Negative effects on Relationship?

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Inchast8
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Re: Negative effects on Relationship?

Post by Inchast8 »

It would be interesting to hear from some KHs on this subject. Personally, I can’t imagine any negative effect.

Marriage stability is so important to all of us, but why is chastity’s benefits not reported in women’s magazines?
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Schnoff
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Re: Negative effects on Relationship?

Post by Schnoff »

Inchast8 wrote: Mon Jul 02, 2018 3:12 am Marriage stability is so important to all of us, but why is chastity’s benefits not reported in women’s magazines?
It is reported on, actually. Just not as “caged penis” but “Karezza”, which is basically learning to fuck without orgasm - for the man. That term is worth a Google excursion ;) .
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sherulestherooster
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Re: Negative effects on Relationship?

Post by sherulestherooster »

Schnoff wrote: Mon Jul 02, 2018 4:33 am
Inchast8 wrote: Mon Jul 02, 2018 3:12 am Marriage stability is so important to all of us, but why is chastity’s benefits not reported in women’s magazines?
It is reported on, actually. Just not as “caged penis” but “Karezza”, which is basically learning to fuck without orgasm - for the man. That term is worth a Google excursion ;) .
Hey Schnoff,
Maybe a thick question, but when I google karezza biggest sites coming up are the renuniting site run by Marnia; this board seems to heavily favor avoiding orgasm for both male and female. In fact, the couples that talk about preventing orgasm only for the male seem a bit put down by them.

So my question: is there anything "mainstream" discussing karezza that recommends only male orgasm avoidance? Would be helpful to us as a couple...
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Schnoff
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Re: Negative effects on Relationship?

Post by Schnoff »

Hmm, you are right, the original author suggested that “in the interest of equality, women should refrain from orgasm too”, though she focused on males not orgasming.

ABC News has a piece here: https://abcnews.go.com/Health/karezza-l ... d=16743124

You can always suggest that you think your relationship will benefit and you will benefit, and she can come as she has been. There is research that suggests that for women, enjoyment of sex is tightly coupled to orgasm, while that is not true for men.
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Schnoff
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Re: Negative effects on Relationship?

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Found an excerpt, maybe the whole text, of the 1931 Lloyd treatise on it. The language is - archaic :).

http://www.sacred-texts.com/sex/krz/krz13.htm

Edit: And a related concept, closer to what you have in mind: Coitus Reservatus

“The psychologist Havelock Ellis writes: "Coitus Reservatus, – in which intercourse is maintained even for very long periods, during which a woman may have orgasm several times while the penetrative partner succeeds in holding back orgasm, – so far from being injurious to a woman, is probably the form of coitus which gives her the maximum gratification and relief".”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coitus_reservatus

All of which amounts to: the idea of men not having orgasms is not novel, and people have been interested in it for a very long time. See also tantric sex.
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cuyahoga
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Re: Negative effects on Relationship?

Post by cuyahoga »

I think both Karezza’s and Tantric’s focus is easiest to sum up as, “It’s about the journey, not the destination.” Tantric exploration is actually how I found orgasm denial / delay.

I don’t think either of them were male specific to begin with. What you have to remember is that these concepts were thunk up by men, and they were presuming that women would have the same experience. I think with the advent of females researching what really happens in the female body and brain in the last thirty years or so, a different conclusion has been reached, the conclusion Schnoff mentions.

Apparently, men and women might have different reactions to and results from sexual pleasure.

Whoda thunk it? Crazy, right? (Sarcasm).
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fuzzydunlop
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Re: Negative effects on Relationship?

Post by fuzzydunlop »

It’s easy to get so carried away by any practice or style to forget a partner’s needs. What does somebody mean by “chastity”? Wearing a cage sometimes? Total denial? Also, needs change as relationships evolve. Sex is fun. Variety is fun.
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TonyF25
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Re: Negative effects on Relationship?

Post by TonyF25 »

nothing negative here . Since she introduced it , it works for us. I'm a cuckold husband, and this stops me for masturbating when I feel the urge . It helps her to keep me completely under her control. but she is fair about it, when she goes out on a date and is fully satisfied , she will come home tell me all about it unlock me and let me masturbate as she watches
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Re: Negative effects on Relationship?

Post by sherulestherooster »

cuyahoga wrote: Tue Jul 10, 2018 12:48 pm I think both Karezza’s and Tantric’s focus is easiest to sum up as, “It’s about the journey, not the destination.” Tantric exploration is actually how I found orgasm denial / delay.

I don’t think either of them were male specific to begin with. What you have to remember is that these concepts were thunk up by men, and they were presuming that women would have the same experience. I think with the advent of females researching what really happens in the female body and brain in the last thirty years or so, a different conclusion has been reached, the conclusion Schnoff mentions.

Apparently, men and women might have different reactions to and results from sexual pleasure.

Whoda thunk it? Crazy, right? (Sarcasm).
Stockham, a woman, was credited as inventing karezza in 1869. Per the wikipedia page, seems to have been on board initially for female orgasms, but later changed her mind on that. That page cross-references Oneida Community, which sounds polyamorous but also advocated avoidance of male orgasm but preference for female orgasm. Relevant quote from that page:

They favored this method of male continence [ejaculation avoidance] over other methods of birth control because they found it to be natural, healthy and favorable for the development of intimate relationships. Women found increased sexual satisfaction in the practice, and Oneida is regarded as highly unusual in the value they placed on women's sexual satisfaction. If a male failed they faced public disapproval or private rejection

I think it's interesting to practice male orgasm denial as "it's best for our relationship" as opposed to a kink. I think of it as a kink myself, but my wife has said many times, "I like you better when you are horny and hard for me".

Funny story (I've told many times, but don't stop me, I like to tell it), our first incidence of male orgasm denial was a fairly vanilla setting. We had young kids, went to a family reunion and had no privacy for sex. Both of us got really horny as the week went on. Last night there, we were staying at a relative's house with no privacy; wife ruled out sex because of the chance of being caught. I fingered her to orgasm, then she petted me but didn't let me come, because I would have shot my load across the room (she was right) as well as made a huge mess we may not have cleaned up completely. Funny, to this day when we have sex outside our bedroom, she pretty much requires a condom, to contain the mess.
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Re: Negative effects on Relationship?

Post by Bird in a Cage »

I wanted to see if there is a re-fresh to this topic. I've been reading about karezza quite a bit as of late. Has anyone has been exploring/practicing/experiencing karezza techniques in the last five years (since this post was last hit)?
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