How to NOT get your partner's attention

[Tom Allen]

I ran across this article from Psychology Today in my RSS feeder, and considering how often the topic comes up of "How do I get my wife to...?" I thought that maybe this would be interesting.

First item on the list:

1.) The long explanation: Since what you have to say is really important, you may be tempted to state your position in great detail. Don’t! It’s easier to understand (at least at first) a concise statement of a problem than a long-winded position.

This struck me because so many guys have this long, drawn-out run-up to "Why you should lock me up," giving charts, graphs, blog posts, etc. Sometimes simple can be a good thing.


The rest of the very short list is here:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/may ... -attention

[Michele]

This looks good, I'll have to read it later. Thanks Tom for sharing! I love stuff like this.

[Atone]

I brought the subject up to my wife one night, it was a very short conversation. It was just after my birthday and my wife was going to do something special (sexual) for me. It was late and she was tired, the conversation when something like this.

her "I think you are going to have to wait until tomorrow"
me "ok, I am thinking about getting a chastity device"
her "ok"

That was it. The next day we went out and bought an old style CB-3000 for an outrageous amount of money from our semi-local sex shop (about an hour away).

[mistress jules]

What a great article, simple yet effective. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

[attentive_husband]

This struck me because so many guys have this long, drawn-out run-up to "Why you should lock me up," giving charts, graphs, blog posts, etc. Sometimes simple can be a good thing.

I did a PowerPoint presentation. 12 slides long including a final one that said "Questions?" I don't know if that's the best way, but it worked (I think barely). What was really good about it was that I was so tongue tied talking about it that it helped me work my way through the points. For the later slides, I mostly just let her read them.

One advantage I think, we've all been trained that you listen to the presentation and then discuss. And so it let me lay out what this all is and what I thought it meant. And it focused on the problems it solves and the benefits to her.

[gilesenglish]

Yes! One of the things I find myself repeating is, "Don't make a big fuss about it!" You don't just bore your partner, you also risk putting them off the whole idea.