Stepping out of my comfort zone...or am I?

[tammystoy]

I had an interesting experience over the weekend that's left me curious and a little nervous and I'm wondering what other people thought about it.

First, a little background: my wife/KH and I don't have a full-time D/s relationship. She likes being a sub too much so we switch off. Also, when I am in chastity we tend to keep it in the bedroom. Oh, I am still locked up for sometimes long periods of time but, except for a little verbal teasing, it does not affect our relationship outside the bedroom. We do not have an FLR, I do not do all the housework, etc. But that changed a little last weekend.

It all started last Wednesday. My wife had me tied up on the bed and proceded to give me a good, long cockteasing. Since joining me on this male chastity journey she has become a very proficient cock teaser, and I was ready to burst after a while. There was no relief for me, though. As I half expected, she then told me to put on my cage. Rats!

And it didn't stop there. I got the same treatment Thursday and Friday night, then back in the cage without release. Saturday was the worst: almost two hours of teasing, then back in the cage. I was so horny I could hardly sleep that night, and my cock strained against the cage most of the night.

Sunday morning, after she woke up, there was more. This was all way more than she had teased me in the past, except maybe once, and it had come out of nowhere. I hadn't even been locked up for weeks.

After about half an hour she reached over to her nightstand and picked up a piece of paper. On it she had written her "To Do" list for the day. It was mostly projects around the house and yard. Then she made her offer: she wanted to go shopping with her sister, so if I finished her To Do list for her while she was gone, she would let me cum that night. Otherwise I was going to have to wait until at least Thursday before I could cum. Of course, I readily agreed. I was so worked up and worked over I couldn't have done otherwise. I even asked her if I could cum first, then do her projects, but she just laughed at that whole idea.

The projects on her list weren't household chores. We tend to split those, but we each have our own types of projects we like to do, or that we think are important at a given time. And she had never used control of my orgasms to make me do anything like that before. As I said, we tend to keep it in the bedroom (and I have done plenty of things in the bedroom that I might not have otherwise for a chance to cum!). But I knocked them off pretty easily -- there was nothing too dirty or too difficult -- while she was shopping with her sister. All my work met with her approval, and that night I had a pretty intense, very satisfying orgasm.

Later she was embarassed and almost apologetic about using my horniness and desperation to cum to get me to do her work. She said she'd initially told her sister she couldn't go shopping with her, but then she'd had the idea of getting me to do her tasks for her. She thought it might be "fun." She'd even considered trying to get me to beg her to let me do her projects in exchange for cumming. I asked if if she'd meant it when she said I was going to have to wait until at least Thursday to cum if I refused to do her work, and she said that, even though she felt kind of bad, she probably would have. She definitely has a stubborn streak, and there's no doubt in my mind that all that hot cum that shot out of my cock Sunday night would still be trapped in my balls right now, and that I'd desperately be hoping for Thursday to come quickly, if I'd said "no."

Maybe this is just another step on our "journey," but I'm not sure how I feel if it's going that direction. If I'd just straight-out been playing the sub role, that would be one thing. But she used her total control of my orgasms -- which exists outside of any D/s roles we may be into at any particular moment -- to manipulate me in a way she never has before. I'm not angry or resentful, but this definitely has made me nervous about how she might use the power she has, and how I might respond to that. Obviously, this is something the two of us are going to talk more about. I'm curious if anyone else has unexpectedly crossed a line you never had before, and how you handled it, and if it changed your relationship.

[braddogg4345]

It sounds like you are well on your way to an FLR. My personal advice would be to just enjoy it, and let your girl take control. But if you are not into that kind of thing, let her know now, before she gets a good taste of it. Because once she discovers and gets accustomed to all the advantages to her, she wont want to give it up.

My KH and I are in an FLR. It is kind of a mild FLR compared to others i have read about, but it is an FLR. At first she was uncomfortable with it, and hesitant. But after she experienced all the benefits, she is all about it! I love it too. It completely changed our relationship. My KH used to be timid and indecisive. Now she is confident and assertive. She did a complete 180.

[tammystoy]

Thanks for your thoughts, braddogg4345. I came right out and asked her about this after I read your comment. I admit I was a little nervous since I was afraid you might be right. I honestly don't know what I would have done if she'd said she was trying to lead us in the direction of an FLR.

Turns out, she'd never heard the term before. When I explained what it was she said she was not interested in that, and that she sure as hell didn't want all the responsibility of making all the decisions in our relationship.

On the other hand, she likes having control of my orgasms. I'm not in chastity all the time by any means, but she said she enjoys knowing she can control my orgasms any time she wants. Fairly soon after she agreed to make male chastity part of our relationship, we moved to the point where she alone decided when and for how long I would be in chastity. She said she loves that. She said that since I was the one who wanted to make it part of the relationship that it wouldn't be fair for me try and go back on it now. In other words, I can plan to be spending time in and out of that cage for quite a while yet. Not that I want that to change: like you, it completely changed our relationship for the better. And I find it kind of exciting to think I don't have a choice in the matter, or at least not an easy out.

As for the bit about using her control of my orgasms to get me to do stuff outside the bedroom, she said it had just occurred to her that she'd used that as a negotiating tool to get me to do stuff in the bedroom and thought it might be fun to see if she could get me to do other stuff as well. She still felt kind of guilty about it and is not sure if she'd do it again. She said it might not be as fun for her if I know she's "priming" me for something. On the other hand, she's not ruling it out either. When she said that I thought about how we've been disagreeing lately about which chairs to get for our new dining room table...

She thought it was funny that I actually thought she might let me cum that Thursday if I'd refused to do her projects. She assured me that it would have been at least Saturday and that she would have made sure she was in a much better negotiating position by then. Gulp. Guess I dodged a bullet on that one!

PS Sorry for the delay on updating this. Real life getting in the way again.