The big chastity poll.

[Len51]

Does it count as BDSM if your partner doesn't think it is? My wife thinks she's vanilla.

Same with my wife. She even thought she was vanilla when she was having sex with women and engaged in some of the more esoteric fetishes. I asked her after 42 years if she thought of herself as bisexual and she replied that she never thought about it. I think she needs to think of herself that way because of the generation we were brought up in. Plus since she never suggests anything kinky, she feels that I am the kinky one and she is just a vanilla wife pleasing her man.

[Happily caged]

I selected not listed here. I had considered humiliation since I'll be going through airport security in may with my Jailbird on but that's not intentional humiliation as such but rather since it would be too much of a hassle for her to send me the keys to the box and I'm in no mood to break the box to access the keys to the cage. So humiliation yes, but not forced.

Controlled masturbation? Though she would dislike it if I did, I'm not really into that anyway, so it's more me than her who is controlling this.

Orgasm control? Technically she does not prohibit me from getting an orgasm, just no masturbation (which is at least as much my choice as it is hers so it doesn't really count for the poll), and no PIV sex except during her time of the month. That said, she unlocks me during cunnilingus since she wants me to be comfortable. And though it has not happened in a long time, there has been the occasion when we were on the honour system when I experienced spontaneous ejaculation. I guess in practical terms, it equates to control of intentional orgasms except during her time of the month. I guess I could have selected that, but again, it's not like she'd punish me for getting a spontaneous orgasm.

Female-dominated relationship? Hard to say. Equal for the most part. Maybe somewhat? I didn't select it for the poll, but maybe, but if so, then very moderately so.

Dominant/submissive? Maybe a bit of that if I really try hard to identify it, like giving cunnilingus, helping with household chores, etc., but nothing remotely near a BDSM sense of it.

So pretty vanilla here overall. Fetishistically, we once engaged in waterworks, but again, nothing remotely in a BDSM sense.

[locked4her55]

she unlocks me during cunnilingus since she wants me to be comfortable.

Really? Seldom am I ever released.

My wife enjoys my discomfort, so long as it doesn't interfere with her being pleasured.

I have to admit there was once where she squeezed my swollen balls with her fingernails so hard that she drew blood. Now that's discomfort.

[doctor_h]

7 of 10 here. No forced bi or cuckholding. Only thing I can think of not on list is sissyfication and we do not do that.

Rest are fair game but panties have only been as form of punishment.

[Happily caged]

she unlocks me during cunnilingus since she wants me to be comfortable.

Really? Seldom am I ever released.

My wife enjoys my discomfort, so long as it doesn't interfere with her being pleasured.

I have to admit there was once where she squeezed my swollen balls with her fingernails so hard that she drew blood. Now that's discomfort.

Ouch. She couldn't stand the thought of an erect penis in a cage, let alone the sight of it. She even encouraged me to pull the penis out at night if it's more comfortable.

That said though, I'm not sure what's been going on lately. We were chatting a few nights ago and she was seriously joking about spanking and hitting me. I'll have to ask her what she'd been reading lately. Can't wait to see her in May.

[locked4her55]

She couldn't stand the thought of an erect penis in a cage

who said anything about "an erect penis in a cage"?

My cage is so restrictive that it's never an issue.

As I've posted before, she likes to stifle the stiffy.

[TwistedMister]

OK, so, I checked of 8 of 10. We don't do panties/cross-dressing/fem- it doesn't do anything for me, erotically speaking, though it isn't strictly forbidden either...with the exception of drugs/hormones or publicly visible play of this sort. Even though it doesn't "do it" for me, it isn't off the table either- if Mrs. Twisted thought it would be a hoot to have me in panties, or dress me in a 'french maid' get-up there is no limit against it. I like to think I'm an 'equal opportunity' kinkster, and it isn't all about me. I did once have a dream where my brain/mind was put into a hot chick's body and I was treated like a fuck-doll/slut, and it caused me to wonder what it would be like to have tits, but I wouldn't really want to be female permanently and dressing up in women's clothing [and hanging around in bars]*** doesn't give me a stiffy.

***(Monty Python reference, for those that didn't get that.)

We also don't do "FLR"- 'Mistress/slave' is in play but it only applies to sexual/fetish activities and certain 'personal services'. Doing all of the dishes/laundry/cooking/cleaning while she doesn't lift a finger isn't part of the deal. Although, now that I think about it, I *do* do most of the cooking (I'm better at it than she is), and I started doing my own laundry when I was living on my own at the age of 15...so when I went into the Army at 17 I was ahead of most of the guys, except for that embarrassing lesson where I learned that you don't put new, red long-johns into the same wash as your white t-shirts and skivvies .

Sexually speaking, mostly my 'limits' encompass only those things that I absolutely don't want to do because I get too squicked at the thought (kissing/rimming other guys and some other stuff), piercing/cutting/blood/branding/tattoos, or other things that are too dangerous (in my mind). Nearly everything else, from "A" to "Z" (inclusive) is on the table for 'forced participation'. This leaves open numerous possibilities of things that I don't 'want' to do, and would not willingly do, but the thought of being *forced* to do them pushes my buttons.

I checked off 'cuckold' and 'forced bi' even though that has only been 'simulated'...and I find it rather humiliating to be sporting a stiffie while my wife is talking about fucking 'boyfriends' and making me lick her pussy after, or pushing a very realistic dildo in my mouth and telling me that I am sucking her juices off her 'boyfriend'...especially later.

BDSM- absolutely, I consider the CD itself to be a form of bondage, plus there's the tying up/handcuffs, cock-slapping, ball-slapping, face-sitting, etc.

Of course, I checked off 'humiliation', because that covers a lot of things, especially when combined with 'other' (that aren't specifically listed) such as GS/'Watersports'/toilet...actually, I think that 'humiliation' covers just about everything (especially when I'm not all 'horned-up') *because* of being so 'turned-on' by it all...