A Little Older & A Little Humbler

Living the real life under lock and key
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michaelnmelissa
Posts: 300
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:00 am
Location: Southern USA

A Little Older & A Little Humbler

Post by michaelnmelissa » Wed Feb 18, 2015 1:30 pm

Hi,

I haven't been here in awhile. I didn't see a reason as I haven't been in chastity for some time.

Melissa and I have had some difficult times. This past year especially I wasn't sure if we'd make it. Family problems, as usual. And then trying to balance work, school, and the home between the two of us. And we're still - surprisingly - dealing with coming out of religion and my being in ministry. We're still feeling the aftershocks of that three years out.

Our sex life hit rock bottom. We made love maybe once every six weeks. Sometimes two months. When we did I just wanted her to come so it could stop. Slowly, very slowly, it got a little better.

We talked. We admitted we'd been happiest when practicing male chastity. We admitted we fought much less when she led us.

We missed the us that was us then.

We know it's not a cure-all. We're taking it slowly.

Good to be back.

Peace and love,
Michael
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wishful4
Posts: 949
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:15 pm
Location: SE USA

Re: A Little Older & A Little Humbler

Post by wishful4 » Wed Feb 18, 2015 5:53 pm

Michael, so happy to have you back. Your perspective has been missed. Sorry you have been going through some rough times and hope things get better soon. I agree totally with you about things being at their best when practicing male chastity. You said in one of your posts many moons ago that you were amazed at the effect such a small chunk of metal could have on a couples relationship. It's unbelievable how prophetic that statement has been for so many of us over the years. Good to see you back, my friend!!
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Wishful4
Current Device: DhGate S671 (A271)
Previous devices: CB 6000s, CB 6000, MM Queen's Keep (2)MM Jailbird

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Lady M
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Re: A Little Older & A Little Humbler

Post by Lady M » Wed Feb 18, 2015 11:59 pm

Sorry to hear about the rough times! Cagedmonkey and I went through some rough years and after fixing up all that we found this wonderful world of chastity and don't see us leaving it... ever!

Welcome back! :)
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Lady: Wife & Keyholder to cagedmonkey who is locked 24/7
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Len51
Posts: 297
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2014 2:04 pm

Re: A Little Older & A Little Humbler

Post by Len51 » Thu Feb 19, 2015 1:31 pm

Chastity came to the rescue in our sex life too. Although we did not have any serious marital problems despite living in a polyfidelity triad, once that ended my wife and I had no idea of a sex life as a couple. We both retreated into masturbation. Both of us missed our shared girlfriend because she did the few things that my wife and I did not do for each other. She was my cruel mistress when I needed that and was the soft and romantic lover that my wife liked who would talk for an hour before they even started sex. As a result we both retreated into masturbation, sometimes while laying next to each other.

I was determined to fix this and asked my wife to try Teasing and Denial. She just fell in love with it. She got to control our sex life and what kind of sex we had. I got an element of sexual domination that I was missing. It was a win-win for both of us. T&D turned into long term chastity as my wife hates how I get after I have an orgasm. In the past it was not a problem because I was always having orgasms so there was no long periods of time between them.

Funny thing is that our alternate poly lifestyle was problem free. Only when we entered a traditional marriage, did things start to deteriorate. Intimacy almost disappeared and our feelings about our missing lover of 38 years got in the way of us as a couple. Happy to say that chastity has fixed all that and we are enjoying it as much as any other fetish we tried.

Communication and the willingness to make it work is of prime importance. I firmly believe that maintaining a high level of intimacy is key to a good marriage. Sex releases hormones that emotionally bond couples together so the more sex you have, the more you bond. We have a rule that provides for a minimum of two sex nights a week no matter what. Even if we do not have sex, we still hold each other but most times we end getting turned on and having sex. Only difference is that the most I can expect is a ruined orgasm once in a while.

I am glad that things are working out for you. I am married for over 40 years and have always found a way to make it work and keep the sexual/intimacy spark going. Every day through words or actions, I show my wife that I desire her and feel she is beautiful. I brush aside her comment about wrinkles and old age and tell her that I still see the young girl I married. I make her feel sexually wanted each and every day. It works for us.
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"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

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locked4her55
Posts: 2070
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:23 pm
Location: Massachusetts, USA
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Re: A Little Older & A Little Humbler

Post by locked4her55 » Thu Feb 19, 2015 5:30 pm

Hey Michael, Nice to hear from you. You were always a great contributor to the CF.

Hope things work out for you and Melissa.

Chastity certainly has helped make our wonderful marriage of almost 25 years even better.
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Happily secured since 4/2010 :-)
Have worn CB3000, CB6000s, MM Jail Bird & Watchful Mistress,
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