Chastity Forums

We had a bit of drive one evening to attend an event and my wife mentioned someone we had both known in the past just filed for divorce. The man had a mid-life crisis, decided that he needed to play the field and immediately started dating other women. My wife was shocked by this and was sad for this couple who were discussing how they could now reconstitute their marriage and get him counseling for his crisis.

"I just can't imagine what I'd do if you cheated on me. How do you recover from something like that?"

My daughter was in the car but I REALLY wanted to remind her that I was caged and any mid-life crisis would be short-lived and cheating was not physically possible. Such is my sense of humor.

Yes, I know you cheat with your heart and not always with your penis.

Do you or your wives take comfort in the marital security of chastity? I feel like this has to be an underlying benefit.

Our chastity play has nothing to do with fidelity or the lack thereof. It's a kink and a game that either of us could bring to an end.
Having said that, should I have a similar crisis to your friend, my chastity kink would play a significant part in dissuading me from straying.
If you think about it, we've all gotten into this because weekly vanilla missionary intercourse leaves us unfulfilled. 99% of us will have taken the initiative on introducing the idea of chastity into the relationship and for many of us this will have initially been a difficult process with unwilling partners (it was for me for a time) and will have taken time and effort to get where we are now.
So, with this in mind, why would we ever want to risk this relationship with understanding partners who now cheerfully participate in our rather offbeat predilection, in favour of the sort of sex we've worked to leave behind? Unless you want to bring the fact of your unexpected metalware up in conversation on your first date - good luck with that!
For me, I have had two midlife crises and each time I bought a sportscar. Much more fun and much safer.

I’m not a cheater nor have I ever cheated but I don’t believe the chastity itself would dissuade anyone. But it is a big part of the intimacy with our mate. So I’d imagine if chastity play is going well there’s little desire to cheat. I’m much more appreciative that my gf does this with me and while the cage may not be a physical deterrent, emotionally it is a component of our relationship working.

Steve2059 wrote: ↑Thu Sep 27, 2018 2:12 am For me, I have had two midlife crises and each time I bought a sportscar. Much more fun and much safer.

I guess that all depends on how fast you are driving those cars

Time for me to dust off the old blog and pull out something from the archives.

https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2009/ ... y-therapy/

Preach it. No device will create deep trust, that requires a very different kind of work, ultimately far more rewarding.

Steve2059 wrote: ↑Thu Sep 27, 2018 2:12 am
For me, I have had two midlife crises and each time I bought a sportscar. Much more fun and much safer.

I’ll leave the question for Kitten to answer. My midlife crisis...I bought my Harley. It was either that or a 25 year old girlfriend...I know that would have killed me. At least with the Harley I have a chance!

I would never cheat on my wife with another woman- but I will say that being in chastity has definitely stopped me from masturbating- which my wife considers a form of cheating.

sirmebane wrote: ↑Wed Sep 26, 2018 2:44 pm We had a bit of drive one evening to attend an event and my wife mentioned someone we had both known in the past just filed for divorce. The man had a mid-life crisis, decided that he needed to play the field and immediately started dating other women. My wife was shocked by this and was sad for this couple who were discussing how they could now reconstitute their marriage and get him counseling for his crisis.

"I just can't imagine what I'd do if you cheated on me. How do you recover from something like that?"

My daughter was in the car but I REALLY wanted to remind her that I was caged and any mid-life crisis would be short-lived and cheating was not physically possible. Such is my sense of humor.

Yes, I know you cheat with your heart and not always with your penis.

Do you or your wives take comfort in the marital security of chastity? I feel like this has to be an underlying benefit.

Maybe your wife could tell her about some devices, if it is not too late

I cheated on my wife, six years ago. I had gone to a spanking club in NYC and met a domme woman who gave me her email address. I pursued a relationship with her, tremendously excited to finally meet a
non-commercial woman who wanted to dominate me. I lied to my wife numerous times to conceal my activities. Finally the pressure of my lies became so high that I told my wife half truths. I lied to her again, even as she listened to me sympathetically.

She wanted me to move out, which I didn't do. I was terrified that I had destroyed my marriage. I started seeing a therapist, she eventually agreed to go with me to couples counseling after she thought I had learned enough about myself (This may sound like she was arrogant but she was 100% right).

At this point our marriage is better than it ever had been in the 38 years we've been married. I introduced chastity about a year and a half ago. She's okay with it, sees how it's helped some things. Now that I'm able to talk with her about some of my kinks (Not all, see "the Gallows") I no longer feel any desire to go outside my marriage.

Chastity's biggest help for us has been as a vehicle for us to talk about sex. We never used to, sad to say. Now that I'm better at opening up about myself sexually and she's better at listening we're doing a whole lot better.