Punishment for mostly vanilla couples

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Grizzly228
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Punishment for mostly vanilla couples

Post by Grizzly228 »

Back from a break. Did 19 days of tease and denial. Then 9. Then almost a month of freedom which was nice. Out of the blue my gf says she wants to start a new streak longer than 19 perhaps. I was surprised and a little worried but agreed as isn't this what I wanted? It had already been 3 days so I felt like I had a head start.

Day 5 begins and I was enjoying some tease and denial tumblr pics when I went a stroke too far. I felt it brewing and couldn't stop it. I removed all stimulation and willed it to go down but it was too late. My 4 days of work dribbled away. No orgasm. Worse was the feeling I betrayed my gf for the first time. I told her this morning and she seemed disappointed but not overly so. I explained the ruined orgasm an she said "I'm kinda glad you didn't enjoy it" I still feel in need to make it up to her and deserve some penalty. But I don't think se will. Other than handcuffs blindfolds and tease and denial we are fairly vanilla. I'll try anything but don't think she's into punishment. She may add a few days to my next release or do a little extra teasing next time we get together but I still feel that's not enough. Also I'm still horny and bummed about the ruined orgasm as I've given them to myself before but usually follow it up with a real one within the day.

Anyway so does anyone have any other ideas of punishment or reconciliation to make up for my accident, taking into account we are basically vanilla? So whips and pain are probably out of the question. Thanks.
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mellyshubby
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Re: Punishment for mostly vanilla couples

Post by mellyshubby »

A good one would be for her to have you right on the edge of orgasm on your agreed on day (19 days), then she would stop and tell you that one week has been added as your penalty. It would be best if she really did surprise you when you thought you were going to get to cum.
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Grizzly228
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Re: Punishment for mostly vanilla couples

Post by Grizzly228 »

While explaining what happened I had to explain what a ruined orgasm was. I think that's gonna be my punishment for a while. Just don't know how long or how many. We only see each other a couple times a week so the time in between seems like it's gonna be the worse if that's the direction she goes.
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Grizzly228
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Re: Punishment for mostly vanilla couples

Post by Grizzly228 »

Well unfortunately I was right. I gave her eight, yes 8, orgasms tonight. She gave me 2 ruined orgasms and says I can't again until November. I'm not happy about it. But I'll still do what she says.
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sherulestherooster
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Re: Punishment for mostly vanilla couples

Post by sherulestherooster »

We are not that into punishment. My wife has "punished" me somewhat capriciously by delaying my orgasm date.

One time, she took the Hitachi and told me that I couldn't be there for her orgasm. She literally sent me out of the room, full well knowing that she was going to get off by herself. This was truly a punishment for me!
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notbeinfringed85
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Re: Punishment for mostly vanilla couples

Post by notbeinfringed85 »

My KH sends me out sometimes too. It really is heart breaking.
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HerTDToy
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Re: Punishment for mostly vanilla couples

Post by HerTDToy »

I always craved punishment when I came without permission. It felt like it was part of the game with her - but after a while I realized that being denied was something I really wanted, so instead I tried to adopt the mindset that I really wouldn't cum unless she permitted me to - In other words I tried to live up to her rules, not crave cheating and punishment.

However, sometimes you just can't stop in time. :) I've found that there are times where she hasn't given me permission and I have to decide between going over the edge or stopping just at the moment when she starts to cum. I tend to err on the side of pleasuring her, so I'm bad sometimes.

We've tried a few "punishments". Some of these have worked, some are more fantasy - but I imagine with the right imagination and care they could be made to work.

Deny me her orgasm - This is the most frustrating for me. I love making her cum, it's my favorite thing to do. When I'm horny and amped up on chastity, the only thing I want to do is be between her legs licking her to orgasm. Denying me this is a big bummer and a big incentive for me to not screw up. I like the variant of this where she gets off anyways with a vibrator and sends me out of the room before she climaxes. All sorts of scenarios here you could play with - She could send you to the corner of the room, face the wall and suck on a dildo while she got off.

Spanking - Classic, but unless she really delivers it and pushes the safe words there's little point to this since I would tend to enjoy it as much as she does. I find she's not willing to push the boundaries far enough for us to make this work.

"Alone time" - I read about this someplace on someone's blog. She ties you down spread-eagled on your bed, blindfolds you and rubs a *little* hot & icy on your balls - enough to inflict quite a bit discomfort without being in massive pain. Then she tells you to think about what you did, turns off the light and leaves the room while she watches TV, reads a magazine, whatever. After 30-45 minutes she comes back, asks you if you've learned your lesson, and unties you. The trick here is learning what a *little* is. We played with hot & icy once - let's just say the proportions were off and she had me jumping around the bathroom hollering.

Extending Time - We don't play for specific periods of time, so this hasn't worked for us - but I do think it would be fun to have her just extend your time. Seems like you benefit from that though. I mean admit it guys - when she says "That'll be another week for you..." you love it.

There was a great blog post on "punishments" by Lady M. I sent this to my wife to read, she really enjoyed it. I think the good guidance in there was that a punishment should be putting you in a position where you're not getting something you want. In other words, she really needs to think about what you love, and then take it away.

http://monkeyinacage.wordpress.com/2014 ... ermission/

It's a good read.

Good luck!
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Re: Punishment for mostly vanilla couples

Post by TwistedMister »

"Alone time" - I read about this someplace on someone's blog. She ties you down spread-eagled on your bed, blindfolds you and rubs a *little* hot & icy on your balls - enough to inflict quite a bit discomfort without being in massive pain. Then she tells you to think about what you did, turns off the light and leaves the room while she watches TV, reads a magazine, whatever. After 30-45 minutes she comes back, asks you if you've learned your lesson, and unties you. The trick here is learning what a *little* is. We played with hot & icy once - let's just say the proportions were off and she had me jumping around the bathroom hollering.
Various brands/types have different levels of intensity and it can take some experimentation to figure out how much of what kind is needed where for how long. All can be amplified using a hair dryer.

One of the most intense is one called HEET, it's a liquid in a glass bottle with a puff-ball applicator. I've had this stuff around practically forever, so I don't know if it's still on the market. But, this stuff is waaaaaaay intense. I haven't had the experience of it being on my scrotum except as an accidental contact. But, I recently discovered that there seems to be some nerve connection from my penis to the soles of my feet. I had been experimenting with it, starting off with a little and then a little more and it didn't seem too bad...so, in a moment of insanity I coated my cock with it, liberally. Most other brands, I can handle my cock being liberally coated (balls are a different story), but *this* stuff...holy crap! My cock felt like it was burning, then, the soles of my feet began to tingle. After a little while (don't know how long exactly) the soles of my feet began to feel like *they* were on fire, and it just kept getting worse. I might have lasted maybe 15 minutes, and it took repeated scrubbing with soap and very cold water to reduce the intensity to a tolerable level. (With any kind of this stuff, don't use warm or hot water to try to wash it off, like a blow dryer, warm water makes it hurt *more*.) I used this stuff on my knees once (like it's *supposed* to be used) and the heating effect lasted for nearly a week, amplified every time I took a hot shower. I can only imagine what it would be like to have it slathered on your cock, and then get locked up so it can't be washed off very well :cry: .
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
Grizzly228
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Re: Punishment for mostly vanilla couples

Post by Grizzly228 »

Well during my second day I did it again this time during intercourse. I gave my gf a couple orgasms In a row and thought I had it under control but while she was shaking from an intense orgasm it set me off. I pulled out quickly and allowed it to ooze and spurt rather unpleasirably. It was my 4th ruined orgasm in 3 days. She was very unhappy and refused to talk to me or allow me to touch her. It really hurt. It went from playful to scary. And not in a good way. She seemed herself the next morning and I promised to wait until at least November 1st as we originally decided. She didn't seem like that was good enough. I'm really kinda bummed. She was supposed to come over today. And didn't. I can't help think it is because I disappointed her. Even though she's acting normal women are hard to read especially when I know I've messed up. I guess I didn't expect her to take it so personally. It was my fantasy and I'm so appreciative she enjoys it. But I didn't think it would negatively affect our relationship

Which leads me to this; I'm going back in the cage. And I'm going to try to stay caged as much as possible for the rest of the month. I even ordered a smaller cage as the one I have now has too much room at the end as I am a grower not a shower. It's been on for about 24 hours now with little discomfort but I wish it wasn't as bulky. Thank you all who've read this thread and commented but it looks like my punishment was emotional more than physical.
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HerTDToy
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Re: Punishment for mostly vanilla couples

Post by HerTDToy »

My 2 cents...

I think you two should talk about that last interaction. I think chastity is a way to amp up sex and have fun. If either of you are inflicting emotional pain on each other as a result of slipping up, it really takes away from the fun of it. Just check in and see whether she was really upset, or whether it was just her way of fulfilling your domination fantasy.

A simple punishment would have been for her to push your head between her legs and get you to lap it all up. Another simple punishment would have been to lock you up, and not allow you out for a week. If you cum without permission after that, maybe it becomes 2 weeks.

But inflicting emotional pain isn't OK - unless that's really what you've expressed you wanted. Talk it out. Communication is a great foundation for play.

Good luck.
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