My first punishment... OUCH!

[TwistedMister]

I have done some experimenting with rubber bands and...ouch, it's easy to go from "That's interesting" to "Holy fuck, that hurts!", especially if the same spot is snapped repeatedly.

At first, Mrs. Twisted did not want to do anything that might cause pain, she was adamant about not wanting to 'hurt' me. Then she discovered that she enjoyed cock-slapping, and it made her 'wet'. Some time after that, she discovered that slapping my balls could produce a significant reaction without much effort, and could be done without removing the cage. To her, the lack of effort required meant that she wasn't really 'hurting' me, though in fact, the pain can be significant.

Sure, it won't be the fantasy punishment I thought I wanted when she first took the key to my cage, but it'll be a part of submitting to her and learning how to make her happy to avoid regular punishment like that.

In my mind, there are two types of 'punishment', the 'fantasy' type done for purposes of amusement, titillation, and erotic effect (for him or her, or both), and the type which is administered with the intent of changing behavior by means of negative reinforcement.

If the goal is to induce a change in behavior, then the punishment must be of such a nature and severity that the subject will want to avoid repeating the experience, and will modify his (or her) behavior in order to avoid repeating the experience.

Both types of 'punishment' can enhance the experience, depending on the goals and desires of the partners. While complete and total domination in all aspects isn't *my* thing, if that's what *you* are looking for, it looks like you might be getting it.

[Jedi]

In my mind, there are two types of 'punishment', the 'fantasy' type done for purposes of amusement, titillation, and erotic effect (for him or her, or both), and the type which is administered with the intent of changing behavior by means of negative reinforcement.

If the goal is to induce a change in behavior, then the punishment must be of such a nature and severity that the subject will want to avoid repeating the experience, and will modify his (or her) behavior in order to avoid repeating the experience.

Both types of 'punishment' can enhance the experience, depending on the goals and desires of the partners. While complete and total domination in all aspects isn't *my* thing, if that's what *you* are looking for, it looks like you might be getting it.

Very well said! There are some things my wife does to cause me pain that is for our enjoyment... then there are things she does that cause me pain that make me never want to do anything wrong ever again.

[hd2500ne]

Sounds pretty intense for a first time. Wonder how intense punishments will be in the future.

[nervous newb]

So an update, no punishment since then. To be honest, it kind of creeps me out. I don't know if I'm going to be punished for not getting chores done or not! When you look at the psychological principles of behavior modification, random rewards for desired behaviors and consistent punishment for undesirable behavior generally yield the best results. She's got the random rewards thing down, but the punishment? I've been punished that one time so far. That's it. I don't know if I should expect more or not! She did tell me when she left Saturday to go shopping that I needed to get the dishes done. I chuckled an "ok" and she retorted "You'll be sorry if you don't."

When she got back, the dishes were done and dinner was ready for her. I was terrified, absolutely terrified of what "You'll be sorry..." entailed. She's never used extended lockups as a punishment, but then again, she'd never punished me until the rubber band thing. She had threatened extended lockup before, but never came through.

[cycling2work]

I have been thinking quite a bit about your situation, mainly for the reason because I am thinking of adding punishment to our relationship. I have browsed quite a bit and for me it seems your KH might have done some research. I am sure there are quite a few guides out there for women.

I came across A Married Woman's Guide to a happier more fulfilling relationship.

Reading it makes me long for implementing something along the way so that I can become a better husband but I am not sure I am yet ready for the brutal punishments Also there are areas in our lives that I don't believe should be solved that way (Mainly how we bring our kids up)

Let us know how you get on and if and when it happens again. Did you ever talk about it with your wife? Did you ever give her permission to do it? Should you not have told her you never want it again does that mean there is one part of it (the control, the fear?) that makes it slightly erotic for you?

[knighterrant]

I came across A Married Woman's Guide to a happier more fulfilling relationship.

Much of that content is gleamed from the work of Aunt Kay at the DWC, to give credit to the author whom objects to the word press site. However, no doubt it is a very good site to introduce the idea of a disciplinary relationship to one's wife.

http://www.auntkaysdwc.com

[Veganpunk]

Holy crap. I clicked the link and read it all, than found the DWC and got sucked in reading all of that site. Some good stuff there. Thanks for that cycling.

[cycling2work]

glad you liked it Veganpun, thanks knighterrand for Aunt Kays link, awesome content - horrific presentation..!

Now leaning back and waiting for more reports from nervous newb

[nervous newb]

We had talked about discipline before, I've always had a desire for the fantasy spanking. I also made sure she understood that I was giving her complete control, and that (as far as I knew at the time) I was on board with however she decided to make my chastity work for her happiness.
As I look back on it now, it was painful, but I would say it wasn't beyond what I can tolerate. In the moment, it was brutal. But I've recovered physically now (took about a week), and if she were to punish me in the same way again I would accept it.
Did I give her permission to do it? I gave her full authority to discipline me however she saw fit. We did not discuss specific methods at all. I think I always hoped for the fantasy spanking that would turn me on (and make me pleased about not completing the assigned chores) rather than make my cry and wish I had completed the chores. It was the first time she'd punished me, and it was far different from the fantasy, so it was shocking to me. Now I understand better that a punishment is a punishment, not fantasy playtime. At this point, if I get a punishment in the future, I expect it will be unpleasant, not fantasy playtime.
The thought of the punishment happening again is not erotic for me (although a "light" spanking is.) At this point, I don't plan on asking her to not do it again, I plan on doing the chores she assigns me. I know that if there's blood, she'll stop. I know that I can say a word and she'll stop if I feel that strongly about making it stop, but I also know and accept the reality that if I don't do assigned chores, there will be punishment, and it won't be pleasant at all. It will be painful. I took 15 snaps from that rubber band, which is exactly what she told me it would be before the first snap occurred. If she got lined up for the next punishment and told me it was going to be 100, I'd run screaming from the house before she could touch me.