Chastity Forums

We are playing with chastity since 7-8 months now. My wife seems to appeciate it, however she has never had any interest in locking me. Using the device is enirely on my own: if I need to wear the device resist to temptation, I wear it. If not, I stay free.
Now, after some time, I am getting used to sleep at night even if aroused. Therefore I use the device less and less, in other words I am in the honour system. This works, since I have never touched myself (I have quite a good self control). It happened only one time, at the beginning, that I beg for release, but it was the very first 2-3 days of denial, and in any case my wife let me have an orgasm (I did not do it on my own).
Now, I wonder if any forumer share the same experience and, like me, finds that the device is almost un-necessary?

I think devices are fun but I/we have have used them only once in a while for a little spice. I like the high I get of increased sex drive and being controlled, etc., is secondary to me. Different people play with this for different reasons.

I'm a newbee, don't even own a device, I am only interested in them for the fun / spice, my gf wants to see one on me. I like the daring aspect of wearing one and being undetected. So, I hope to find a similar experience that no, they're not necessary but fun.. I think it also signals a deep commitment to your significant other and lets her control things, that's sexy!

My being locked 24x7 & my KH wife holding the key has saved our marriage. I'' tell you how it started.
I introduced male chastity to her purely to clear her suspicion about me having some affair and to build her confidence in my loyalty towards her. Chastity play, T&D etc. was not at all important to us at that stage. As she realized & got convinced that by locking me she can rest assured that I can't have sex without her knowledge, all her doubts were gradually cleared. It took her few months, and till then we hardly had sex. She used to release me only for shaving, but that too under her supervision. Gradually, as she relaxed, the spice in our sexual life came back and we started enjoying all other pleasures of chastity.
Now we are much closer to each other than before, our sexual pleasures have increased many folds, but she has firmly declared that my cage will stay on forever.

Short answer: No.

Longer answer: It depends what you kink on; if it's purely the submission aspect then you might be OK with no device. If however, like myself, you find yourself identifying with this blog entry by Thumper: http://wp.me/pnj9j-1ZH you will need lockdown to be part of your lovestyle.

He hasn't worn his device long term in probably a year. We just kinda evolved into a lifestyle of the honor system, and the device (or threat of the device) is just another toy for us.

poor wrote:Short answer: No.

Longer answer: It depends what you kink on; if it's purely the submission aspect then you might be OK with no device. If however, like myself, you find yourself identifying with this blog entry by Thumper: http://wp.me/pnj9j-1ZH you will need lockdown to be part of your lovestyle.

Two caveats:

1. Kinks don't always stay the same. I have been interested in OD since college and am in my 40s and different aspects are appealing at different times and circumstances. Inexpensive devices were not an option back then and lots of websites had to do with homemade devices which isn't as much party of the genre now. I liked "waiting" long before the cheap devices were around.

2. Submission is only one aspect. There are also ver vanilla aspects---the mental training that "self discipline" can take just like working out and eating right. Some of the best blogs veer into health and fitness all the time.

We had a long stretch where "no masturbating/no orgasms/no humping the girlfriend" was the rule. In that case, we didn't need the device. My wife liked me locked during her period, so I got not genital play while she was not having any herself. The thing was that I was constantly wanting attention, and needing to be edged. I didn't masturbate, but the hand does wander. For us, part of the problem is/was keeping a balance between kinky stuff and my sex life with my wife. I didn't like that I was constantly wanting genital attention. My wife and I decided that full time chastity was the way to go. Only my girl unlocks me and can "empty" it, from time to time. Could we do the same without a device? Yes, but the device provides a reminder that we (in our poly situation) make my wife's sex life the priority. I don't need my wedding ring to know that I've been married 21 years, but I keep it on. The CD is similar for us. I use a split ring, instead of a lock. I take it off and put it on myself, but the device is the reminder not to get an erection or have any stimulation. Basically, we've done both. We've done forms of chastity/denial with and without the device.

<<I introduced male chastity to her purely to clear her suspicion about me having some affair and to build her confidence in my loyalty towards her. Chastity play, T&D etc. was not at all important to us at that stage. As she realized & got convinced that by locking me she can rest assured that I can't have sex without her knowledge, all her doubts were gradually cleared. It took her few months, and till then we hardly had sex. She used to release me only for shaving, but that too under her supervision. Gradually, as she relaxed, the spice in our sexual life came back and we started enjoying all other pleasures of chastity.
Now we are much closer to each other than before, our sexual pleasures have increased many folds, but she has firmly declared that my cage will stay on forever>>

WE are in a similar situation, in that my new-ish girlfriend/partner wouldn't agree to live with me because she thought I would screw around just like her husband did. Once I explained that would be impossible if she locked me up, she began to get interested. Looking forward to moving in very soon!

I have edited this post to reflect my current situation. I had to remove my CB6000s today due to skin irritation that is still hurting. I have also started new medication that makes me urinate very frequently and cleaning up afterwards is a pain in the butt. We made a decision to use the CB only as needed like when my wife goes out two nights a week and at other times, I will be on the honor system as I have been in the past. We got the CB to play with and neither of us places any significance on it as a symbol. We are not into seeing how long I can go as my wife likes to make me cum a few times a week since it turns her on. I can understand a Chastity device as a symbol of control but since we live in a 24/7 wife led marriage with D/S and Domestic Discipline, I always feel submissive and know that my wife is in charge. As my wife said, if I slip up once in a while, so what? It is not the end of the world and I will be punished for it so severely that I will not slip up again for a long time.