Does chastity make you a better man?

[chastehub]

CagedMonkey wrote a fantastic blog post recently (http://monkeyinacage.wordpress.com/2013 ... in-a-cage/).

If it weren't for the fact that i'm not near as articulate, i could have written the same post because i feel exactly the same way. And CagedMonkey really nailed it when he said "Ironically, her control over me gives me the freedom to focus on pleasing her."

On a good day I'm a pretty self-absorbed selfish bastard. But when the lock clicks that completely changes. When she takes control of my manhood MyBride is instantly front and center in my psyche at all times. My focus shifts entirely to pleasing her, and I really really like that. I like the man I become when locked up: the romantic, thoughtful, put-her-first man.

I'm interested to hear how many others feel enforced chastity makes them a better man?

[Annes-sub]

Well I have to say yes it does make u a better man. I was the same a self centered all about me blasted also in everyday life. But after being locked and handing over the key and going three weeks, I realized how much I was drifting away from some of the passion that me and my wife had in the past. I was totally shock I had read it in blog's and on here but when I experienced it first hand I was shock and felt better about my self. And when she seen it in me we were right back to like it was when we first got together. An that is something we will not stray away from. It is definitely an eye opener I will say that. She is my everything and if it takes locking me up then so be it..

[clamence]

I do think that my chastity made ​​me a better man and a better husband. I am much more attentive to the desires and wishes of my wife. In bed of course but especially in life in general. This male chastity makes us sharing a conivence and a complicity that I never felt before in other relationships. It became the cement of our couple.

[Oldtimer]

It may make some a better man but lots of frequent orgasms also makes you a better man because you do not want to lose that. In one case there is the fear of not having them and in the other, a fear of losing them. We do lots of things due to fear of losing something we cherish, such as losing our freedom, so we behave and do not commit crimes. Those in prison will be on their best behavior so that they can get out of prison earlier. So I guess it depends on each individual's situation. Having been in both situations myself, I find this to be true.

[RegularJoe]

No, I don't think it makes me a better man....it just makes me a much hornier man who's simply come to enjoy that feeling which, unlike the fleeting feeling of an orgasm, is nearly continuous. Even when she's not around, the sensation of my cockhead pushing against the thin bars on the end of the jailbird is very stimulating...especially when I remember that she's got the key, and I won't be coming until she decides the time....which results in yet another round of swelling and stimulation. So many days and hours of being so close to coming, but never getting there.

As far as better behavior towards my wife; I've always been a devoted husband...the difference is that it's now her turn to enjoy lots of orgasms.

[Linus]

Of course it does!! And 'the best man' from the wife's angle!! A better man in many aspects. An ideal husband, totally focused & devoted to wife's pleasure, will disciplined, caring, loving, etc etc.
In my case, my manhood is now well protected, enhanced & taken care of by my wife.

Exception - Those who hate male chastity may not agree with this point of view.

By the way, how do you define a "better man"? Will somebody comment?

[Michele]

Awwww you boys are so cute! I'm on the other side but I see the difference in the chaste hubby's motivation.

Anyway, cagedmonkey wanted to reply to this thread but he is only allowed to post through me so here ya go:

First off, thanks to chastehub for the kind words and compliments on my post! It's great to see my posts sparking such interesting conversations here on the forum.
 
Personally, I was never what you would consider the classic definition of a "selfish" lover. When my wife and I had sex, I was always focused on making sure she had a chance to cum, and making sure that she did when she wanted to. However, I now see that I was selfish in a passive-aggressive kind of way - I did nice things for her and performed foreplay acts in order to get sex. Yes, I licked her pussy to make her cum, but I also licked her pussy to get her turned on enough so I could fuck her.
 
Now it's different. Now that My Lady has the key to my cage and controls every single facet of my sexuality, my focus is completely on her pleasure. It doesn't matter how turned on I make her, I'm only getting any if she wants me to. This fact allows me to give up control over my ability to "coerce" her into sex with foreplay. With this motivation, foreplay is no longer "foreplay," it's how I make love to My Lady. It's how I please her. And when I do it, I am completely focused on giving her the pleasure she deserves (not trying to get from her what I want).
 
Not to put down anybody, but I think those who serve their KH's out of fear of losing orgasms are still acting out of selfishness - you're serving to attempt to control your fate. You aren't truly acting in a selfless way unless you relinquish full control over you orgasms to your KH.
 
Not to say that acting out of fear doesn't make you a "better man." Any steps that a person can make towards treating their partner with love and respect can be seen as becoming "better." I just know that I probably wouldn't have been able to make the conceptual leap that I have made without the addition of chastity into my sex life.

[chastehub]

CagedMonkey and LadynMonkey, thanks for the post; you always get me thinking.

To clarify, when i say i am a selfish bastard that is more of a statement about my general everyday attitude outside the bedroom. i wouldn't equate selfish bastard with selfish lover. i have always focused on pleasing MyBride while we were making love, and when we made love we usually both managed to cum.

Having said that, though, frequent masturbation was one symptom of being a selfish bastard, and that reduced my desire to make love, so we didn't make love as often as we could have. i guess you would argue i was a selfish lover because i was stealing love making opportunities from MyBride. Further, our love making sessions usually consisted of a few minutes of foreplay and a few minutes of PIV sex leading to mutual orgasm. Now we make love far more frequently, and the sessions can last an hour+ with lots of foreplay and her orgasming, and her deciding if i orgasm along the way. So as CagedMonkey says, foreplay is no longer foreplay.

Also, i wouldn't say i serve my KH out of fear of losing orgasms (although is that my subconscious motivation? Time to call Freud). When the lock clicks it is a total change in focus from me me me to her her her. And i don't attempt to control my fate (i think you could call that topping from the bottom), but rather i try to please MyBride out of the pure joy that (her being happy) brings me, and let her decide my fate not based on whether i was a good boy or a bad boy, but based on her mood at the time.

CagedMonkey, i think we are pretty much at the same place philosophically, and that is why your blog post resonated so strongly with me.

[Intense_Restraint]

I think chastity makes me a better husband, more attentive, more helpful, and more fun to be around.