% sub but I really enjoy the emotional high I feel after pleasing my wife. Being new to this I am still sorting out a lot of feelings and am definitely curious where this journey will take us.

Re: Them and Us

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 3:58 am
by Schnoff
@mr_faithful , just a quick note on the PA. A heavy device, such as stainless steel, would irritate the piercing. Something made of synthetics (evotion) or titanium (steelwerks) is light enough that I expect it to be fine, and by many accounts is. I should know firsthand in 2-3 months.

It is important that the piercing be fully healed to the point where it can take a (small) weight, and that the gauge is big enough to spread the load across the surface. I am guessing here to an extent, but I’m thinking 2ga at the least. 4ga might work but I remember 4ga still pinching a tiny bit during sex, and 2ga being entirely comfortable. That’s why I wouldn’t try anything smaller than 2ga to anchor a chastity device to. That’ll take a year or year and a half for the initial piercing, healing, stretching, healing, and so on; and another year for the skin to form that can support some tug and pull.
That this takes so long may be why it’s not seen a lot.

For your wife, there’s pleasure to be had. I am told that a curved barbell at 2ga with a large end ball is very pleasurable for the receiving partner; whereas other jewelry or smaller gauges can be irritating. According to the pierced men who’ve shared their experiences.

Re: Them and Us

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2019 5:10 pm
by mr_faithful
Thanks @Schnoff, those are great tips. Sounds like the PA would really be a two year investment, and that's probably too much.

But it seems to me that a "real man" should welcome the challenge of a heavy stainless steel device being pierced to their tonker! :lol:

Re: Them and Us

Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2019 8:01 am
by gilesenglish
happilylockedman wrote: Sat Feb 23, 2019 9:35 pm I googled "sexually submissive men" because, you know, I wanted to read about myself. I came across a chat room where guys were talking about how real men were 'take charge' and 'went after what they wanted'. I was so struck with the difference between them and me (and I think a lot of the guys on the forum). I don't think they ever could understand me, even if they were willing to listen which I doubt they would be. "Your cock is LOCKED UP ????????????????? What the fuck is up with that??????" They would say.

My sense of the gulf between us left me feeling a bit sad.
First, they are talking that way because they are loudly performing masculinity, just like loud homophobes often turn out to be closeted gays. Many of them, if they have partners, will be wrapped around their little fingers.

Second, we're perverts, or erotic Epicureans. We'd be equally incomprehensible to vanilla men in peer relationships with their wives.

Finally, we are of course not doormats. Submissives are champions like Sir Lancelot, and we can include CS Lewis in our numbers.

Re: Them and Us

Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 4:31 am
by gilesenglish
(Also I just discovered that Hercules spent a year as a slave to Queen Omphale.)