Chastity is not about the sex, or the teasing

Living the real life under lock and key
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Chastity is not about the sex, or the teasing

Post by attentive_husband » Thu Dec 31, 2015 4:07 pm

Ok, I've only been in chastity for 45 days so I may find things change. But what I see at present, it's not about the sex, or the teasing, or the sexual part.

Going from masturbating almost daily and having sex every week or two to what we now have with lots of intense teasing, no masturbating, and occasional incredible sex. Is a big change in our sex lives. But I'm not sure I would call what we have now better than what was before. It's different and definitely not worse. But for the pure physical release, the sex, the orgasm, the physical desire - it's different, not significantly better.

What's gigantic is how it changes our relationship for the better. Me in chastity makes my wife so much happier than how I was before. In so many ways. And I am so happy that I make her happier. That's gigantic for both of us. This is why I can't see going back. How can I say masturbating daily for my own selfish enjoyment is more important than both of us being so much happier.

I think what's core to all this is while I still have all the physical urges, they can't be handled. And therefore all those intense sexual urges are redirected into loving her. Backrubs, footrubs, hugging, kissing, taking walks, holding hands, anything and everything else. And those are all things that are love. It redirects the lust into a combination of love, and some lust.

And it just won't work, at least yet for me, without being locked up. It's knowing that there's zero chance of sex right now, zero opportunity to masturbate, that redirects. Without the lock and her controlling the key where no means it's not happening, then there's the 0.00001% chance that would leave me in the all-lust mode (and the 100% chance I would masturbate).

The being constrained makes me a more loving husband. And that's the giant win for both of us with this.
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