One big downside of male chastity

[attentive_husband]

It's a pretty big event in your life, especially when first trying it. And you can't talk to anyone about it.

I can talk to my wife a little but she finds it annoying if I talk too much. And any conversation with her is within the framework of her being the key holder and that has a large impact on what's discussed, and the course of the conversation.

And it's not something I can bring up with anyone else I know.

Discussions on the forums here help a bit. But that's not even close to discussing something with friends & family.

[wolf513]

Agreed. A few weeks ago, when I got started, my wife got so frustrated with my obsession she threatened not to play anymore, as I was _always_ talking about it, and wouldn't shut up.

So I too feel the challenge of bottling up all the things that this makes me think about.

[Tom Allen]

This is something that doesn't get discussed very often.

Your behavior is pretty typical, and it was a challenge that Mrs Edge and I faced at one time. I had to make her understand that while there was very little that had changed in her life, mine had changed in a very fundamental way, and it was difficult *not* to talk about it all the time. I mean, all that she had to do was remember where she put the key. I could no longer touch myself, I had to make arrangements and adjustments all the time, and had to think ahead about using the men's room, etc. And of course, I was horny all the freaking time.

It took a while before I acclimated enough so that I wasn't obsessed with the idea. The both of you need to learn how to talk to each other: you, without making it dominate every conversation, and her, in trying to understand how much this impacts you.

[attentive_husband]

It took a while before I acclimated enough so that I wasn't obsessed with the idea. The both of you need to learn how to talk to each other: you, without making it dominate every conversation, and her, in trying to understand how much this impacts you.

This helped a lot. I discussed this with her and she bought off that I do need to talk about it some. And I promised to keep it to a reasonable level. We still need to figure out exactly what that means. But adjusting the amount of discussion - that's doable.

thank you

[poptart1200]

I struggled with the same issues at Attentive when my g/f and I first started chastity. It was very exciting stuff! But as time has gone on, the chastity talk has diminished, at least with us. Chastity is now just an accepted part of our relationship, especially now that we are quickly moving to a FLR. I am locked up 24/7, she has the key and I never know when she will use it... not really much to discuss anymore.

[sunnyweasel]

And is that a bad thing ?

[cottus]

Personally, I would be very disappointed if my keyholder rarely flaunted her status to me. As others have noted, however, it's all about communication. My present holder knows I like to talk about it and she is more than happy to indulge me.

[MrCage]

Yes I have been there, and yes it comes and goes. I do remind Mrs Cage that she doesn't have the day to day of wearing it, she understands. But I do find that sometimes I think and talk about it more than she wants to. Then I think that she knows that I need to talk about it to get through it. But now since it has been a year and a half of lock-up, I do tend to talk about it less. The forum is a great place for me to read and write so it takes some of the talking away from the Mrs.

Just accept your cage as a type of body jewelry and feel good about it! That's a line from Mrs Cage and it does work. I mean, she doesn't talk about her jewelry all the time, so why should I? I admire hers, and she admires mine. Since it will be on forever, just let the chastity bit go and embrace the fact that your KH has given you a wonderful and private piece of jewelry that not a lot of people have.

[keeperof55]

Just accept your cage as a type of body jewelry and feel good about it! That's a line from Mrs Cage and it does work. I mean, she doesn't talk about her jewelry all the time, so why should I? I admire hers, and she admires mine. Since it will be on forever, just let the chastity bit go and embrace the fact that your KH has given you a wonderful and private piece of jewelry that not a lot of people have.

I really like that line of thinking. I'm a private person and enjoy being my husband's keyholder very much. It is one aspect of who we are as a couple - but it's not everything, so I find we've reached a balance in our conversations about chastity, what we've each seen or posted on the forum, etc. and "life is pretty great!"

[Shoe Slave88]

I was lucky to be born without the gene that causes people to be embarrassed. Most of my close friends male or female know that I have lived a BDSM lifestyle in the past. My ex wife was a dominatrix. Through general conversation they have heard some of the extreme things that have gone on in my past and so when I bring up the chastity topic now most of them are not surprised. None of them have ever really been involved in any of it in any way but for the close friends who are willing to just listen it does help to be able to talk about it without fear of judgement even though they can't always relate or reciprocate the conversation it's still nice to just be comfortable talking about it.