Anxiety

[ConflictedKeyholder]

Hi Everyone,

As I mentioned in my intro post I am the male partner to Thrie. We are in a MMF bisexual triad, F is the more natural/inclined Dom but I have found some enjoyment out of the control aspects. Both of them say that I am a bratty Dom when I participate. He has done a fair amount of research and is usually a fairly conservative risk taker. She seems unconcerned about the safety, partially because she feels it is his risk to take and partially because of her belief that a cock can take some abuse/is already placed under pressure when erect.

The two of them decided to purchase and use a 'holy trainer 2' a couple of weeks ago. After the initial couple day lock up I was surprised by how conflicted I was regarding it. I was initially bothered by the idea that, unlike other Dom/sub interactions, he couldn't stop this at any time with a safe-word. I know that is the point but it still bothered me initially. It helped to remind myself that he can make the choice to stop the erotic game at anytime(not that he would want to) and either of us would immediately stop/unlock the device when we see him next.

I enjoyed him being in the device but had anxiety regarding the safety - primarily with sleeping in the device and damaging his ability to get erections. The anxiety spiked when it was removed (no more erotic aspect of him being in the device to me) to the point that it effected my sleep that night, a very rare event for me. I also found I disliked the aesthetic of the device; it pulls his balls down and against the cock too much for my taste. I like a more natural look to some other devices.

The anxiety was specifically that sexual teasing or activity in the device, that I was engaged in, was causing more attempts for his body to get hard and that those attempts cause damage.After the initial lock up I asked for a little time to do research into the safety before we started again. It seems that very little is available from medical research or considering the tissue/systems involved. The research I had done seems to reasonably conclude that a well fitting, occasionally worn device is of minimal risk. Based on this risk I decided to 'exercise' him out of the device daily and include that in the fun/game. It seems that it would decrease the risk and it adds to my enjoyment to use my control; so we locked him up for three days.

I really enjoyed those three days with Thrie locked up but the exact same thing happened to me; the day after he was released I had horrible anxiety that effected my sleep. I found myself still focusing on times that I engaged in sex talk or teased him in the device. I am willing to accept that Thrie can choose something that causes damage (we drink alcohol afterall) but I can't seem to get over direct activities I am doing that increase that damage.

Based on this anxiety I went back to research - mainly to find out if the damage of wearing a chastity device comes from the body not have erections or from the pressure/force of trying to get them (and the devices do cause damage, otherwise you could wear them indefinitely with no negatives). Online there are stories online of men being locked up for months safely and stories of men with permanent damage from devices. Individual stories don't seem to mean much. I also really dislike hearing stories of cock size decreasing or long term erection problems; I fully enjoy both topping and bottoming in sex with him and problems getting erections or decreases and size aren't alright with me. The possibility of Peyronie’s disease also sounds horrible and it isn't clear there are warning signs of reversible damage.

So I am finding out a ton about the mechanics of erections and trying to figure out if I can answer the question that is causing me anxiety. If the damage is primarily caused by the lack of erections I can exercise him and figure out a rough length of time we are comfortable with. If the damage is primarily caused by the body attempting to get erect then it will ruin the fun I have with it.

I don't have any answers at this point but thanks for reading the long post.

[_lj_]

There will always be scare stories on just about any activity on the internet, chastity is no exception. But take a look at this site - there are hundreds of men using chastity devices for anything from an hour's play through to permanent wearing. A regular feature of chastity is the deliberate tease/denial games, as well as many of us enjoying giving our partner pleasure whilst we are locked up (and excited) There aren't loads of reports of serious (or non-serious) physiological or anatomical effects here, which I am sure there would be if there was a issue with damage.

With a well-fitting device, erection is partial or pretty much non-existent. I would stress this as an important feature - I certainly found a straining erection in a loose and badly fitting device very uncomfortable, and I could imagine this could possibly be a long-term problem. However, I can only speak from my own experience regarding devices, my "serious" experience has been with the custom-fitted JailBird, which gently prevents erections developing, unlike the ill-fitting CB6000s and CB3000 I previously used.

I suggest the OP's anxiety is misplaced, particularly because the device is only in use for a few days.

[TwistedMister]

I have more than 15 years of experience, with lock-ups in the range of 18-24 months. Although there are a number of 'scare' stories floating around, I have not personally experienced any of the claimed horrifying issues- no erectile dysfunction and no 'damage', except with the individual and avoidable caveats I will note:

1) Main ring too tight- as a 'grower', I found that if the main ring is too small, nocturnal erection attempts can result in significant pain, bruising and abrasions. These took a week or so to heal, but there was no apparent long-term/permanent damage.

2) Main ring left on, without cage, after sexual activity and going to sleep- nocturnal erections persisted long enough to result in edema which was evident upon awakening. It looked very ugly but resolved within a couple of days. It is possible that this has resulted in a slight distortion and a propensity for further instances of edema but this is not completely certain due to an event which occurred before I discovered chastity devices, in which edema was present. Erections that are allowed to persist for too long a time can cause problems such as this, hence the advice in the ED drug commercials to seek medical attention for erections lasting more than four hours. This is avoidable by the simple precaution of NOT going to sleep with just a cock-ring on. Some say that they have done this with no ill-effects, but I would advise against it.

3) If left caged for periods exceeding a month, with no release that allows a full erection to occur, the skin may lose some elasticity. The loss of elasticity will result in subsequently allowed erections being 'tight', and the skin easily chafed. This condition is not permanent, and resolves on its own with a few days of freedom and unfettered erections. The condition can be avoided by removing the device for a few hours every week or two and allowing some full erections to occur.

4) If ejaculation frequency is significantly reduced for a long period of time, the muscle group responsible may get 'weaker', as does any muscle group which is not regularly exercised. This can result in ejaculations being less 'strong'/forceful and possibly less pleasurable. This may be avoidable with appropriate PCG muscle exercises, and/or regular 'edging' (with the subject refraining from permitting ejaculation) which may accomplish the same effect. However, over-exercising in this regard may result in over-strengthening these muscles and giving the subject the ability exert so much control that he, in essence, is capable of 'ruining' his own ejaculation/orgasm...possibly inadvertently if he does not also learn how to 'let go' and allow it to occur. (These outcomes may, in some cases, depending on the goals/desires of the subject and/or his KeyHolders, may actually be desirable, as the weakened/ruined orgasms may result in less of a 'drop' and faster recovery time after orgasm/ejaculation, causing the subject to remain 'horny' or regain a high level of 'horniness' more rapidly.)

[Tom Allen]

-- said a lot of good stuff-

Yeah, that.

[ConflictedKeyholder]

Thanks for the replies. I will see if I can comment on most of it.

There will always be scary stories about a lot of things on the internet, I agree. I don't take them too seriously because of selection bias (both ways really) that occurs online. I do look at the mechanics that would possibly cause that effect though. Like how being locked up can decrease the muscle used in ejaculation to weaken, loss of skin elasticity over time or how the corpus cavernosa tissue becomes more rigid, less elastic without use. So little information is out there on how much time this takes though but I feel reasonably comfortable setting a conservative schedule and enjoying frequent 'exercise' during lock up times.

I also don't care much about accidental damage from a poorly fitting or broken device, while an accident could be horrendous, it isn't the point of wearing a chastity device and can be mitigated fairly easily.

I have looked around on the site doing searches and looking at the main feeds. I agree that almost every post mentioning a concern or harm caused by a device seems temporary and able to be reversed by the bodies natural healing ability (though of course that does decrease slightly with age) by not being locked up and engaging in sexual activity for a time. The one judgement I have regarding this - I view it as unethical, and would personally lack respect for, a Dom that doesn't allow that repair time or fails to regain consent to keep in the play going based on the unexpected/unwanted effect.

I find the posts about the length of time someone can be locked up interesting but it seems to vary so much by person and the way it is done. (i.e if someone is let out weekly for teasing or left in the device with no break).

My anxiety is really much more focused/limited to the issue of possible increase in cumulative damage from failed erections. I know this is a large part of most people's play, and would likely show up if it occurred, but my mind has stayed fixated on it. Based on anatomy research I doubt it is a big deal - the corpus cavernosa opens up allowing blood to flow in but the external device keeps the tissue from expanding or the tunica albuginea from getting rigid. In a poorly fitting device I think the tunica albuginea could take damage (the top part of the penis is most at risk based on the bent T shape) creating plaques and peyronies disease over many years of use but I am not sure if the same risk exists for a properly fitting device that prevents rigidity. Devices that use rings to create force could potentially increase damage by not spreading the force out.

All I really need is confirmation from a urologist that I am understanding the systems properly. Obviously I overthink things but I am not generally prone to high anxiety.

[lockedsteve]

I had a few bouts of anxiety and I felt trapped. I usually get anxious when I am in situation that I am not in control of. I used to use the security screw with my Jailbird but I went back to the padlock. I have cross threaded screws before and had to drill them out. The screw also came loose after a few days and could easily be removed. I used a metal file to round the edges and corners of the padlock so it no locker stabs me or my wife. I like it better because I know it is very easy to cut off if needed but that is unlikely because I have padlocks that I have used outdoors for over 10 years that still work. I occasionally put a drop of oil in the lock.

I do not worry anymore about not being able to get free after 2 years. As a last resort I can pull my balls free with some pain but it is possible.

[Tom Allen]

Hey CKH - I'm not a doctor, but Mrs Edge and I have played with chastity devices since the late 1990s. I've doe a lot of reading - more than I care to admit - and I suspect that most of the reports of men with damage to their equipment are not reliable. It was common years ago when Yahoo groups were a thing (yes, I'm that old) to see guys writing in with stories about penis shrinkage, or not being able to get erections, or about some kind of deformity that showed up only after they tried a device.

I used to question those guys. Were they on blood thinners? Did they have blood pressure issues? Diabetes? Did they have other medical problems? Were they active? Did they remove the devices after feeling pain? Did they try different sizes or combinations of rings and spacers? Etc. Usually I got no response back, or they became ticked off that I'd question them. Doesn't prove anything, but it does make you wonder.

The most common injuries will probably be chafing, bruising, or possibly a pulled testicle (or connective tissue). Some guys develop rashes because of material allergies, or from improper or incomplete cleaning. I'm not going to say that there's no risk at all, but we drive in cars, we drink alcohol, we engage in other activities, all of which carry some inherent risk. IMO, worth what you paid for it, the risk of damage from intelligently playing with chastity devices is pretty small.

[ConflictedKeyholder]

I appreciate the responses. At this point Thrie and our female partner will be using the holy trainer 2 again and I will see how much I can engage in the play and what my emotional responses are. They seem alright with keeping a balance with me by having equal time locked up vs. out. I also have the ability to unlock him for sex or for 'exercise' whenever I want to. We will see how it goes.

[Aarkey]

I also really dislike hearing stories of cock size decreasing or long term erection problems;

Welcome to the group, it is good to have concerns, and be a caring keyholder - however I suspect you will hear from many like myself who say that the fear is unfounded. I have been around the Chastity discussion groups for a very long time - about 13 years now for me, since the days of the Yahoo CB-3000 group.

And in all those years, I know of zero legitimate claims about any long term problems caused by a chastity device. Yes, I've heard stories... they are fantasies. Much the same way as I have heard stories about men falling asleep to find out that they are... OMG!!11!1!! Locked permanently!11!!! (I'm amazed how well some people can type and masturbate at the same time.) There has never been anyone who I have ever known on the forums who reported having any long term issue from chastity play.

Now, there can be temporary size decrease from wearing it long term without being allowed out at all to "stretch" the tissue. In every report I've known (and based on personal experience) some regular time out during the experience, and being allowed a full erection prevents the issue. Or being left free for a few days after an extended period as well.

I have not heard from the men who go for years at a time about if that can cause a longer term dilemma with shrinkage, though that's because those men simply stay in and in their relationship, any concern about shrinkage is less important than continuing their chastity.

In short, there is no long term risks that I know of at all.

There are short term risks if the device is a very poor fit, or very poorly made and breaks (so short term risks like abrasions or even cuts) - but the HT2 isn't a poorly made or dangerous device that I have ever read.

[locked4her55]

I have heard stories about men falling asleep to find out that they are... OMG!!11!1!! Locked permanently!11!!! (I'm amazed how well some people can type and masturbate at the same time.)