pushing past the "blue balls"

Living the real life under lock and key
nervous newb
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pushing past the "blue balls"

Post by nervous newb »

So this is a question for the guys that regularly are pushed weeks without ejaculating.

My wife and I have been working on this chastity thing for about 2 months now. When we started, I couldn't last more than 2 or 3 days before the blue balls were so painful that she'd have "pity sex" with me to relieve the pressure. We've been able to build up to a week before she can read in my eyes how much discomfort I'm in and has sex with me to relieve it. To me, the discomfort is INTENSE! I'm barely functional. I can barely take a walk with my kids or sit and do my bookkeeping.

So I guess the question is, does the intensity of the blue balls subside a bit a day or two after onset? I can't imagine living every day of my life in that much discomfort, but I hate it that my wife feels obligated to have sex with me just because she sees the level of discomfort I'm in. She gave me a few broken orgasms, and they did relieve the pressure, but she doesn't like doing that. She'd prefer to just deny.

The pressure does relieve almost immediately after sex or a broken orgasm, so I can't blame it completely on an ill-fitting device, although I do wonder if a custom fit metal device would help the situation some. Are there any guys there that could share their experiences with me of how they make it through the blue ball discomfort? Or any experience in the reduction of blue ball discomfort with a properly fitted custom metal device? Please no porn-fiction responses. My wife and I are both starting to become a bit frustrated with the chastity lifestyle because of this, and I enjoy the way I feel about her when I'm horny and revved up, and she loves how she doesn't have to do the dishes. Chastity has teased us with a relationship balance we both enjoy, but neither of us likes how worthless I get when I get to that degree of discomfort, and if we can't solve this we may give up on chastity as a way to maintain that balance. We both want to work towards longer orgasm denial, and we need to figure out how to achieve that. She's made it clear she doesn't want prostate milking or broken orgasms to be the solution.
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Currently wearing a Holy Trainer V2.
Formerly wore a CB6000s knockoff.
Shepherdsflock
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Re: pushing past the "blue balls"

Post by Shepherdsflock »

I just went three weeks with no orgasms wearing a Holy Trainer V2. I don't find the blue balls all that bad. I notice it, but it's not painful or debilitating. Maybe you need a different size ring.
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TwistedMister
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Re: pushing past the "blue balls"

Post by TwistedMister »

It passes after a while. You need to be determined to get past it. Exercise can help (gets the blood flowing). I think a hot shower helps too, for me anyway.
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
Grizzly228
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Re: pushing past the "blue balls"

Post by Grizzly228 »

It will subside after a day or two depending on the extent of teasing beforehand. I too get severe blue balls but usually it doesn't happen until 5+ days of extreme teasing. I usually take a break at that point and allow a day or two for it to go away before teasing again. But once you have them they tend to come back quicker so you have to try to pace yourself at that point.

I find warm showers help as well, also walking up and down stairs is supposed to redirect the blood. I have noticed this helping sometimes. The best way to combat it is prevention when possible.
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Aarkey
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Re: pushing past the "blue balls"

Post by Aarkey »

nervous newb wrote:My wife and I have been working on this chastity thing for about 2 months now. When we started, I couldn't last more than 2 or 3 days before the blue balls were so painful that she'd have "pity sex" with me to relieve the pressure. We've been able to build up to a week before she can read in my eyes how much discomfort I'm in and has sex with me to relieve it. To me, the discomfort is INTENSE! I'm barely functional. I can barely take a walk with my kids or sit and do my bookkeeping.
A few questions:
Are you sure that the device is a good fit?
Are you sleeping in it as well?
Have you tried wearing different underwear?
How old are you? (It has gotten much easier for me as I've gotten older.)
Are you doing anything to try to relieve it other than "pity sex"?

Generally, now that I have a custom sized device and have spent the time making sure it works as well as possible for me, I can make it about 10-12 days before a very real and painful discomfort happens. And it is bad enough that "just pushing through it" isn't a real possibility.
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"Some people need to be caged before they can be free." - Anon
Caged55

Re: pushing past the "blue balls"

Post by Caged55 »

Size and custom fit made it much easier, and the ocasional "milking" helped huge...
My KH is not into "pity sex", unfortunately, or else I would have played that card. Also with time, and a proper device it helped to over the blue ball "period", I could not go longer than a week in a CB3k, yet can go virtually endless in my custom fit JB, longest being nearly 3 months without release...
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nervous newb
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Re: pushing past the "blue balls"

Post by nervous newb »

Thanks everybody for the responses. I appreciate all the info. There were a few questions asked in them and I'll try to reply to them and I have a few more questions of my own, I had a few more that some of you have already answered.

I am wearing the Holy Trainer V2 with the 45mm ring. I had the 50mm ring, but you could see so much daylight between the ring and my balls that I thought there's no way that could be a proper fit (is that incorrect?) The 45mm ring feels extremely comfortable for about 5 days, a then I get the blue balls discomfort starting day 6, then by the end of day 7 I must have a look in my eye that tells my wife it's time for pity sex.
Any recommendations on going back to the 50mm ring vs. the 45mm ring? The same problem happened with the 45mm ring, if the fix is to go smaller (40mm ring) I can't imagine actually getting myself into that, it's difficult enough fitting my junk through the 45mm ring.
I had noticed once that taking a warm shower did seem to settle it down some, but the relief seemed short-lived. I'll have to try getting some exercise in. I used to run a lot (and I mean a LOT) and I don't anymore, maybe getting back into it is a good idea.
Grizzley said the best way to combat is prevention, I'd like more info on what "prevention" is please.
So I'm far from an expert on these devices having just started, so I'm not certain it's a good fit for me. I am sleeping in it, I tried wearing boxers and boxer briefs and it's about the same for both (what do you guys recommend anyways?)
I fall into the 35-39 age bracket.
We're not doing any kind of milking or broken orgasms to relieve it, Aarkey, are there any other things that can be done to relieve it?

My wife really wants to keep me in chastity, after a few days out recently when my motivation to help out around the house wasn't where it was when caged, I think she's decided she liked being a keyholder and I'm back in, and I think she intends to be my keyholder for years to come, chastity (domme/submissive) may now be permanent lifestyle for us. I told her about my submissive feelings when I was locked up, and she told me she liked having me do things to make her happy, and she told me that we were going to live the chastity domme/sub life for at least a full year, probably longer. I have a hunch that the longer we're in it, the more she'll like it and won't want to ever go back. So lately I did start peeking at the Jailbird. A little out of my price range for now, but maybe this spring when we get our tax returns done we can splurge - I hate the smell when I get to take my cage off after 3 days. If we do decide to budget some of the custom jailbird, hopefully the custom sized device will help the blue balls as well.
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Currently wearing a Holy Trainer V2.
Formerly wore a CB6000s knockoff.
Grizzly228
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Re: pushing past the "blue balls"

Post by Grizzly228 »

By prevention I just meant not teasing as much. For me it's not so much the number of days it's how many hours have I been teased or had sex without orgasm. Ruined orgasms maybe your friend in this case. I know you said broken orgasms were not desired and trust me I don't like them either but sometimes the release eases the blue balls but if done correctly will keep you frustrated and horny if not even more so.
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Aarkey
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Re: pushing past the "blue balls"

Post by Aarkey »

I have no personal experience the Holy Trainer devices, but I have heard a lot of good things, so I suspect that the device itself is not the issue. As to the 50v45mm ring, most designers say that when you're relaxed, you should be able to slide a finger easily in between. If you can't, then it is too small.

When people are struggling with comfort, I suggest trying different things. You say you werae boxer/boxer briefs, try regular briefs while locked up. Sometimes the extra support can help, especially early on as your body isn't used to it (kinda like a watch or wedding ring at first.)

Do you use lotion or lube? Sometimes using it or not using it can be a help. Do you sit a lot? Got enough room in the front, or are you mashed in your pants while locked?
nervous newb wrote:Thanks everybody for the responses.
We're not doing any kind of milking or broken orgasms to relieve it, Aarkey, are there any other things that can be done to relieve it?
Well, the milking/broken orgasms are my only real relief that I can get. Though, just massaging my perineum, and warm baths, sometimes with Epsom salt, can help a bit too.

As similarly to Grizzly, the amount of teasing can greatly speed up my discomfort. Since you are new to this, here's an FAQ I wrote years ago which might have some helpful suggestions for you. http://www.aarkey.info/chas/

Sometimes we have to accept that the fantasy and reality don't line up as easily as we wish. When I started out, a night off here and there helped a good bit - over time that didn't matter as much to me. Either way, it sounds like you're having fun and have a very willing and happy keyholder/partner. Keep the lines of communication with her open. All women vary a bit, and making sure she's enjoying the experience is critical to keeping it going - and from the expectations and interests you list, it is clear you want that.
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TwistedMister
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Re: pushing past the "blue balls"

Post by TwistedMister »

Caged55 wrote:My KH is not into "pity sex", unfortunately, or else I would have played that card. Also with time, and a proper device it helped to over the blue ball "period", I could not go longer than a week in a CB3k...
Mrs. Twisted is also not into "pity sex", and, in fact, seems to take some delight in actually *causing* a case of 'blue balls' and laughing about it. Being somewhat of a masochist, this turns me on even more. I've gone for months in the CB3k...
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
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