How do I get my wife to be more vanilla?

[McAndrew]

There are a lot of topics on this board asking how you get your partner interested in chastity related activities and the answer seems to be that it's best done in very small steps.

However be warned, there is no way back.

My wife is almost always unsure about any ideas I introduce. She needs to think about it and play around with the idea for a while.
Orgasm denial she really didn't understand, because she would hate it for herself. However she then realised that she enjoyed being in control and best of all seeing me lose control on occasion.

She went from 'what the hell', to loving penis plugs, but it took a year or so. Now she wants to know why, if I'm not wearing one.
Spanking, nudism, bondage and other things, have all gone the same way. It starts out with her taking it slowly, but now I have to set the limits.

So to cages. When she first came across them in a blog, she really didn't like the idea. Then she thought I should just try one, but she saw it and said no.
Then she decided she liked the thought of me wearing one when we weren't together, but definitely not for any length of time.
Now she's decided that as I'll be on holiday abroad, five days before she arrives, it would be fun to see if I could keep it on for that long. (But that includes nights!)

Be careful what you wish for kids!

[Grizzly228]

I have often wondered this as well. Getting her to be more open to things such as tease and denial, chastity cage, and her wielding her power more is talked about a lot. But I am afraid what if it went too far. Twice I've mentioned on here before that I've had bad experiences emotionally with denial where I felt my limits were pushed beyond what I was comfortable with. I became depressed and withdrawn and irritated as well as emotional and sad. My gf didn't understand as she was doing exactly what I had asked so she became upset. We've talked about it sense and have a safe word now that if I feel I am pushed too far physically or emotionally she will stop.

Still though once down the slope it does seem to pick up speed. In a year my gf has gone from not understanding tease and denial to loving it, scared of cages to enjoying holding the key on occasion, and just this morning gave me my first task to exert her control. Well the first when we weren't together. She made me video myself stroking in my workplace bathroom. Not long but that wasn't the point. It was just for her to know she could make me do just about anything. Makes me wonder what else she will have me do since her comfort level with her power is growing. I'm enjoying it now but this streak has been hard and sometimes wonder where she will find her limit.

[LadyDs_alex]

. . .Spanking, nudism, bondage and other things, have all gone the same way. It starts out with her taking it slowly, but now I have to set the limits. . .

I know, "be careful what you wish for".

But still McAndrew -- all us guys really should have your problems!

[knighterrant]

But still McAndrew -- all us guys really should have your problems!

+1

[luckylocked]

Different strokes for different folks. In the things she likes my wife has embraced whole heartedly to the extreme usually. Things she doesn't like she will not usually come around on.
She doesn't like anal play so it never happens, where as long term denial she thinks is the only way so I can spend months locked up with no teasing out of the cage.

[McAndrew]

Well today my wife is definitely vanilla.
She tried on some perfume in a store and now stinks of the stuff.

[Michele]

McAndrew,

I'm exactly the same way with things, I need to research and let things sink in a bit. Usually at first I'm not really into it but after awhile reading and checking it out I'll be like ok let's try it... Then we either love it or don't.

[Lockedwithlove]

In a way that is nice to know that other KH's have been very bland when initially starting male chastity. I have always been the more adventurous one in our relationship so I'm willing to try just about anything she throws at me. My KH is getting into it little by little and I start to see her enjoying her control. She's not hardcore about long term lockup or orgasm control but I would gladly give up full orgasms for a year if she decided she wanted to play a little harder such as anal play etc...