Where to go from here

Living the real life under lock and key
Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: Where to go from here

Post by Shepherdsflock »

My wife has been this way from the beginning. You can ready Journey thread for details, but chastity was the first thing she ever responded favorably to. And it was pretty much an accidental discovery. I introduced it to stop masturbating, but she ended up really liking it a lot. In the six years we were married before chastity, she never expressed any interest or enjoyment in anything even remotely sexual. When I introduced chastity, it was her that suggested making love with the device on one night when she was having her period, and she LOVED it. I knew right then we had discovered something special.

But, she is not the dominant type and couldn't bring herself to tell me just how much she enjoyed my chastity. It took several months to get the truth out of her. A lot of me stumbling through lock and release periods, and her secretly wishing I could just stay locked up permanently.

After about six months of the lock/unlock rollercoaster, I finally asked her if she wanted me locked up permanently. She bit her lip and grinned for a moment, and quietly said yes. We had a long conversation during which she confessed that she had wanted that since the first time we tried it, but didn't think it was her place to make a decision like that and was afraid to suggest it.

In the end, we both agreed that my chastity is going to be permanent, but it took her more than six months and a lot of poking and prodding from me to finally tell me how she felt. This is how some women are. You can't get a straightforward answer out of them. You have to really dig beneath the surface and be patient to get the truth out of them.
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newbie
Posts: 259
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:44 am
Location: Upstate NY

Re: Where to go from here

Post by newbie »

I really want to thank all of you who have so far responded to my request for guidance. I can tell by the entries that you put a lot of time and effort into writing these and that is deeply appreciated.

I agree with all of you, and will take your advice to heart. One thing I can say is that quite a while ago my wife and I had a frank (if somewhat limited) conversation about me being in chastity, and why I choose to be. We were still in bed after we had sex where I spent the whole time pleasuring her and bringing her to orgasm orally all the while I was extremely turned on and really breathing hard and grinding around in bed. It was really intense for me and she really noticed how turned on I was. It was the first time I had really let go of any inhibitions concerning me wearing a device and just enjoyed giving my wife pleasure.

This is the point where she asked me (in a genuinely concerned way) why I wanted to be locked and put myself thru all that. I replied that giving her pleasure gave me great pleasure, and that I would rather remain turned on for longer periods of time than have an orgasm when there would certainly be a let-down of sorts immediately following. I'm sure it wasn't as eloquent as what I just typed but the point was made, and she seemed to take it in and really didn't react at all. I think she was really concerned about me quite honestly, and what I was getting out of it, but once I explained it she hasn't brought it up again and we've been intimate a few times since with me locked since with no sign of guilt on her part. I hadn't cum for two weeks prior to this conversation, nor have I since.

It was during this same conversation that she asked me what she was supposed to be doing with "it" since it was all locked up, so I told her she could play with it or something, which she told me that would be pretty impossible. So really I guess we've had the conversation but should really expand on that, and let her know once again that I get the greatest pleasure out of pleasing her, and the anticipation that goes along with it.

I'll follow that path and be sure to maintain the ground that we've already covered so as not to ruin things before I approach her about holding the key. I tried that a long time ago and that's when she wanted no part of it, but things seem to have changed since then. I may keep one key for me to lock up at night and unlock in the morning, but keep the second key on her nightstand for her to use when she wants me out. We'll see.

Just one last thing to ad. We have been far more intimate more often since starting this latest stint in chastity than we ever have been before. She regularly responds to my initiating foreplay and seems to get more aroused quicker than at any time before. She gets very wet very quickly and seems more relaxed while I pleasure her. I really think there is a sense of relief that she can just lay back and enjoy everything without having to reciprocate. While I know she always enjoyed PIV sex in the past, and probably misses it to a certain extent, I also know that she has really come to enjoy oral sex just as much.
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Last orgasm: October 20, 2016. Masturbated while locked. :(

Last PIV: been a while

Device used: CB6000s, Holy Trainer V2 (part time) Black Short and Clear Standard.
Currently locked part time in a Clear Holy Trainer V2 Standard, 40mm ring.
nebman
Posts: 172
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 4:01 pm

Re: Where to go from here

Post by nebman »

newbie wrote:

I replied that giving her pleasure gave me great pleasure, and that I would rather remain turned on for longer periods of time than have an orgasm when there would certainly be a let-down of sorts immediately following.

Very much the same with me. I love the intense horniness of being sexually involved with my wife, but don't like when the party ends abruptly when I orgasm.

A few nights ago, caged, and having sex for the first time in months, I could hardly believe the intensity of my horniness when I had my fingers inside her very wet pussy. All I could think about was how amazing she felt inside, and how much it honestly reflected how she felt at the moment. I suppose I took it as an expression of her love, and how much she was obviously enjoying me at the moment.

A much better experience than when I was doing her orally a few months ago (uncaged for months at that point) and could not get her to orgasm, let alone even get wet.
Last edited by nebman on Fri Apr 01, 2016 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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newbie
Posts: 259
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:44 am
Location: Upstate NY

Re: Where to go from here

Post by newbie »

I think you are on to something there.

My wife has been far more turned on when we are being intimate than I can remember. She responds more to my touch, and makes her body more available to me by repositioning herself and really "offering" herself to me. I've really noticed that.

Also, after we're done she seems more gentle and loving than before, and really loves to bond and snuggle into each other more. This rarely if ever happened before because she would almost immediately get up to get herself cleaned up and to throw me a towel to clean myself up. None if this is necessary anymore since I'm not allowed to cum.
0 x
Last orgasm: October 20, 2016. Masturbated while locked. :(

Last PIV: been a while

Device used: CB6000s, Holy Trainer V2 (part time) Black Short and Clear Standard.
Currently locked part time in a Clear Holy Trainer V2 Standard, 40mm ring.
Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: Where to go from here

Post by Shepherdsflock »

I think you may be onto something when you mention she asked what to do with it. My wife asked a question similar to that, and I gave a response like that, too, with no response. My wife is submissive and she doesn't really like making choices about things. If I tell her to do anything she wants, she doesn't know what she wants to do and gets kind of stressed out. She mostly wants me to drive everything until she gets really horny and then she's ready to start being more demanding.

Besides figuring out what she likes, let her know what you like. And don't hold back when she does things. Let her know how much you like it. My wife and I both move each other's hands to the places we like if the other is playing in areas that just don't do much.

Communication is critical, whether verbal or non-verbal. Up to this point she has gauged her performance as a lover on how your penis reacted. Now that your penis is off limits, you have to use new signals to communicate your pleasure. There is a learning curve.
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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: Where to go from here

Post by Shepherdsflock »

newbie wrote:I think you are on to something there.

My wife has been far more turned on when we are being intimate than I can remember. She responds more to my touch, and makes her body more available to me by repositioning herself and really "offering" herself to me. I've really noticed that.

Also, after we're done she seems more gentle and loving than before, and really loves to bond and snuggle into each other more. This rarely if ever happened before because she would almost immediately get up to get herself cleaned up and to throw me a towel to clean myself up. None if this is necessary anymore since I'm not allowed to cum.
This has been our exact experience, too! She'll cuddle with me for a long time afterward. She even gets upset if I have to get up to pee or something. That's one of the things I had to learn through observation. She won't just tell me that she really wants to hold me after her orgasms, I had to learn that on my own. I know now that once she has an orgasm, cuddling is expected.
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nebman
Posts: 172
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 4:01 pm

Re: Where to go from here

Post by nebman »

newbie wrote: My wife has been far more turned on when we are being intimate than I can remember. She responds more to my touch, and makes her body more available to me by repositioning herself and really "offering" herself to me. I've really noticed that.

Also, after we're done she seems more gentle and loving than before, and really loves to bond and snuggle into each other more. This rarely if ever happened before because she would almost immediately get up to get herself cleaned up and to throw me a towel to clean myself up. None if this is necessary anymore since I'm not allowed to cum.

Wow, that's really been my week as well - making herself available and snuggling up after she cums.

My wife has had a few UTI's in recent years, and she blames PIV sex or even possibly semen. She's trained herself to immediately urinate after sex to reduce the possibility. She also has turned me down for sex at times complaining that she'll be a sticky mess down there and does not want to spend the night that way.

Funny, tonight we have a dinner and concert. Due to concert security using metal detector wands, I'll be going uncaged. This would seem the perfect night for sex as part of a date night, but such nights don't always turn out that way. She won't know I'm uncaged, unless she puts together the metal wand thing and my passing through it. I may have to slip back into it after we get home and see where things go. Three possibilities:

1) Late and tired. No sex.
2) She'll want me uncaged to enjoy PIV (which she does at times) and to give me what she thinks I want.
3) She'll leave me caged and we'll have sex that way.
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nebman
Posts: 172
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 4:01 pm

Re: Where to go from here

Post by nebman »

Shepherdsflock wrote:
newbie wrote:
This has been our exact experience, too! She'll cuddle with me for a long time afterward. She even gets upset if I have to get up to pee or something. That's one of the things I had to learn through observation. She won't just tell me that she really wants to hold me after her orgasms, I had to learn that on my own. I know now that once she has an orgasm, cuddling is expected.
I see we wrote essentially the same thing at the same time.

It seems you and I, and newbie, are all experiencing roughly the same thing.
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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: Where to go from here

Post by Shepherdsflock »

nebman wrote:
newbie wrote: My wife has been far more turned on when we are being intimate than I can remember. She responds more to my touch, and makes her body more available to me by repositioning herself and really "offering" herself to me. I've really noticed that.

Also, after we're done she seems more gentle and loving than before, and really loves to bond and snuggle into each other more. This rarely if ever happened before because she would almost immediately get up to get herself cleaned up and to throw me a towel to clean myself up. None if this is necessary anymore since I'm not allowed to cum.

Wow, that's really been my week as well - making herself available and snuggling up after she cums.

My wife has had a few UTI's in recent years, and she blames PIV sex or even possibly semen. She's trained herself to immediately urinate after sex to reduce the possibility. She also has turned me down for sex at times complaining that she'll be a sticky mess down there and does not want to spend the night that way.

Funny, tonight we have a dinner and concert. Due to concert security using metal detector wands, I'll be going uncaged. This would seem the perfect night for sex as part of a date night, but such nights don't always turn out that way. She won't know I'm uncaged, unless she puts together the metal wand thing and my passing through it. I may have to slip back into it after we get home and see where things go. Three possibilities:

1) Late and tired. No sex.
2) She'll want me uncaged to enjoy PIV (which she does at times) and to give me what she thinks I want.
3) She'll leave me caged and we'll have sex that way.
The UTI thing (almost EVERY time we had intercourse) combined with vaginismus, made my wife HATE sex. It's crazy how much alike all three of our stories are. It's kind of nice to know there are other guys out there experiencing the same thing. And kind of crazy that chastity has made such an improvement for all of us.
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newbie
Posts: 259
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 6:44 am
Location: Upstate NY

Re: Where to go from here

Post by newbie »

It really is nice to know that there are other guys out there experiencing the same thing.
0 x
Last orgasm: October 20, 2016. Masturbated while locked. :(

Last PIV: been a while

Device used: CB6000s, Holy Trainer V2 (part time) Black Short and Clear Standard.
Currently locked part time in a Clear Holy Trainer V2 Standard, 40mm ring.
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