small steps and "chastity lite"

[Curry]

Hey now folks

So, we had another discussion the other day in the car. Previously, she said she didn't want to see the HT "at this time" and so I didn't push. I opened the conversation a bit tentatively, but it went well. After explaining things and stopping to ask opinions and for thoughts, we finished up with "I think I can get behind this sort of kink". So, that's cool.

We are going to do a little test starting the other night. We call it chastity lite, as there is no cage (she's not ready for that) and it will be short times. We laid out some ground rules, such as:
I prefer to keep the denial at a week or less for now, but it's up to her
we are on the honor system, and if i'm having issues, I'll tell her
no topping from the bottom, so to speak...she is in charge and her word is final. that goes for me coming before i'd like to, as well. if she wants it, no arguments, I come for her.
she will decide the time. I don't get to know when the "release" day is. that way, there are no expectations or disappointments if life gets in the way of play. we've had problems with this in the past with "kinky day" coming and going with no playtime, so we want to avoid that.
we promise to talk about what's going on and how we feel about it.

Anyhow, I'm excited! This looks like a good start to me. We will see where it goes...

[Forherdesire]

Congrats on the conversation and your fun with the misses. We are kinda in chastity lite right now as well because we want to make sure the device fits and stays comfortable. Good luck with everything.

[locked4her55]

Sounds like a very responsible way to proceed. I wish you luck.

[McAndrew]

'Chastity Lite' evolved with my wife for years before I even knew that cages existed.

It started with a porn video, where the man was instructed that he strictly only came when he was told to. This idea she took to and as a result I never know how a session was going to finish. Often when I do cum it's not because I'm told to, but she does things that make me lose control, so that I can be punished.
She's also recently discovered ruined orgasms, as a way of surprising me when I think things are going well.

Introducing things a 'just a bit of fun' has been the way forward.
It started with a cheap glans ring, which was well received and she then bought me a custom made glans ring and plug. This I wear a lot of the time and is partly to constrain me, as it isn't possible to get a full erection wearing it.

Then I found out about cages, which she didn't like. The glans ring passes as jewelry, but these were too intimidating. However after about a year thinking about it, she decided that it would be quite cool if I wore one, when she wasn't around.
She knows it's there. She like the idea of control, but she doesn't have to include it in intimacy.

So that's the current status. Chastity Lite. I wear a cage most days. It comes off for when we are together, but she still totally controls my orgasms.

Having said that I tend to introduce things, in five weeks time I'm on holiday for six days before she arrives and she's mentioned me being caged until she arrives. I think this time she's moved ahead of what I'm comfortable with.

[nebman]

Having said that I tend to introduce things, in five weeks time I'm on holiday for six days before she arrives and she's mentioned me being caged until she arrives. I think this time she's moved ahead of what I'm comfortable with.

I think that it is great is some ways when our partners get ahead of us. A perfect reminder of what their feelings are like when we get ahead of them. And, after the shock of whatever they've suggested wears off, it can be rather exciting when you put an open mind to it.

[Curry]

We talked again yesterday. It's only been 3 days, and she was wondering if I was ok (ha! such a sweet lady to be so concerned)

She is having surgery tomorrow, and will be out for 7-10 days, and we decided that I'd go without for the duration. She thinks it will be tough, and I agree, but I think it will be fun. I can't remember the last time I went over a week without coming.

Anyhow, since she's going to be incapacitated and I'll be going what's to us a long time, she made me come last night and she plans to have kinky time before I go to work. Feast before the famine, I suppose.

Here we go!

[Chrome]

It's always nice to read when life goes well . I can say I'm quite in same situation with you Curry.

I introduced the idea some time ago to my wife, she was a bit interested and we decided to continue discussion later. Well, I made a mistake of pushing her to "investigating" alone, by sending her a link telling orgasm control in our native language. While she read it, she got scared if I wanted to do this as lifestyle, cages and if I really would only think sex, when she denies my orgasm...(Ok, I learned: Never let someone to study alone, what you hope.)

Long story short, we had now a weekend with time for only us 2 and she wanted to try "chastity lite" also with no "has to". No time, when I can come, or how we have to play. And she was also worried, if it will be too much for me. And I was happy to have it this way , as I was scared she would feel forced, if we have agreed time etc.

After this week, I think both of us have been enjoying the time and she really has been enjoying all the back rubs and orgasms. She seems to be really turned on by the idea of teasing me with sex and making me horny as ... You know.

I hope everything goes smoothly with your wife's surgery and you two get to play again .

[Curry]

Right on, man. Glad you two are also finding your way. Thank you.

[tammystoy]

Curry, you are going about this exactly right. Chastity has been a part of three of my long-term relationships, including my current marriage, and every time we eased into it. The idea of locking your cock in a cage and tossing the key to your partner, who is then supposed to turn into some sort of playfully evil teasing vixen, is pure fantasy. Our partners have their own fantasies, kinks, needs, and hang ups and we need to respect that. Sounds like you're off to a great start.

[Curry]

Man yeah. Got to ease into it. We've been together long enough for me to know to do that. Plenty of trial and error there.