wife not enough dominant

[kunst]

After playing chastity for a few months applying strict rules that I suggested and my wife accepted (see my other posts, anyway in summary I could come about once every 7-10 days), starting from new year my wife accepted to be totally in charge without any predefined rule.
However, I am not sure this is better. Now, what happens is this: we have PIV quite often, and she lets me cum every about 3 days. For me this it too frequent, I would prefer to be denied much more, but my understanding is that her reasons are:
- if I get frequent release I am not too horny therefore we can have VEEEERY long PIV sessions!
- I do not beg for cumming continuosly.... becase I am not too horny
- she does not feel obliged to do some tease and denial (she is a extemely lazy with this thing... stroking the cock is boring...)
I like PIV of course, but I am missing all the exciting part of teasing and denial.
I tried to explain that if I do not orgasm I will become more servant, but my wife is not very interested in this aspect... maybe I am too good normally, I do not know.

Now, the "agreement" is that this will last till the end of January and then we will reconsider what to do next month.

I have the feeling that my wife is very passive in this: she is open to any sex game including chastity, but she accepts whatever I propose: if I propose the rules, she will accept them.
If she has to be in charge, she does not care about being in a dominant position. For her being in charge means getting some sex, and avoid getting tired by stroking my cock. I tried to convince her to have more sex in general, more teasing, but less orgasms for me, but she does not show much interest.
I do not know, maybe I am lucky, because if I propose a rule where I cannot cum for 15 or 20 days whe will accept it (and then there is NO WAY I can cum), but that is something that I proposed, and she does not have an active role in this (except strictly applying the rule).
Anyone experiencing similar situation?

[Tame Lion]

The idea of enforced chastity is that you surrender sexual control. You seem to want to call the shots and then have her act out your fantasy. Why not let her continue to run things and be a good boy and accept what she decides to do?

[Happily caged]

Another option is to turn the tables on her. You take the keys back and then you decide when to unlock yourself. See how long it takes before she starts begging for your release.

[Michele]

Sounds like she might benefit from some tools on how to be a keyholder... or that is just how she wants to do it. If you asked her to be in charge, then you have to accept it.

We have found that a good ruined O helps with getting hubby to give me longer piv when we have it and he goes much longer denied this way.

Have you thought about Ivey Greens Keyholder books? Tips and tricks

[kunst]

Another option is to turn the tables on her. You take the keys back and then you decide when to unlock yourself. See how long it takes before she starts begging for your release.

Sorry, I am not native English speaker and I really do not get it . Could you please exlpain in other words?

[nebman]

My wife sort of indulges me, and after a party last week and a few drinks, she inadvertently gave me a terrific tease and deny session, even a rare face sitting to lick her out! So good, I was hard in the device like a night erection - I actually had to press the issue just a bit to get it off!

So, I feel lucky. We haven't had much day-to-day play, and I have no idea where this will go. A lot of guys might think you are actually getting a pretty good reception from your wife. You may simply be pushing too hard, too fast, and that could well backfire on you. Enjoy the positives, and let the situation evolve. I think the whole reduced orgasms / more subservient thing is not an automatic sale to most women - sometimes they also want a man to take them in bed. In this game, if you not doing her wishes, you may be topping from the bottom.

[tj246]

my wife is not per say dominant
just holds the keys an i am lock full time once in blue moon i am let out for shaving cleaning but lock up again
i am in panties i do house work an outside work
so she is dom in some respect but not like ohters

[TwistedMister]

I have the feeling that my wife is very passive in this: she is open to any sex game including chastity, but she accepts whatever I propose: if I propose the rules, she will accept them...I do not know, maybe I am lucky, because if I propose a rule where I cannot cum for 15 or 20 days whe will accept it (and then there is NO WAY I can cum), but that is something that I proposed, and she does not have an active role in this (except strictly applying the rule).
Anyone experiencing similar situation?

I know that there are/will be some who disagree with me, but I don't see any harm in doing it this way for a while. It gives you [both] a chance to see what you like and how much you like it. And if your wife will 'accept' a 'rule' and hold to it strictly, so much the better. It could be that she isn't (or doesn't feel) very creative, and/or isn't sure what she wants/likes. If it works for you, go for it, it may be that it might work for her, too...especially if you get into the habit of telling her how much it turns you on...

I think that one of the reasons that Mrs. Twisted enjoys it is because she knows that it turns me on, and she gets turned on by knowing that she is turning *me* on. Many years ago this may have been one of the primary factors in her interest, but as time went on she discovered that she enjoyed it for reasons of her own, which increased her interest and desire. She has since come to accept that it is "OK" for her to enjoy it for her own reasons and to incorporate her own interests and fantasies (and make some of those fantasies become reality).

Consider your proposing of 'rules' and her adhering to them as a learning experience that can help both of you to discover what you each enjoy. Eventually, as she becomes more comfortable and gains knowledge of what she likes, she may begin to incorporate her own ideas, perhaps at your suggestion, or without it. Communication and discussion, before, during, and after sessions and scenes can go a long way toward helping to sort out feelings, likes and dislikes.

Although lately there seems to have been an increase in posts that display a tone or flavor of there being only one 'right' way to play, it isn't so. We all have different likes and dislikes, some things work for some people but not for others. You and your wife are unique individuals, and what works for others may not work for you, and what works for you may not work for others. Don't worry about it. Do what works for you...and what works for you *now* may change into something different later...and that's "OK" too.

[nebman]

I think that one of the reasons that Mrs. Twisted enjoys it is because she knows that it turns me on, and she gets turned on by knowing that she is turning *me* on.

Do what works for you...and what works for you *now* may change into something different later...and that's "OK" too.

I really like both of these lines. My wife has said in so many words that she she likes turning me on, and that it turns her on. Kind of like why so many of us like eating out our women, giving someone a powerful orgasm gives me a powerful turn on.

Yes, over 20 years, the things we do changes, and the list of things we've tried has recently expanded to what I'm wearing between my legs. A few things have not worked well, and we've moved on.

[locked4her55]

Although lately there seems to have been an increase in posts that display a tone or flavor of there being only one 'right' way to play, it isn't so. We all have different likes and dislikes, some things work for some people but not for others.

I have also noted this and I agree that some here have take the posture that "their way is the only way".

It's why I like to "suggest" or, "this is how we do it". What ever happened to IMO.

Heck, I've been pretty much locked full time since april 2010 and in no way do I have all the answers.