Chastity chat

Living the real life under lock and key
Tullyboy
Posts: 245
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:30 am

Re: Chastity chat

Post by Tullyboy »

Haha!
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Schnoff
Posts: 940
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2017 5:03 pm
Location: Western MA
Last orgasm: August 14th, 2023
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Re: Chastity chat

Post by Schnoff »

We've added something to our routine recently, at the urging of Mistress Sky, our mentor. We've got daily touch points now, and they really help with feeling connected.

One of those is that my husband asks me in the evening how I'd been doing with orgasm denial that day. I have a chance to share, and he knows where I'm at. If I've been good, I get praise. Yay praise. :lol:

I keep saying "a power dynamic isn't for everyone" on here. And, as I think about this more: Y'all are living a power dynamic, a pretty hefty one. To not be able to pleasure yourself or orgasm whenever you want, that's a power dynamic.

And in a power dynamic, both the D-type and the s-type have responsibilities. The main responsibility of the D-type - in most of your cases, the wife - is to provide structure to the relationship, a structure that the s-type can then live in and fill with their own stuff.

This is heady stuff. I expect a lot of you - or your wifes - will say "pish posh. This is no kinky D/s shit. We just love chastity." And that's true as far as it goes: It need not be kinky D/s shit, with full-on "oh Mistress" talk. It's still a relationship with a bit of a slant - a power dynamic. She gets to come whenever she wants; you don't.

I have books I can recommend: "Building the team", by Raven and Joshua, and "Unequal Partnerships", by Mistress Sky. Yes those are kink authors. Trust me when I say they have valuable things to say about "relationships with a slant" even if you don't want anything to do with kink.
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Schnoff
My orgasm denial blog
Tango tangor ergo sum.
Tullyboy
Posts: 245
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:30 am

Re: Chastity chat

Post by Tullyboy »

Thanks for the insight, Schnoff.

Tullygirl and I had a formal transfer of power in our relationship. It wasn’t a contract, exactly, but in writing I offered sex and everything to do with it to her - and she accepted. Now her power in that arena is absolute.

For example, just yesterday I gave my wife a weggie and she said, “Nope. That’s off the list for you. Never again.” And I pouted for the rest of the day. ;)

It’s interesting that you say,
a structure that the s-type can then live in and fill with their own stuff.
I have framed it in these terms: “My place is to find my desire within the parameters of her desires.”
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