Is It Ok For the Keyholder to Masturbate?

[katieandchaste]

Some time ago I wrote a post for my blog on the issue of Keyholder masturbation and have received mostly positive responses.
You can see the post here: http://mychastehubby.blogspot.com/2015/ ... -cant.html

Some thought it grossly unfair that I would cage my husband but freely masturbate myself.
Surprisingly most who were upset were the Keyholder. I never do it in secret making sure my hubby knows every time. Do you think it is wrong?

[mellyshubby]

Probably my most exciting moment was when my wife pleasured herself in front of me, while I was caged up. She did not bring herself to orgasm, and she hasn't done it again. She read your post about this and told me that she will try it again.

Thank you for your contributions.

[EDAS]

Of course it is okay for the female key holder to masturbate while the man, her man, is in chastity. It is even to be recommended. What's more it is good that she do it in full view of him in order to make the tease even worse or rather even better. And if the woman is multi-orgasmic, she should have as many orgasms while masturbating to that the man is teased to the hilt.

And of course the woman should enjoy her pleasure with as much abandon as possible. She should revel in it -- totally!

[EDAS]

And by the way, I am a man. I am not caged, but I do refrain from coming when I masturbate and when I fuck my wife. I always stop before coming. But my wife can have as many orgasms as she wants (when we fuck). However, she does not masturbate in front of me. I wish she did. She does not even masturbate in secret, at least as far as I know.

[TwistedMister]

Some time ago I wrote a post for my blog on the issue of Keyholder masturbation...Some thought it grossly unfair that I would cage my husband but freely masturbate myself...I never do it in secret making sure my hubby knows every time. Do you think it is wrong?

While there are a number of things in your blog that I don't agree with, this is not one of them. Mrs. Twisted pleasures herself with and without me. I don't know if there have been times when she hasn't told me, but I don't think it is strictly necessary that she does...it is, however, much 'hotter' if she *does* tell me.

In my opinion, one of the kicks of the kink is exactly the fact that the KeyHolder is free to receive pleasure or to pleasure herself while the locked one is restricted/prevented from doing so, and it is the disparity of the two situations that makes it erotic. Those who think it 'unfair' obviously do not grok the concept.

[carolina cyclist]

I so wish MrsL would masturbate, in my presence or not, as it would be so incredibly hot and frustrating. But, alas, her religious upbringing still prohibits her from relaxing enough to masturbate.

She has read through most of your blog, Ms. Katie, including this particular post and still stuggles with self pleasuring. She has long since accepted and actively participates in my kinks. She has become quite the awesome KH...just can't get past the nuns beating in to her head that masturbation was sinful.

[Locked by LRC]

I think the problem with the woman masturbating is a long time male dominated society deciding what a woman can and can't do or enjoy sexually. Men have decided it's okay for them to masturbate, but in order for the woman to have any sexual pleasure it must involve a man.

Maybe this is because men feel intimidated and or jealous of the fact that women are multi-orgasmic, instead of one and done like a man. I feel because a woman is multi-orgasmic they should enjoy it whenever they want.

In the realm of Keyholder/chastity many men want their orgasms controlled because they feel they're masturbating too much. They are the one's that normally approach their mate to request it. It's something they want. I can't remember ever reading about any man that's requested chastity that's asked their mate to abstain also. It's usually quite the opposite. They are telling their mate that they want them to have more orgasms.

Perhaps the men that thought negatively of your post had insecurities and your post struck a chord in them. They felt they weren't satisfying their mates and with them masturbating it was proof. I'm sure these same men would tell you it was okay for them to do it. It's a double standard that some men have.

If it was women that thought negatively it may be because they are believers in what the male dominated society has told them, women don't masturbate. When we first started chastity that's what LRC told me. It was wrong and her mother had told her that if she never really enjoyed sex it was okay. Sex was to only please the man.

It took months before LRC masturbated the first time. Even when she did, she felt bad because I didn't orgasm and had to take the cage off to satisfy me, even after I kept telling her she didn't need to. She felt because she'd been pleasured, I had to also be pleasured. This ingrained thought, "her pleasure had to lead to my pleasure", was the hardest thing for her to overcome with chastity.

It sounds to me that a majority of your replies were positive. Accept these and don't worry about the few negatives. As with anything alternative to the societal norm, there will always be detractors.

[Grizzly228]

I would love it if she did and if she told me about it or let me watch. I've told her before, and she said she would but so far she hasn't. Often she says I take care of her so much she doesn't need to masterbate anymore. This of course was said while I was in the middle of one of my longest periods of denial. It hit me with a sense of satisfaction and envy. She's going through some personal stuff now so we haven't been seeing each other much. But hopefully soon the games will begin again. I miss it

[locked4her55]

I was pretty selfish for the first 20 years of marriage where I would take care of myself whenever the urge arose. Many of those 20 years when she desired sex I was spent. Not very fair for her so at this stage I am fully on board with her doing whatever it takes to achieve an orgasm (if that's what she wants).

I absolutely agree with many here that it would be totally hot and frustrating for me if she did it and didn't allow me to participate, but it's up to her.

[TwistedMister]

...her mother had told her that if she never really enjoyed sex it was okay. Sex was to only please the man.

I'm glad I was never under any delusions about women not needing to enjoy sex, or any of the women I've been with.

...she felt bad because I didn't orgasm and had to take the cage off to satisfy me, even after I kept telling her she didn't need to. She felt because she'd been pleasured, I had to also be pleasured. This ingrained thought, "her pleasure had to lead to my pleasure", was the hardest thing for her to overcome with chastity.

Even for as many years as we've been doing this, Mrs. Twisted has, until only recently, apparently been having some struggles with this too. I wasn't aware of it, I thought that she fully understood the concept...until she made a casual comment a few weeks ago that clued me in that she didn't. I subsequently explained to her what a massive 'turn-on' it was to watch her enjoying being pleasured, while being locked and knowing that I couldn't and wouldn't be receiving the same.

Fortunately(?), if this past Saturday night was anything to judge by, she has now fully embraced it and is quite thoroughly enjoying herself. It would seem that this revelation has also decreased her inhibitions in another area, allowing her to [finally] consciously recognize and accept her arousal at another concept, and to enjoy the thoughts of the pleasure she would get from it.

I was pretty selfish for the first 20 years of marriage where I would take care of myself whenever the urge arose. Many of those 20 years when she desired sex I was spent.

Yeah, there have been periods of time (especially when we worked opposite shifts, or had other things going on) when it was just 'easier' to 'take care of myself' and move on to other things. Of course, then there would be the times when she would get 'amorous' and there would have been time to go with it, but I had already satisfied my urge. I would get angry, then she would get angry (and hurt) and next thing you know, we're fighting. 'Enforced chastity' chucks that right out the window.