Used to be a game, now she's serious

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lockedbywife
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Re: Used to be a game, now she's serious

Post by lockedbywife »

TwistedMister wrote:I disagree. It *is* about *both*. Both partners need to get something out of this for it to work. We don't all go about this in the same way, and that's OK...
Thanks for this post. I cut off most of it in the quote due to length but truly almost every word you said was gold as far as my viewpoint is concerned. Can't tell you how refreshing it was after some of the responses and the way the thread kicked off to see that some people actually get where I'm coming from. You summed up my own thoughts better than I could have in most places. Some of the points you made here I was not going to bother making myself as I really felt like somehow I was an outcast of the forum. Given the fact that it takes some open mindedness to even explore a fetish/lifestyle like this, I was surprised at the early level of negativity. I was thinking, shit, if I can't come to a forum like this devoted to a very specific subject that is probably obscure to most of the general public and contribute my experiences and find some like minded individuals, I really must be a little screwed up in the head!
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lockedbywife
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Re: Used to be a game, now she's serious

Post by lockedbywife »

ChastizedRob wrote:I have no problem believing all this is true! My wife and I had similar adventure and now she only gives me one real O per month (12 per year). I don't think she will every deny me more but then I never thought we'd get to this point. She says just on real O for me per month is just about right as it keeps me on my best behavior and I'd have to probably agree with her.

She does let me have some ruined Os inside her but I better stay hard to prove it was ruined or else it will be a very long time before she allows me another ruined one. Being inside her and settling for a ruined O still allows me great pleasure even without a real O. No matter real or ruined she always sits on my face after to clean her up and after a couple of years of this even that becomes very enjoyable, Rob
I don't blame anyone for being skeptical, but I'm no writer. I have no time or reason to make this stuff up. I'm lucky that my wife was receptive to some of my sexual interests. We're at a place in our relationship where really nothing is off limits at least for discussion, and that's pretty cool. Ten years ago, no way we could've even come close to this.

I'll admit you've alerted me to a new possibility. Never heard of a ruined O while inside her? How exactly can you pull that off? Does she stop and settle down on it just as you're about to let go? I just can't imagine how I could do this without moving enough to fulfill the orgasm.

I know it's a popular fetish, but one thing I've never done is cleaned up my wife after having an orgasm in her, or tasted my own cum. It's weird how we're wired, but I just can't handle the thought of it happening in actuality even though I totally get the psychological appeal of it. Of course, when she has a massive orgasm on her own and is wet as can be, it's a huge turn on when she sits down on my face afterwards. It's almost like she's flaunting the fact that she just had an orgasm and I didn't. The list of truly nasty things she's done to me is endless, but I have a couple of boundaries where I'd just freak out if she crossed them!
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lockedbywife
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Re: Used to be a game, now she's serious

Post by lockedbywife »

slave d wrote:
lockedbywife wrote:If I'm this far off base from what you're used to, what's the value in responding?
Fair call, i'll just be quiet and leave you to it.

d
No hard feelings on this as I'm more than happy to try to explain the psychological reasons why we do what we do. I find it interesting what works for others whether it's something I'm into or not. I just didn't feel like our interaction was productive. I'm sure it's not what you were going for but honestly the interaction just made me feel unwelcome.

Please don't hesitate to comment if you feel there's something worthwhile to add. It's not personal, just seems like we come at it from very different angles.
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cagedmonkey
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Re: Used to be a game, now she's serious

Post by cagedmonkey »

My main concern about you situation is that the two of you may be moving a little too quickly by chasing unrealistic expectations. I understand wanting your chastity play to be in the forefront of your mind all day every day, and 8-hour tease-a-thons can be pretty freaking awesome... but in reality, it's going to burn you out if all you are about it chastity CHASTITY CHASTITY. You wouldn't treat your vanilla sex life like that; chastity is much more intense, but it is no different in that way.
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TwistedMister
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Re: Used to be a game, now she's serious

Post by TwistedMister »

lockedbywife wrote:
TwistedMister wrote:I disagree. It *is* about *both*. Both partners need to get something out of this for it to work. We don't all go about this in the same way, and that's OK...
Thanks for this post. I cut off most of it in the quote due to length but truly almost every word you said was gold as far as my viewpoint is concerned. Can't tell you how refreshing it was after some of the responses and the way the thread kicked off to see that some people actually get where I'm coming from. You summed up my own thoughts better than I could have in most places. Some of the points you made here I was not going to bother making myself as I really felt like somehow I was an outcast of the forum. Given the fact that it takes some open mindedness to even explore a fetish/lifestyle like this, I was surprised at the early level of negativity. I was thinking, shit, if I can't come to a forum like this devoted to a very specific subject that is probably obscure to most of the general public and contribute my experiences and find some like minded individuals, I really must be a little screwed up in the head!
LOL, there are a bunch of great people here and generally most are open and accepting of the differences in how others approach the subject. Once in a while though, some are so immersed in their own experience and how great it is for them that it may be difficult for them to imagine it being any different for someone else. I look at it this way- my wife absolutely loves seafood, she can almost have an orgasm from eating a good lobster dipped in melted butter, but she has a difficult time comprehending the fact that *I* think that seafood ranks very highly on the list of the most vile and putrid substances consumed as 'food'. We just have different tastes. She can discuss with her friends the various nuances of different ways of preparing seafood while I sit there thinking that they might as well be discussing methods of preparing excrement- it doesn't matter how it's cooked, it's still shit to me.

You just have to remember that when you come to this table there is a wide range of tastes represented, and there are going to be some folks who are very enthusiastic about how good something is for *them*, and how it should always be done in such and such a way. There is nothing wrong with them enjoying what they like, you just need to be mindful that their tastes may not be the same as yours and not take the difference personally. As the man with the wooden leg said, "It's a matter of a pinion."

Sort of like the "land of the misfit toys", we're all a little different somehow, and it's those differences that bring us together...and if you want to see "screwed up in the head", you should see inside of *mine*...on second thought, maybe you shouldn't.
lockedbywife wrote: I'll admit you've alerted me to a new possibility. Never heard of a ruined O while inside her? How exactly can you pull that off? Does she stop and settle down on it just as you're about to let go? I just can't imagine how I could do this without moving enough to fulfill the orgasm.
Perhaps one of the best ways is for her to be on top, and for her to completely stop moving as soon as you lose control, best if she knows you're about to go off and gets herself settled down completely so that she can move just enough to trip you over the edge and then settle back down so that you can't thrust or move inside her. Even better, is if she has learned to control her internal muscles well enough that she can use them to sort of "stroke" you without moving her body, and then stop as soon as you begin to cum.
lockedbywife wrote: I know it's a popular fetish, but one thing I've never done is cleaned up my wife after having an orgasm in her, or tasted my own cum. It's weird how we're wired, but I just can't handle the thought of it happening in actuality even though I totally get the psychological appeal of it. Of course, when she has a massive orgasm on her own and is wet as can be, it's a huge turn on when she sits down on my face afterwards. It's almost like she's flaunting the fact that she just had an orgasm and I didn't. The list of truly nasty things she's done to me is endless, but I have a couple of boundaries where I'd just freak out if she crossed them!
As I've written before, Mrs. Twisted did this to me (for the first time) back when we first had a serious go at the "chastity game". The idea of it happening was hugely erotic to me but I knew that there was no way I would be able to complete the act *after* I had had an orgasm- a bit of experimentation had taught me that, no matter how erotic it might be *before* I got my rocks off, once I got off, the idea of eating (even just smelling) semen was completely revolting. I was so appalled/embarrassed/humiliated that such a thing could turn me on that I never told her that I had had such a thought.

Long story short, I didn't get a choice in the matter- she decided to do it on her own and I was restrained to the bed and couldn't stop her (we hadn't even discussed "safewords" then, and I literally had no means of escape). When she told me what was going to happen [if I came inside her] it was intensely erotic, a huge turn on, not just because I had fantasized about it and found it erotic [in my head], but because she had decided to do it on her own and because I knew I wouldn't 'like' it but I had no way of stopping her if she really meant to go through with it. I tried to *not* cum but it was impossible, in fact, the moment that she said it I almost lost it without any further stimulation.

As it turned out, she really *did* mean to go through with it, I didn't 'like' it (humiliating, smelled/tasted 'nasty' to me) but she was so forceful and pulled my hair so painfully hard that I did it. She was really, really enjoying it and as she approached her own orgasm I realized that I was getting hard again- the fact that she was literally forcing me to do this 'nasty' thing and I had no way of stopping her or getting out of it, and that she was enjoying it so much was causing an unprecedented second erection only a very short time after having ejaculated. (And at the moment, the only thing I could think of was that I would be utterly humiliated if she were to reach back and discover my newly re-forming erection...but she was so wrapped up in her own pleasure that she didn't notice.)

Mrs. Twisted (later) told me that that she really liked doing that because (a) having her pussy licked after it had been filled with semen was physically more pleasurable than ordinary (extra lubrication?), and (b) she discovered that she was also enjoying *being* 'naughty' and *making* me do this nasty thing.

Consequently, the thought of this is even more erotic than it was before she did it- because I know that she likes it, she likes doing it [to me], and that she *can* and *will* do it when she wants to...and, of course, this adds a little extra excitement to being allowed PIV- the strange combination of fear and arousal that if she lets/makes me cum she might also be in the mood to make me 'clean up' afterward...which puts me even *more* on edge.

I can't bring myself to do this willingly, after orgasm the thought immediately becomes revolting again...but the knowledge that I *could* and *might* be forced to do it causes the act to remain extremely erotic even though I don't 'like' it (in the normal sense of 'liking' something).

This is (at least) the second time you have alluded to your Mrs. doing 'nasty' things without dishing out the details...surely I can't be the *only* one who is curious and might derive some vicarious pleasure from hearing about them... :twisted:
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locked4her55
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Re: Used to be a game, now she's serious

Post by locked4her55 »

TwistedMister wrote: *I* think that seafood ranks very highly on the list of the most vile and putrid substances consumed as 'food'.
How can this be? You're from Northern New England. . . Ayuh :lol:
TwistedMister wrote: Consequently, the thought of this is even more erotic than it was before she did it- because I know that she likes it, she likes doing it [to me], and that she *can* and *will* do it when she wants to...and, of course, this adds a little extra excitement to being allowed PIV- the strange combination of fear and arousal that if she lets/makes me cum she might also be in the mood to make me 'clean up' afterward...which puts me even *more* on edge.
I'm feel'in ya on this one.
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lockedbywife
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Re: Used to be a game, now she's serious

Post by lockedbywife »

cagedmonkey wrote:My main concern about you situation is that the two of you may be moving a little too quickly by chasing unrealistic expectations. I understand wanting your chastity play to be in the forefront of your mind all day every day, and 8-hour tease-a-thons can be pretty freaking awesome... but in reality, it's going to burn you out if all you are about it chastity CHASTITY CHASTITY. You wouldn't treat your vanilla sex life like that; chastity is much more intense, but it is no different in that way.
The expectations, or maybe not expectations but goals are sometimes on the unreasonable side. At the same time, it may be just a part of my personality but I tend to shoot for the stars. Worst case you don't quite get there but have fun in the process. Whether it's bedroom experiences, vacations, etc, I enjoy trying to make them epic. You live once, might as well experience as much as you can.

We have to find the right balance. This week has been so busy almost nothing at all has happened in the bedroom, so maybe there's another epic session ahead. It really doesn't have to be all about chastity, but I definitely find that the chastity/denial experience makes all sexual interactions so much more intense. It's fun to explore.
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lockedbywife
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Re: Used to be a game, now she's serious

Post by lockedbywife »

TwistedMister wrote:Long story short, I didn't get a choice in the matter- she decided to do it on her own and I was restrained to the bed and couldn't stop her (we hadn't even discussed "safewords" then, and I literally had no means of escape). When she told me what was going to happen [if I came inside her] it was intensely erotic, a huge turn on, not just because I had fantasized about it and found it erotic [in my head], but because she had decided to do it on her own and because I knew I wouldn't 'like' it but I had no way of stopping her if she really meant to go through with it. I tried to *not* cum but it was impossible, in fact, the moment that she said it I almost lost it without any further stimulation.

As it turned out, she really *did* mean to go through with it, I didn't 'like' it (humiliating, smelled/tasted 'nasty' to me) but she was so forceful and pulled my hair so painfully hard that I did it. She was really, really enjoying it and as she approached her own orgasm I realized that I was getting hard again- the fact that she was literally forcing me to do this 'nasty' thing and I had no way of stopping her or getting out of it, and that she was enjoying it so much was causing an unprecedented second erection only a very short time after having ejaculated. (And at the moment, the only thing I could think of was that I would be utterly humiliated if she were to reach back and discover my newly re-forming erection...but she was so wrapped up in her own pleasure that she didn't notice.)
An experience like this the way you describe it, where you're kind of forced against your will and actually have an aversion to the activity is incredibly hot. That said, if it was this particular act, I think I might panic enough to go soft. I really don't want to experiment and find out though! This remains on my boundary list lol.

TwistedMister wrote:This is (at least) the second time you have alluded to your Mrs. doing 'nasty' things without dishing out the details...surely I can't be the *only* one who is curious and might derive some vicarious pleasure from hearing about them... :twisted:
Sorry for taking so long to respond, didn't mean to leave you hanging as I really haven't had a chance to log on and contribute this week. The only reason for omitting those details is 1) they're a little embarrassing to share and a potential turnoff for a lot of people and 2) I just didn't want to go too off track in the subject matter.

That said, since you've specifically inquired I suppose there's no harm in sharing. Generally, the "nasty" stuff she's done in some ways goes along with what you described above, but involves bodily functions that are coming from her and not me. In most cases no matter how gross it is on the surface if she's forcing something from herself on me I get aroused. So, that can be as simple as her going for a run and getting all hot and sweaty and sitting on my face, sometimes taking it a level further and making me contend directly with her armpits, which is just all about the humiliation factor. On that subject, on a limited level some toilet related stuff. I've had to contend with golden on occasion. Probably one of her favorite things to put me in my place is to go #1 through her panties and then gag me with them. She's passed gas in my face. Used to be shy about it but just has no reservations any more and almost seeks out opportunities. She's made me lick her asshole (which I really don't enjoy doing on my own and fight her on it til she forces me). The most common thing really is just that almost every time she gets wet and sloppy from an orgasm, she sits right down on my face and smears it all over and just leaves me there. It's kind of all about her doing something like that to me and then leaving me behind chained down with no choice but to deal with the smells, tastes and sensations, and I'm left to think about what she just did to me and how helpless I am to it all. There have been times I've just begged for her to stop and she flat refuses. It can be terrifying in the moment but is always hot to me when I look back on it later.

In this department there are limits as well. I would go ballistic if I ever had to deal with anything related to her monthly cycle. It's an irrational phobia but it's just the way it is. I might actually hurt myself trying to get away from it. On top of that, for anything that is so unsanitary as to leading to a serious health risk, common sense prevails. Our sex life isn't always about this type of stuff, but she has it in her arsenal and uses it often enough to keep me in line. I'm sometimes embarrassed to get so hard from it, but she's seen me grow stiff down there enough times and goes out of her way to humiliate me that way. A lot of times hearing her verbally mock me for it or even threaten some of these things causes intense arousal.
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cagedmonkey
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Re: Used to be a game, now she's serious

Post by cagedmonkey »

lockedbywife wrote:The expectations, or maybe not expectations but goals are sometimes on the unreasonable side. At the same time, it may be just a part of my personality but I tend to shoot for the stars. Worst case you don't quite get there but have fun in the process. Whether it's bedroom experiences, vacations, etc, I enjoy trying to make them epic. You live once, might as well experience as much as you can.
If you take your time, though, you can reach the stars without having to risk the "worst case" (which can be a lot worse than just having fun and moving on, trust me).

NASA didn't just stand up one day and say, "We're putting a guy on the moon," and then launch Apollo 11. They did test after test to make sure they could take the next step.

No need to rush things, imo. :)
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Re: Used to be a game, now she's serious

Post by TwistedMister »

lockedbywife wrote:This remains on my boundary list lol.
Funny how we can have different reactions to different things- for me "fart play" is one of the [few] things that is "out of bounds" on my list of hard limits, as is "red wings" (no longer a concern with her anymore)...going "Golden" however, makes me hard as a rock, more so if she is telling me how 'dirty' I am because it *does* arouse me.
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04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
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