Let's see if I can elucidate on how/why it 'works' for us...there are several factors involved- for many years we have tended to be 'busy' people, often working long hours and 'non-traditional' hours, sometimes with schedules that don't coincide. Though she enjoys intercourse it hasn't been something that happened frequently (except for when we were both very young and fucked like bunnies every chance we got). Another factor is that she has rarely had an orgasm with intercourse except/unless first having had one immediately prior from oral...whether that is due to something with her or something with me, I couldn't say...but often it has just been oral anyway and the intercourse gets left out.keeperof55 wrote:...I...enjoy intercourse with him very much and would never want it to go by the wayside. I'm happy to deny him to increase his pleasure, but I haven't gone longer than 65 days without it.
So for you men who adore your partners and are all about putting their needs first, do they just not have a need or interest in having intercourse with you any longer and that's what makes this work so well in your relationships? What if they did want the feel of you and not a toy or device designed to be a substitute for the pleasure that you alone can bring? Would that be different? It's tough finding a balance of "being in control" in the relationship and getting what I want, but also giving my husband what he wants - which is to be denied and controlled by me. So, is your denial mutual or is your denial for your pleasure only?
So, her denying me intercourse does not equate to her 'losing' anything, it usually isn't something that is/was happening all that often anyway. The fact is that 'playing the game' results in *more* sexual activity (and pleasure for her) than not, even if intercourse is not happening...though that can be happening *more* frequently rather than less, as compared to the 'normal' situation. Sometimes she still gets PIV, though without me 'finishing', and sometimes she goes 'all the way'...and ends with her getting more oral and an[other] orgasm after (she discovered that she *really* likes being 'naughty' and making me 'clean her up' after).
She definitely prefers the 'real thing' over toys but she likes using the toys too. She also has the option of getting the 'real thing' from someone else, which she has talked about but not actualized...I realize that that sort of thing is not for everyone but it is something that we both get aroused at contemplating.