How Long Did You Wander?

[eido]

I'd be curious to hear how long you it took you to find the thing that absorbs your attention and how you felt before and after you found it. Whether it's MC or some other practice discussed here, I would be interested in your stories.

If this question is asked and answered in another thread, please point me to it.

[Oldtimer]

Long story short, a few years after our marriage my wife invited her best girlfriend into our sex life because it was obvious that I was getting deeper and deeper into BDSM, much deeper than my wife wanted to go. So we lived most of our 41 years of marriage with vanilla PIV sex with my wife and D/s sex with her g/f. So for me it was very early on, in my early twenties. We had tried wife swapping and group sex but we both found out that we needed an emotional attachment to our partners to enjoy it so the g/f thing worked out very well for us since I knew her g/f longer than she did had lusted after her as a teen when I was met with a hard slap to my face that left an impression on me for the rest of my adult life. That one singular moment when I grabbed her boobs at age 15 and was slapped so hard that my ears rung, defined the direction of my sexual preferences. Who knew back them that years later she would be my Mistress for over 35 years.

[poor]

In the days before the Internet, I tried to infibulate myself after getting far too interested in a 'Forum' magazine article on the subject and before that I can remember feeling the same about a 'Knave' magazine piece on historic female chastity belts (but I was in shared accommodation in the Army so couldn't really 'act out' on it).

I wasn't actually aware how much of a fetish this was for me until my 1st night with (dial-up) Internet about 10 years later. I pretty much 'distilled' my preference (or found my tribe) within a few hours of getting online. Despite this coinciding with starting a family I still found the money for my first device (horrible thing - don't ask) within a few weeks. Chatelaine knew I was a fan of 'kink' but this was too much for her at a time of great change. It was 'my thing' for most of the next decade, but the last 5 years have been much more of a joint effort with her running the show for the last 3 years.

[TheDude]

When I was younger I was always turned on by bondage, and I wondered about it for years until I could find a partner willing to indulge me. I never really had a "before"

With male chastity, I did some reading online and probably spent 10-15 hours over a couple of months reading up about it, and then ordered my first device. I tend to do a lot of research before buying anything, but with chastity there is a huge range of information ranging between useful information all the way up to pure fantasy. I was actually quite put off at first as I thought it was a huge lifestyle thing, and since playing around with it, I know it is not intimidating and not a big change, and will only be what me and my partner want it to be.

[fuzzydunlop]

I am pretty sure I have had a kink streak in me as long as I can remember. So I agree with the comments that there was no "before". What I have found kinky has changed from time to time. Somethings get old, somethings don't, and sometimes there is nothing better than finding something dirty that I never thought of before, which is hard to do as I get older.

[eido]

Regarding before. To me that was the time when I thought no one else in the world did this or thought this way, and also when I had no language for these desires and curiousities. I grew up well before the arrival of the internet, so the feeling of isolation was intense. I was in college before I first heard the word 'bondage' used in the context of a sexual/sensual practice. For me, that was the end of 'before' but not the end of the isolation.

[fuzzydunlop]

Regarding before. To me that was the time when I thought no one else in the world did this or thought this way, and also when I had no language for these desires and curiousities. I grew up well before the arrival of the internet, so the feeling of isolation was intense. I was in college before I first heard the word 'bondage' used in the context of a sexual/sensual practice. For me, that was the end of 'before' but not the end of the isolation.

Thanks for sharing. I don't think I was quite so isolated exactly. I didn't quite occur to me much that other people did not think like me. It was almost the opposite. I knew that people would think my interests were "weird" and I didn't want to be thought of as a "weirdo". Gawd I wish I wasn't so uptight then.

But there were a couple of key times. I had a friend who always went in drag in junior high for Halloween. CD as a kink suddenly made sense to me.

In college, I lived in close quarters and realized that MB felt a lot better after waiting a week.