No Cage - Alternative Idea

[mishuno]

Hello all,

New to the forum as well as chastity. First post.

My wife and I started this journey 7 weeks ago and it has been wonderful. Truly life changing. It was I who approached my wife with the idea, she agreed to give it a go and off we went.

By the honor system I went the first 5 weeks of the 7 without an orgasm. She then gave me release on the evening of the day exactly 5 weeks after we started. I am now in my second week of chastity and she figure's it will be another 3 to 4 weeks before my next release. I am enjoying it immensly.

The issue that I am bringing forth here on this forum in order to hopefully get same sage advice is the fact that my wife does not like the chastity cages. She does not like the way they look at all, she finds them a turn off. She also has made it clear that she likes to feel my erection pressing against her at night, she thinks feeling the plastic or metal of a cage will also be a turn off. She also wants to be able to play with "her" penis whenever she wants and is not keen on having to worry about taking the cage off every time that urge some to her. She likes to see "her" penis hanging, not as she says "all bunched up and mushed".

I on the other hand REALLY want one. Not for the fact that I may cheat and masturbate, I am wholly committed to honoring her in this endeavor as well as myself. Cheating on her would also mean cheating on myself. We are in this together. I love being chaste and really do not want to orgasm often. I love the feeling of always being aroused. What I find myself wanting it for is the physiological need of it. I want to have some physical reminder that she is in charge. I find the idea of being locked up very erotic. I also would like to restrict the physical sensations I get when "her" penis rubs against the sheets at night or in my pants when erect. But alas it may take quite some time for this to change. She has let me know that she may be open to a device in the future but that may be quite a ways off. For now baby steps.

So I have suggested that I wear a stainless steel cock ring in the meantime as an outward physical sign of my devotion to her. A physiological reminder to myself as well of her role in our lives now as the dominant one when it comes to our sensual and sexual lives. The feel of it weighing on me all day would be a constant reminder to me of her. I think it would give me some of the physiological need that I crave.

She is open to this idea but has some concerns first. Our worry is prolonged wearing of one is not good for my health. I would get one that would be slightly loose fitting so that the blood flow was not restricted. We would be using this as a symbol and not as a cock ring is intended to be used so it would not be so tight as to restrict blood whether I was erect or not.

Has anyone had some experience with this?

Also, anyone else out there with a wife not into using a cage? And/or did your wife ever come around and warm up to the idea? If not, has the honor system worked for you?

Thanks for any insights, suggestions and wisdom!

[Happily caged]

Welcome, mishuno.

I was lucky enough that she was at least accepting of the idea.

One possibility I could consider in your case is that you wear it only outside the house but that you leave the keys at home. If she refuses to accept the keys, then they remain in your possession but always at home unless you're traveling, in which case they stay on your person or in your hotel room for example.

Just one possible idea. You might have to agree to take it off as soon as you get home every evening without being asked. Another possibility.

[TwistedMister]

I have suggested that I wear a stainless steel cock ring in the meantime as an outward physical sign of my devotion to her. A physiological reminder to myself as well of her role in our lives now as the dominant one when it comes to our sensual and sexual lives. The feel of it weighing on me all day would be a constant reminder to me of her. I think it would give me some of the physiological need that I crave.

She is open to this idea but has some concerns first. Our worry is prolonged wearing of one is not good for my health. I would get one that would be slightly loose fitting so that the blood flow was not restricted. We would be using this as a symbol and not as a cock ring is intended to be used so it would not be so tight as to restrict blood whether I was erect or not.

Experience:

Following playtime one evening, in which I did not get the base ring (CB3000) removed, I subsequently went to sleep with just the ring on. The ring was plenty loose and comfortable while not erect. Despite having had an orgasm, I had nocturnal erections which were prolonged by the restriction caused when erect. When I awoke, I discovered that these prolonged erections had resulted in edema which left my penis in a very ugly and mis-shaped state. Frankly, the condition it was in when I woke up was very disturbing. Although it went back to some semblance of 'normal' after a few days, I still sometimes see some unevenness after erections, and it appears to have become more pronounced after other occasions of becoming erect with just the ring.

It is my *opinion* that the more often this is allowed to occur, and the longer the duration of the occurrences, the more prone to this effect one becomes, with a cumulative lessening of returning to 'normal'. YMMV, depending on body type (shower vs. grower). I am a 'grower', very small in appearance when flaccid but just over 6" with decent girth when fully erect.

I think that there have been some here who have said that they have worn just a ring on an extended basis, but, personally, I wouldn't recommend it (especially if you are a 'grower'). If you choose to do it anyway, I would suggest that you be very observant and very cautious...unless you enjoy the idea of having a very ugly and mis-shaped cock.

(This is just my [subjective] experience. My results may not be typical and may not apply to others. I am not a doctor but I *do* have a reasonably high IQ, a very good education, and a *heap* of experience in determining cause and effect as well as logical deduction and inference. Proceed at your own risk.)

[Len51]

There is no rule in the latest version of the Chastity rule book, 4th Edition, that says you haves to wear a cage 24/7. Simply take it off at night. I used to do that and a lot of guys still do. No real reason to wear it at work either unless you are into masturbating at work. So you can limit your cage to just those times where masturbation is a possibility. I used to only wear mine when I was home and my wife went out. When she got back, I was unlocked. For a while I even held both keys. As we both got used to chastity things changed and now my wife wants me locked up 24/7 and could care less if I had an orgasm or not. A year later and our sex life is all about pleasing her and teasing and denying me for long periods of time, excite her.

I can remove my Holy Trainer in 5 seconds. Just unlock, take off the cage and then the solid ring. I started off on the honor system too but as our chastity periods got longer and longer, I knew that I needed something that would not make it very easy to masturbate. If I get a rash or chaffing, I go back on the honor system. Chastity is something you have to want. Do not expect someone else to force you to remain chaste. It becomes a real chore for them and gives most no pleasure. We only succeeded in chastity when we both wanted it.

[anominus]

If you are open to other ideas, the forum has a lot of relevant discussions:
e.g.

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=60152

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=22163

[mishuno]

Hello All,

Thanks for the comments.

TwistedMister, you stated that when you left your ring on from your CB3000 you had issues. Do you ever sleep with the full cage on? If so why would you not have any issues with the cage on as the ring would obviously have to be on as well. I know a number of people sleep with their cages, if the cage rings do not bother them why would it be that just a ring would? If my cock ring was at the same tightness as a base ring for a cage would it not then be just as safe to wear as a cage which it seems a large number of people where 24/7?

Happily Caged, thanks for the suggestion but I do not think that would really work for me. I would then be wearing the cage for the sake of me, not her. I would feel as though I was playing that game with myself. Right now she is very into the chastity game, she sets the rules, determines my orgasms, dictates when and when not I can touch her sexually, etc. She chooses when and how I get teased and is becoming quite good at it. So I know we are both playing this game and in some aspects she is truly calling the shots. I really feel that she would need to be calling the shots as well with the cage for it to mentally work for me.

This is why I asked about the cock ring as she IS open to the idea. I am just looking to see if anyone else is doing the same and am curious about their experience and it's safeness.

I would also love to hear from anyone who was in the same boat as I am with a wife who did not want a cage but then changed her mind. Just so I can get some ideas as to how we could work through this and maybe my wife would eventually open her mind to it as well.

Anonminus thanks for the links, the first link was a great help.

Len51 - Thanks. We both do want chastity and we do realize that she is not forcing me to be chaste. I guess maybe I am just over reacting over the fact that she does not like the cage. I know I will need to be patient on this one, hopefully one day though.

[TwistedMister]

TwistedMister, you stated that when you left your ring on from your CB3000 you had issues. Do you ever sleep with the full cage on? If so why would you not have any issues with the cage on as the ring would obviously have to be on as well. I know a number of people sleep with their cages, if the cage rings do not bother them why would it be that just a ring would? If my cock ring was at the same tightness as a base ring for a cage would it not then be just as safe to wear as a cage which it seems a large number of people where 24/7?

Because, with the cage on, full erection is not possible and the penis does not become completely engorged. Without the cage portion, full engorgement is possible...in fact, even *more* than usual...and the constriction of the ring restricts and delays the return to the flaccid state much, much longer than normal. The over-engorgement for an extended period of time results in edema. Edema is the condition where fluid is trapped internally in tissue when it shouldn't be. If you have seen Viagra commercials, you may recall the warning to seek medical attention for an erection lasting more than four hours- this is called 'priapism' and the result can be edema. I suspect that this condition could become permanent/semi-permanent/chronic if it occurs for an extended time and repetition.

I am more than passing familiar with this medical condition due to an event when I was in the military- one injury (among a number of others that occurred during that same event) was that the upper bone in one of my arms (the humerus) was snapped completely in half. The skin in that area remained intact but during the time it took me to make my way back to base and get to a medic, the sharp edges of bone cut through the muscles, veins and blood vessels, resulting in a significant amount of bleeding internally in the arm. The tissues in my arm became engorged with blood- edema, in this case it was called 'pitting edema' because you could press on it with a thumb or finger and the impression would remain for a period of time. It took weeks of therapy (that would be impossible to do with a penis) to resolve this condition. It might have been worse had I not been losing a significant amount of blood through a number of holes in other places in my body (from whence comes one of the reasons for my aversion to piercing).

So, you can do as you like, but you are forewarned that there may be a risk involved. In my mind, sleeping with [just] a cock-ring on is a bad idea. BTDT, was very unhappy with the result. Others may say that they do it with no ill effects, but I would suggest caution.

[mishuno]

OK, I understand now.

Thanks for the help and warnings.

I will probably stay away then.

[nervous newb]

TwistedMister, you stated that when you left your ring on from your CB3000 you had issues. Do you ever sleep with the full cage on? If so why would you not have any issues with the cage on as the ring would obviously have to be on as well. I know a number of people sleep with their cages, if the cage rings do not bother them why would it be that just a ring would? If my cock ring was at the same tightness as a base ring for a cage would it not then be just as safe to wear as a cage which it seems a large number of people where 24/7?

Because, with the cage on, full erection is not possible and the penis does not become completely engorged. Without the cage portion, full engorgement is possible...in fact, even *more* than usual...and the constriction of the ring restricts and delays the return to the flaccid state much, much longer than normal. The over-engorgement for an extended period of time results in edema. Edema is the condition where fluid is trapped internally in tissue when it shouldn't be. If you have seen Viagra commercials, you may recall the warning to seek medical attention for an erection lasting more than four hours- this is called 'priapism' and the result can be edema. I suspect that this condition could become permanent/semi-permanent/chronic if it occurs for an extended time and repetition.

I am more than passing familiar with this medical condition due to an event when I was in the military- one injury (among a number of others that occurred during that same event) was that the upper bone in one of my arms (the humerus) was snapped completely in half. The skin in that area remained intact but during the time it took me to make my way back to base and get to a medic, the sharp edges of bone cut through the muscles, veins and blood vessels, resulting in a significant amount of bleeding internally in the arm. The tissues in my arm became engorged with blood- edema, in this case it was called 'pitting edema' because you could press on it with a thumb or finger and the impression would remain for a period of time. It took weeks of therapy (that would be impossible to do with a penis) to resolve this condition. It might have been worse had I not been losing a significant amount of blood through a number of holes in other places in my body (from whence comes one of the reasons for my aversion to piercing).

So, you can do as you like, but you are forewarned that there may be a risk involved. In my mind, sleeping with [just] a cock-ring on is a bad idea. BTDT, was very unhappy with the result. Others may say that they do it with no ill effects, but I would suggest caution.

2 things:

1) My wife/KH and I watch NASCAR and there tend to be a lot of commercials for ED during NASCAR. We like to joke "In the case of an erection lasting 4 hours, seek you spouse!"
2) Holy crap TwistedMister! That story about your arm in sick! How far did you have to go back to base with your arm like that?! Did you have to go on foot? Most people will never know how incredibly difficult it is to walk any distance with a broken bone like that. Most people do not have the intestinal fortitude to help themselves, and would pass out and lay on the ground hoping someone finds them, which is rarely a good strategy on a dynamically changing battlefield.