Nonfiction books

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johnny1
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Nonfiction books

Post by johnny1 » Tue Nov 27, 2018 6:43 pm

I'm trying to find some books for my wife to read about chastity. We've been dabbling with her as the keyholder for about two years now 98% trust system and 2% actual device, and she likes how it's improved our relationship but doesn't want to spend a lot of time 'researching' aside from coming up with her own idea once every other month or so. We've got 2 young kids and she's just started a very busy new job, so I understand her not having time for more than she already does. I asked her if she'd be interested in one of the many Guide to Keyholding-type books that are recommended in various places, and she said she probably wouldn't read those, but she would read something if it was more in story form, since she's always got a Kindle book she's reading, usually with an erotic aspect to it.

I've seen House Rules recommended somewhere, but I was wondering if anyone has any other recommendations.

Thanks!
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Tom Allen
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Re: Nonfiction books

Post by Tom Allen » Tue Nov 27, 2018 10:17 pm

There's a book I just discovered on Amazon:
Strict Male Chastity: A Guide for Curious Couples by Kitty Williams.

While it appears to be a guide, it also contains (supposedly true) stories from women who have discovered or been introduced to chastity.

Note that I have not read this, myself.
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conorg
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Re: Nonfiction books

Post by conorg » Wed Nov 28, 2018 4:08 am

Couple of reviews there don't hold much hope for that book Tom.
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Steve2059
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Re: Nonfiction books

Post by Steve2059 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 6:40 pm

Hi Johnny,
About 18 months ago I was in the same position - a wife who loves me, is tolerant of my kinks but who didn't want to get overly involved in them whereas I wished for Her to become far more dominant and strict with me.

We got to a point where our relationship came under great strain, She became deeply unhappy over my continual badgering while I couldn't understand how She could possibly not want to take control of my sex life.

Surfing the net I came across a blog by Elise Sutton, where she expounds on her theories of female superiority. A lot of what she says I consider dubious, but I did take away some life-changing observations.

First is that what the hell am I doing pestering for domination? How is that submissiveness? It is actually "topping from the bottom".

Second was her repeated advice to men in my position. Her advice was that if your significant other isn't keen, perhaps it's because you haven't shown her what the benefits are to her through your kinks. So instead of pressuring her, do submissiveness to yourself and think about how you can use this to make her life more enjoyable.

For myself I started out with an abject apology to Her. I put to her a list of things I would like to be "forced" to do, including chastity, edging and wearing lingerie more often, but also including chores I could undertake naked and perhaps even caged (I didn't have one at this time). I explained it would be great if she could task me in these, but via iPad dice rather than roleplaying, but that I would be cool rolling the dice myself.

She responded very positively to this, partly because She has no issue with my predilections, just being forced to playact them with me, but partly because She would get great chunks of housework done, particularly heavy chores such as vacuuming, ironing and changing bed linen. She also likes that we schedule an hour each day to go to bed, to cuddle, to chat, to perhaps have sex, but entirely Her choice with no asking or badgering from me.

With the pressure off She has actually turned into the strict chastising partner I wanted, and it's ages since we rolled any dice. She initiates sex now whereas She never ever did, and also challenged me to my NOvember denial. She's hidden or thrown away all my male underwear and now picks out what panties or hosiery I am to wear each day, and She's hidden all my keys. Usually I get out only whenever She wants PIV sex or if She thinks I've earned a supervised wank (not to completion), usually once or perhaps twice a week for a couple of hours. otherwise I attend to Her on command while caged if She wishes it.

She loves that there's now no pressure and no fending me off, For myself, the realisation is that being horny as hell but being forbidden to verbally or otherwise express this, and having to wait until She's ready, is what chastity is all about (for me now anyway).

But hoping She'd read books or internet pages leading to the scales falling from Her eyes, would have been an utter non-starter.
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johnny1
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Re: Nonfiction books

Post by johnny1 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 11:40 pm

Hi Steve,

I understand your intent and appreciate the time you put into writing your post. I'm well aware of topping from the bottom and all the other things we end up doing in an attempt to pursue our interests without taking into consideration our partner's point of view. A year ago I was sending her links to tumblr, blog posts, and all the things we find that we think (as you put it) would lead to the scales falling from her eyes and realizing what an amazing opportunity this is.

The problem with your post is that instead of offering a book suggestion, you offer unsolicited advice. I know my wife well, better than she knows herself in some ways. I know she likes to relax and read books on her phone every night while falling asleep, and usually those books involve some erotic aspect. I know that she has read books where the woman is in control and that has lead to her using ideas from the book in our sex life. So providing a book suggestion like this isn't topping from the bottom, it's just a suggestion of a book she might genuinely enjoy. A year ago I might have benefited from your advice, but today your assumption of what I'm looking for isn't accurate. At this point in our lives, mostly with the young kids that we have, that level of 'play', or maybe 'intensity', wouldn't work for us. Kids act up and half the time at home being locked up is the last thing I would want. Maybe, hopefully, someday something like you have would work for us, but now that I'm being realistic about it, currently that's not our situation. A few years ago our relationship wasn't in a good place, and after looking at the root cause I asked her to take control of my orgasms. She agreed, and over time has tightened her control over what is allowed, on her own. Our relationship is now better than it ever has been. Every six-ish months I ask her if she wants to continue doing this, and so far she does. She's a willing participant in this.

What is our situation though, is that she likes to read books every night before bed, and I'm currently looking for suggestions. Got any?
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cshorts
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Re: Nonfiction books

Post by cshorts » Thu Nov 29, 2018 1:53 am

I've looked at several books for just this purpose. I haven't given any to my wife yet because I'm following the advice of others to be patient and let her adjust slowly to this new idea. But of the ones I've read, I like Sara Jameson's Be Careful What You Wish For the best. It's long (270 pp) and covers more topics than others (including, e,g., ruined orgasms). She gives lots of authentic detail from her relationship with her husband. They are very vanilla: no femdom, no cuckolding, but very strict chastity. (She does, a bit, discuss less vanilla variants for completeness, but as extras, not the main content.) and she seems quite intelligent and perceptive about human psychology.

It's hard to find: I think sold only through her now inactive web site (but the sales link still works): https://www.malechastityblog.com/ultima ... ity-guide/. And it's quite expensive ($67). But just like the high price of a good device, I think it's worth it if your partner is unsure or wants to learn more from a legit keyholder with a non-threatening, vanilla vibe.
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conorg
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Re: Nonfiction books

Post by conorg » Thu Nov 29, 2018 4:28 am

Are you looking for non-fiction or fiction books Johnny1?
By your comments sounds more like you are looking for fiction.
Robert-Anthony has some good short stories here http://chastity-femdom.blogspot.com/
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KittensBoyToy
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Re: Nonfiction books

Post by KittensBoyToy » Thu Nov 29, 2018 10:11 am

I gave "Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders" by Lucy Fairbourne to kitten when I first introduced the idea of chastity to her. Written much more with the 'vanilla' woman in mind.
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Tom Allen
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Re: Nonfiction books

Post by Tom Allen » Thu Nov 29, 2018 12:45 pm

Johnny1, if you haven't looked at the Elise Sutton website, you might want to check it out. There are stories (again, supposedly true) from women who will talk about what they have done with their husbands, or from husbands. Maybe create an anthology of the stories for her to read?
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sherulestherooster
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Re: Nonfiction books

Post by sherulestherooster » Thu Nov 29, 2018 5:33 pm

Literotica? Haven't checked it out in a while.
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