All LockedUp and no play makes for a very dull Game*UPDATED*

[LockedUp24]

Alright everyone My KH and i have been playing with Chastity for 2 months or just over that.
My problem is the teasing and any attention has dramatically declined and yet im still expected to remain Locked and to continue with my large chore List.
I don't mind doteing on my KH i do that anyway like foot rubs and back rubs etc because i love her and has nothing to do with chastity (im sure many feel the same about their KH)

I mentioned how im feeling to my KH plus i has sore Skin from the device and she allowed a few days to heal
She said she wishes to continue when my skin has healed but if im just to be just left there locked up then where is the goal to keep going.

i know some will take chastity very seriously and that's just not where we are right now.

Any advice would be great.

[Tame Lion]

Isn't the fact that she is willing to lock you up at all the whole point? Maybe you could just let her lock you up and then wait for her to decide how to handle things. It may not fit your fantasies, but if you don't give her a chance to figure out what she wants, you could end up with nothing.

[jundle]

I am working under the assumption that not only do you want to be in a chastity device, but that you also want some kind of teasing to keep the thrill of a long term low-to-medium arousal. In all honesty, for me, i think its not so much about the device, but about the mind game and sexual tension.

With that said, i think "http://www.malechastityblog.com/ultimat ... ity-guide/" guide does help to bring across the point (to the new key holder who may not fully understand your needs [as you are both driven differently biologically speaking]) that you have a need to be teased, in a kind and understanding way.

Also, try and take the time (now that you've kinda hit a "wall") to think and learn more about what it is that you want and what excites you, so you can express it to her so she can "get" where you are coming from. Maybe day dream or write down a fantasy, not so much to share it with anyone, but more over to find out what it is that you *want*. Then use that new knowledge in a discussion with your significant other.

Just some thoughts, and I hope all goes well. Good luck!

[QueenAl]

Talk to her...say the amount of teasing is making you depressed...try begging her while you massage her....write some texts during the day telling her how much you desire her touch....court her. Hell lick her bottom and beg...if that doesn't work...throw a tantrum and demand to be let out...say you're ready to stop...play chicken with her...I tried crying in bed when she rejected me and had me spoon her...I just had to surrender yet again... Just talk to her about it maybe set up a plan....but if you think she's. Just lazy and wants to not deal with you sexually...get out then bolt cutters and stop the game. That will get her attention.

[ChrissysProperty]

Relationships are widely varied and entering the chastity lifestyle is a whole lot of fun to start with but the bubble can burst after a while. My KH played the lifestyle eagerly for the first 6 months or so, teasing me constantly and winding me up rotten. I loved the attention (which is what we really get out of chastity). That teasing and games she played with me eased off and we had several discussions about it. Each time it increased the attention she put into it but each time it waned again. I've now accepted the fact that I only get a very occasional tease and my once or twice a week washing and edging. We have to accept we love our KH's for reasons other than just the chastity thing etc.

Basically, you have to keep talking to your KH and find out what you BOTH want and need out of the lifestyle and compromise. If there is a better answer to this, I hope somebody lets us all know!

Keep smiling and be happy!

[LockedUp24]

Thanks everyone for the advice.

Yep ive talked to my KH about it and will continue over the weekend.
My point is i get that leaving someone in Chastity is part of the apeal but the human body and mind still needs attention in some way or another.

But after speaking to my KH she had said that she did not mean to cause concern and that she does wish to continue with the play.

I will say even though im released from my device for skin healing she still cant help but enforce things LOL.


Chastity Play is not a means to enforce celibacy on someone.(cant remember where i read that)

[Tame Lion]

Talk to her...say the amount of teasing is making you depressed...try begging her while you massage her....write some texts during the day telling her how much you desire her touch....court her. Hell lick her bottom and beg...if that doesn't work...throw a tantrum and demand to be let out...say you're ready to stop...play chicken with her...I tried crying in bed when she rejected me and had me spoon her...I just had to surrender yet again... Just talk to her about it maybe set up a plan....but if you think she's. Just lazy and wants to not deal with you sexually...get out then bolt cutters and stop the game. That will get her attention.

There are some really interesting assumptions here:

She is the one who wants the chastity and demanding release will scare her into submission and make her teae you. Get real. She is locking the OP cause he wants it. Acting like an infant and throwing a tantrum is useful.

Sorry, but such tactics are only successful in an unpartnered man's fantasies. Lack of attention is a relationship issue that needs to be handled in an adult way.

[mistress jules]

I have been asked this question before and can only give you my take on how I think about it.

Chastity is from what I have seen mostly introduced to a relationship by the male, if the female agrees that it could be fun then it is a fabulous time for both. Admittedly I am single and only do long distance locks at the moment so this may not translate to actual couples however my opinion was formed when I was in a relationship.

The way I see it, you have asked for the chastity device to be introduced to the relationship. It is not up to your keyholder to keep you entertained/teased etc as and when you wish or expect. Just because things have gotten a bit different for you does not mean they have for your keyholder.

I find that this expectation can make one feel that the sexual side of the relationship is really all that is wanted or noticed. This can have a negative effect on the female, I found myself thinking very much that all my partner was interested in was sex and pulled away. I felt he had to prove that he still cared for me as a person not just as a sex object.

So gentlemen, please think, how are you portraying this situation to your keyholder. Have you become that guy, the one who only sees her as a means of tease and denial even if she has had the day from hell? The one who is thinking only of his needs and not hers? This is a sexual kink, so if you keep on about your needs, you have become that guy who only cares about his kink, do you want to be that guy when she agreed to join you in helping you fulfill your fantasy? Are you willing to take the chance that it all finishes because you have become the guy who thinks of nothing but his dick?

Or are you able to remember that this is chastity and to be able to enjoy it with your partner is a joy that should be embraced. Remember the alternative.

[Intense_Restraint]

You say your KH is not teasing you as much as you would like. I can understand, because I have the same situation. What happens when you ask her to tease you? How about if you think of ways she could tease you and ask her to try them? So, for example, if you had a vibrator, you could ask her to apply it to a certain sensitive caged area for whatever number of seconds seemed appropriate. Perhaps she could do this for 20 seconds? Or if you do 30 push-ups for her, then perhaps she would do it for 30 seconds? Doesn't seem like too much to ask, does it?

I find that if I gave back rubs to my wife, then that causes swelling in a certain sensitive area of my body, so that while I'm doing something nice for her, the effect on me is the same as if a vibrator was applied to my cage. Perhaps there are things like this that you could do.

I also find that I enjoy being locked even if several days go by without any teasing, but I can certainly understand the desire for more teasing.

[LockedUp24]

Thanks everyone for the advice.

Ive talked to my KH about it and we have sorted out some stuff.
I dont think i had explained it Fully..I wasn't receiving any contact with my KH that includes giving her attention in anyway what so ever (she said she didnt want anything)

we have gotten rid of the chore list so my KH must tell me what She wants (Goal)
The thing i didnt want was to start complaining or topping from the bottom as if its to work my KH needs to find out things in her own way unless she asks me a question.
In the end it did take a talk about it on a small scale.

Intense_Restraint.
You seem to have understood the situation best here and i thank you.


My KH now teases me more Verbally (Goal) than physical contact as she isnt very physical during the day.