Calming down

Living the real life under lock and key
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Newknight
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 06, 2015 2:37 am

Calming down

Post by Newknight »

After months of wearing the holy trainer, my wife and I are finished with cages. Cleaning, hygiene, waking up at night with pain because of erections (I am 7 1/4 inches) and we have tried 3 devices, we are putting an end to wearing a device. However, in no way are we done with chastity. I am strong enough and committed enough to not masturbate. I love the feeling of being revved up so much my wife has told me if I get "out of sorts" I will be given an orgasm with no sexual buildup at all. :shock: did I just say that?

That being said, what are some of the techniques. People are using when the wife or key holder has had their sexual fill for the time being? I get pesty and want to keep going. I hate that but she is irresistible at that point. Once I am away and back at work I am a focused and happy human being. Usually she just says "I'm done babe" and the struggle to calm down begins.

Any ideas? Besides putting the cage back on. I am looking for ways to dampen the sexual fire of desire.

Thank you in advance. Let's keep chastity going and see how well we can treat our key holders outside the Bedroom as well as in. Both are equally important.
NewKnight
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knighterrant
Posts: 106
Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2015 4:16 pm
Location: North Carolina

Re: Calming down

Post by knighterrant »

Take a freezing cold shower and rush out to buy her flowers ;)
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anominus
Posts: 32
Joined: Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:40 am

Re: Calming down

Post by anominus »

Previous discussion on the same subject: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=60586&start=0
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diogenhc
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2014 4:03 pm

Re: Calming down

Post by diogenhc »

Work on your income taxes.

Start adding saltpeter to your food.

Memorize the Book of Numbers.

Google "Blue Waffle".
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Gwyidion
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2015 6:23 pm

Re: Calming down

Post by Gwyidion »

I'm interpreting your post as how to calm down 'in the heat of the moment' - i.e., immediately after your wife has had her orgasm(s).

This was a problem for us as well (especially as my denial time stretches past 20, 30, 40 days).

The problem is most succinctly put, I get pushy. needy. "pesty" is good. Don't want to, because it takes away from her enjoyment, but I do anyway.2

We've combated this in a few ways. What works for you and your wife will of course, depend on the flavors of your relationship.

Often, lately, my wife prefers to have me blind-folded and gagged during lovemaking. She says it helps her feel more free to express herself. This solves the problem, as I can't see anything, or speak. Makes it difficult to express displeasure and/or need. Combined with an edict to keep my hands in a certain place, it works.

The solution we use all other times is what is basically a 'time out' position. Kneeling, hands behind back, forehead on the floor, bed, whatever. Silence until I'm calm (it can take a while). Bonus points for being a very submissive position.

I think there are several keys, towards dealing with that moment of pushy-ness:
have a plan of what happens
make it very simple
try new things until you find something that works


Good luck with the cage-free thing.
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nervous newb
Posts: 73
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2015 8:06 pm

Re: Calming down

Post by nervous newb »

This topic interests me too. I'm in a cb6000s knockoff. We've only been trying chastity for about 2 weeks now. What started as kinky fun turned into my confession of an addiction to chronic masturbation, and now I'm locked 24/7 unless the wife wants action. She's not into orgasm denial, but we've been discussing the concept of how do we tell if I'm pestering her to make love our if I'm pestering her to have an orgasm as a substitute for masturbation (still addicted to the orgasm.) I get so worked up after just 2 or 3 days from the last orgasm that I get a wicked case of blue balls and I pester the daylights out of her. She doesn't mind the attention, but we're wondering if my body will eventually stop getting blue balls and adapt to the device.
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Currently wearing a Holy Trainer V2.
Formerly wore a CB6000s knockoff.
Grizzly228
Posts: 204
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:06 am

Re: Calming down

Post by Grizzly228 »

This is harder than actually being denied. When we orgasm our body is given the okay to calm down and we are flooded with all sorts of chemicals. Without orgasm and with our bodies and minds rearing to go it can be extremely difficult to physically calm down even when we know we aren't going to cum. Many times I cannot sleep well after. I basically have two words of advice; exhaust yourself. Put all your energy into pleasing her and having sex as long as possible until you physically cannot go on any longer. This is my best option and it often works though I do tend to wake up shorter after and feel agitated again. My second idea which may not be for everyone since I have anxiety disorder which can be triggered during these sessions, generic Xanax. I have a small prescription for .25 or .5 Mgs. When I truly feel my physical anxiety is way too high and not gonna waver and will affect my quality of life or sleep I can take a pill or half pill to take the edge off. Again I DO NOT recommend this if you do not already have a prescription or anxiety disorder. But it helps me sleep

Overall, try to mentally accept the denial and enjoy the process not the desired end result which isn't happening (orgasm), take enjoyment in her orgasm and cuddle and suckle at her breast as she recovers, and physically exhaust yourself so you will essentially pass out after.
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CagedWestley
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2015 12:22 pm

Re: Calming down

Post by CagedWestley »

Text removed.
Last edited by CagedWestley on Wed Mar 30, 2016 10:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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nervous newb
Posts: 73
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2015 8:06 pm

Re: Calming down

Post by nervous newb »

Denial is something new to my KH and me. Well, chastity is too. So we're still in a discovery phase. Last night she was all ready to have sex and we were both going to have orgasms, but when the cage was off, we're in bed, and she's got her hand down my pants, she changed her mind because she started to run out of steam and wanted to just go to sleep (it had been an exhausting day.) I'd been telling her it was ok for her to change her mind, that she shouldn't feel guilty under any circumstances if I don't get to have an orgasm, and she should never feel obligated to give me an orgasm (like I said, we're new to chastity, I had used guilt and obligation through the course of our marriage to get her to have sex with me, so changing the mindset takes time.) So she asked what the best way to stop was. Just pull her hand out and push me away and tell me to stuff it back in the cage? I said that a gentle letdown might be nice, so she rubbed and gently scratched my back to relax me - it's something I've always loved. After a few minutes, she asked if there was anything else I needed to get relaxed enough to get back in the cage. I interpreted this as "it's time for you to get that cage back on so I can go to sleep." This was our first real tease/denial even though neither of us had any intention of it being that, it just turned out that way, and I really appreciated that she let me down gently and rubbed my back like that to help me settle down. It made it a lot easier for me to get back in the cage.
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Currently wearing a Holy Trainer V2.
Formerly wore a CB6000s knockoff.
DLsKnight
Posts: 37
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:27 pm

Re: Calming down

Post by DLsKnight »

When my wife has had her orgasm, we "couple" as we call it, I remain in her but remain still. She strokes my face and head and holds me. Mentally I go to a blissful place having so enjoyed her orgasm. We remain like this for around 15-20 minutes and then she calls me back and tells me it is time to get up. In learning to place her pleasure ahead of my own and enjoying her orgasm, I have for me a more intense experience. Better and longer lasting than the orgasms I used to have.
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