Managing Horniness

[Tabbhas Swain]

My husband/KH and I have only just begun living this lifestyle. I'm currently waiting for my JB from MM to arrive. In the meantime, I have a less expensive, and highly uncomfortable "made in the USA" stainless steel knock-off that we bought on Ebay to tied us over until the custom device arrives. We haven't tried anything long-term yet as we both are a little nervous to do anything extended due to the device being so ill-fitting. The longest we have gone is only a couple of days.

My desire for my husband/KH is at an all-time high. We have always been very passionate with each other and the problem I am having is that each time I get aroused it is like getting a swift kick to the groin. I don't want to stop him from sharing his love with me nor do I want to stop expressing to him, but the pain is excruciating. I'm unsure it if it is due to the device or if this is something I will have to learn to manage.

In addition to managing the pain when we are passionate with each other, I have had problems with the constant state of sexual excitement I feel when I am in the device. I have read other posts and people talk about doing housework and other deeds of service to distract themselves. I always have done that for my husband and it really isn't working at distracting me from my desire for him. The end result is even more painful device inhibited erection moments during the times in between our cuddling times.

Does this go away with time? Is this something I just am going to have to live with in exchange for the beautiful submission this lifestyle is allowing me? Any thoughts or help are deeply appreciated.

Thanks in advance to anyone who is able to respond to me

[Grizzly228]

Personally I don't find erections excruciating in the cage thought they can be uncomfortable or chaffing. However nocturnal erections are extremely painful to me and prohibit me from wearing from day to day regularly. Perhaps the style of cage or size is too small for you. A larger ring may assist as I find the pain I feel usually doesn't come from the length being pushed back but from the base and sides of the penis being squeezed. I've ordered a slightly larger ring for mine which may arrive tomorrow and I hope will make my nocturnal erections manageable.

[slave d]

Time and a well built cage cures all. The discomfort is initially part of the deal and learning to deal with that is what we've all dealt with to a greater or lesser extent.

d

[TwistedMister]

The size of the main ring is probably too small for you right now. It takes time to adjust to wearing a device. You will most likely have better success if you move to a size that does not cause you pain, let yourself get accustomed to it, and then gradually progress to the next smaller size.

[The Grinder]

A ringless device will avoid these types of issues. These are a class of chastity devices that use a PA as the lock to hold a tube on your penis - the tube prevents stimulation of the "sweet spots" that allow orgasm. You will be able to have a painless semierection but you will not be able to orgasm or have conventional sex.

There are issues with a chastity tube. First hurdle is you'll need a well healed PA, and a large one at that. The tube needs to be an exact custom fit. They aren't cheap. But for me it was absolutely worth the cost, wait and effort.

The Grinder

[Tabbhas Swain]

Thanks everyone for your replies. It's funny as when I wrote this I thought managing my libido would be the most important part. Yet, what everyone is saying makes sense as far as managing the pain. @grizzly228 nighttime I'm fine with surprisingly enough as I'm a sound sleeper. Morning wood is a bit rough. I know the ring is right as if I go up one size I can pull out easily, plus it passes the finger test. That said I think I agree with you and @twistedmister that going up one ring size to get my balls accustomed to being in the device and then scaling down might help.

@slave d does the length of the cage matter as far as testical comfort? The length is a little long in my temporary device so it allows me to get harder than my custom cage will. I'm wondering if being able to get more engorged is a good or bad thing when I'm trying to get used to this? Hoping my MM jailbird arrives soon. (Ordered it 4 weeks ago).

@The Grinder, the first device I ordered was the PA5000. I have had a PA for almost 20 years now (I'm 43). It wasn't real comfortable as when I have shrinkage it would start to pull. I had considered one from Steelwerks but will have to save for that. Are there other brands on the market besides those?

Again thank you everyone for your help. It really is giving me perspective and I know as I adjust that it will get better. Today is a day out of the device, but tomorrow starts the first longer stent. We had been adding a half day after each wearing of the device to help me acclimate. It's funny because even with all the pain, I really miss it when I'm not wearing it.

[Aarkey]

...the problem I am having is that each time I get aroused it is like getting a swift kick to the groin. I don't want to stop him from sharing his love with me nor do I want to stop expressing to him, but the pain is excruciating.

In addition to managing the pain when we are passionate with each other, I have had problems with the constant state of sexual excitement I feel when I am in the device.

Your topic and what you're sharing reminds me a lot of another thread here called "pushing past blue balls" - hopefully you can get some helpful thoughts from it.
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=61541

I'll add one other thing, pain is not the same as discomfort. Pain is your body's way of saying that something is wrong. I encourage you to respect that and be patient for a properly fitted device.

[cycling2work]

fully agree with all the ones above...
your base ring is too small.. happened to me too. i am now in a bigger base ring.... and am better - although still with a little discomfort at night

[The Grinder]

A custom chastity tube is $250 - $300 from Steelworxx. A Lori's tube will run $350 - $650. There are other options like the Crucible from Steelworks (have to ask for a quote) or the mouse trap. I even remember seeing a custom fitted titanium head cap for several thousand bucks but it looked amazing, covering the last inches of your penis in a life-like sheath of titanium locked in place through your PA (something that will wait till I win the lottery)

Bottom line - the ringless devices have to be an exact fit, custom made for you. Cheaper is not better because even a tiny misfit will make it uncomfortable. I have a drawer full of "cheaper" contraptions that cumulatively cost over a thousand bucks. It wasn't a good deal aside from learning a lot about what doesn't work.

I have had my ringless devices on for as long as two months with a few hour long releases for cleaning and play (so 99.5% full time) But it was a long and uncomfortable path to finding what worked best for me. I have both a Lori's tube #5 and a Steelworxx Tube Jacket - each works for me, the Tube Jacket is my current preference. But neither of them causes discomfort.

We aren't getting any younger. Save up, buy the best device for you and have fun!

[Tabbhas Swain]

Your topic and what you're sharing reminds me a lot of another thread here called "pushing past blue balls" - hopefully you can get some helpful thoughts from it.
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=61541

I'll add one other thing, pain is not the same as discomfort. Pain is your body's way of saying that something is wrong. I encourage you to respect that and be patient for a properly fitted device.

Thanks for the reminder Aarkey. I have a very high tolerance to pain so something was definitely off here. A few people have said to try the bigger ring, but when I have shrinkage I can get a full two fingers in down to the second knuckle and can pull out with some fishing (though the new device when it comes will have a PA adaptation so pulling the locked PA through would be impossible if I was 1 ring larger.) However, at the size I'm wearing, I can just barely get 1 finger in up to the first knuckle so I'm unsure if I am sizing this right.

Also thanks for the link to the blueballs thread. It helped a lot. I was never a chronic masturbator, but would take care of myself 1-2 times a week. Since we started this journey in December, I have not once cheated and relieved myself. I tried the Valsalva Maneuver as one of the people in the thread recommended and it really helps a lot and so I'm thinking when the device goes back on me tonight that might do the trick when I get too worked up and can't take the pain any more.

Also, the one person who said that minimizing the stimulation can help is spot on. The problem with that is my husband/KH is like a kid in a candy store with me being locked up. He is so turned on by it, he won't leave me alone (I love him, I just want a break from the affection so I can give it a rest). I almost wish we went back to EMC without the device so he wouldn't have a visual reminder to turn him on. I told him it wasn't comfortable when he was overly affectionate, so I'm hoping that once I'm back in the device tonight he finds better ways to show his love that aren't as intense for me.

Thanks again. Being so new to this, I just didn't know if it was me or the device. It sounds more and more like it is what I'm wearing. I'll just be patient and talk to Sir Tabbha to see if he is open to EMC w/out a device until the jailbird arrives.