But what do I get out of this?

[wonderingwife]

OMG! I am throwing my phone out the window! Fielded four phone calls as I typed that last post.

Every time I get that image in my head I get one heel of a giggle fit going and have this urge to hide his set of keys and tell him I lost the spare keys just so I can watch him try to get a lock off the darn thing. The perilous of living with an ornery sadist.

Every time I get that image in my head I get one hell of a giggle fit going and have this urge to hide his set of keys and tell him I lost the spare keys just so I can watch him try to get a lock off the darn thing. The perilous life of living with an ornery sadist.

(That was going to drive me bats)

[steph17]

I have seen and read parts of this long drawn out story and imho if the lady does not want anything to do with chastity because she likes cock so much why is anyone bothering trying to change her mind.
I think she is just enjoying an online argument and I mean no offence to any one.

[locked4her55]

Why am I being such a snot about tagging myself a “key holder”? I know the bad dog, as soon as I say “Okay, I’ll take charge of the key(s)” he is going to assume that means I am willing to do this his way and he will forget everything I have said about why the idea doesn’t appeal to me. He is going to have to run to the end of his chain and get snapped back to the real world of what I can and can't do.

I think what is hard for many of us to understand is the topping from the bottom attitude Bad Dog has. In my relationship with my wife/KH, it just wouldn't work and I know it. I start to get pushy and it's game over. She hands me back the keys and I lose out on something that I crave deeply.

This is why I specifically told him I would put them on my key ring but I wouldn’t not be using them to unlock him so the message is clear that I am not becoming key holder, I am simply making sure if in the event a key is lost he will know where to find a spare rather than having to find the bolt cutters.

IMO, I think this is a bad idea. If at this time you don't want to be considered a KH then don't hold his key. No matter how much you reinforce it with him he clearly is not getting the message you are sending about embracing chastity. Again, IMO by you putting the spare key on your key ring he feels you are one step closer to accepting taking responsibility of his CD.

[wonderingwife]

I have seen and read parts of this long drawn out story and imho if the lady does not want anything to do with chastity because she likes cock so much why is anyone bothering trying to change her mind.
I think she is just enjoying an online argument and I mean no offence to any one.

Nice cleaned up way of calling me attention whore

[steph17]

I am not labeling you, but you can if you want, I have no horn to blow over your opinion, quite a few people seem to be saying the same thing over and over, just phrasing it different.
Bottom line you are not interested. End of---Game over.

[wonderingwife]

I am not labeling you, but you can if you want, I have no horn to blow over your opinion, quite a few people seem to be saying the same thing over and over, just phrasing it different.
Bottom line you are not interested. End of---Game over.

You might need to reconsider what you definition of whatever it is you weren’t labeling.
Someone seeking attention would be posting into threads with nothing relevant to the conversation or something intended to be snotty and disrupt the discussion just to be posting, to draw attention to themselves, by being crabby, even a bit elitist.

As far as I know ( and anyone feel free to correct me) I haven’t been attention seeking, I have posted in response to the other posters comments, I haven’t posted in any thread but this one and I have kept my comments on topic, only veering off if it is needed to augment the topic.

Since I am only posting in this one thread if you don’t open it again, you won’t have to be involved in what you called

she is just enjoying an online argument

I am enjoying the conversation tremendously, I won’t deny that and the “just go ahead and try it” stopped days ago and it has become a discussion that has some interesting thoughts posted by many of the members, but one that seems to be bothering you so again, I suggest you avoid this thread.

[wonderingwife]

Why am I being such a snot about tagging myself a “key holder”? I know the bad dog, as soon as I say “Okay, I’ll take charge of the key(s)” he is going to assume that means I am willing to do this his way and he will forget everything I have said about why the idea doesn’t appeal to me. He is going to have to run to the end of his chain and get snapped back to the real world of what I can and can't do.

I think what is hard for many of us to understand is the topping from the bottom attitude Bad Dog has. In my relationship with my wife/KH, it just wouldn't work and I know it. I start to get pushy and it's game over. She hands me back the keys and I lose out on something that I crave deeply.

This is why I specifically told him I would put them on my key ring but I wouldn’t not be using them to unlock him so the message is clear that I am not becoming key holder, I am simply making sure if in the event a key is lost he will know where to find a spare rather than having to find the bolt cutters.

IMO, I think this is a bad idea. If at this time you don't want to be considered a KH then don't hold his key. No matter how much you reinforce it with him he clearly is not getting the message you are sending about embracing chastity. Again, IMO by you putting the spare key on your key ring he feels you are one step closer to accepting taking responsibility of his CD.

Topping from the bottom, maybe not as much as it seems. I’m no longer frustrated with him and we are talking this out, a lot. He is wearing them during the day and he has been great about making sure they are off by the time I come to bed. Today he had on what he called the “birdlock punisher” (I hope got that right) It has been a crazy nutso day here and he’s not home yet so I have no idea how he did thru out the day with that one on.

As far as putting the keys on my key ring, I made it clear as to why I was doing it and it as more for my sanity then for his need to have a key holder. As ornery as I can be with him, I’d never want him i danger so heaven forbid he does lose the keys!

My soliloquy about being the “Keeper of the key” was more just my thoughts on why I’m not keen on the idea and why it might be an issue for other partners who balk at taking on that responsibility.

[KeyheldHubby]

Wonderingwife:

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your thread, if only for the fact that it represents a completely different perspective on chastity.

While I've not completely read every single thread or post on this forum, I do browse through various threads from time to time. I also read many of the threads on the "Other" major chastity forum (which shall remain nameless) out there. In just about all of the threads, there is this recurring theme of "Husband / boyfriend brings up the notion of chastity to significant other. Husband / boyfriend gets locked in chastity cage. Significant other - who may be initially hesitant about the concept - quickly 'comes around' to the idea and becomes an fervent keyholder."

But that's often the stuff of fantasy and doesn't take into account the reality of human nature and the interations that couples have.

Which is a main reason why I read your entire thread with a smile on my face and a laugh in my heart.

My beautiful wife is much, much more vanilla than I perceive you to be from your writing. She's not particularly dominant at all, and while she's more than willing to hold the keys to my Jailbird and to receive the inceased attention that derives from my being locked up, that's just us. We're all different (ain't that great?) Things that seem "right" or "normal" to one kinky couple might seem completely weird to another.

One of the things that brought me to this forum was the notion that we all seem to share the same kink, but in a completely non-judgmental way. A spirit of "glasnost" if you will. For me? It makes it easier for me to share what I'm feeling (my "journey" if you will). And I get a daily chuckle from the thoughts of others and their chastity tribulations.

It's great having you here, and your (obvious to me) passion about your feelings is great. Thanks and keep it up - reading your posts makes my day a bit brighter.

Thought you'd like to know.

[wonderingwife]

Thanks Keyheldhubby, I’m flattered you enjoy reading my rambles. If I recall right, you built your own device? That must have been some interesting times in your work shop! It made me giggle when I read that, I wondered if the bad dog had even given thought to doing that.

And you perceive right, I’m a long way from vanilla and I have had times in my life I wished I wasn’t so far away from it because it has blown up a few relationships, some guys think they can handle relationship with a dominant women until they get what they wished for. I have to admit I always chuckle when I hear someone refer to themselves as vanilla or say their partner is, because vanilla is such an intoxicating and exotic scent. Without that one essence, our lives would be boring. It is the top and bottom note of many exotic perfumes and think of all the awesome deserts we miss out on without vanilla so I always figure anyone who is “vanilla” have their own exotic awesome secrets. Seems you wife is one of those vanillas who has an exotic awesome secret.

[wonderingwife]

Keeping my "he bought it and I didn't want it" ramblings all in one spot, the quotes below are from this thread:

http://chastityforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=48374

Which birdlock do you have?

My husband has these two:
http://www.amazon.com/Made-Medical-Grad ... d+punisher

$290.00 - YEOW

If your husband spent this much on a Birdlocked I would be pretty pissed too.

Which birdlock do you have?

My husband has these two:
http://www.amazon.com/Made-Medical-Grad ... d+punisher

$290.00 - YEOW

If your husband spent this much on a Birdlocked I would be pretty pissed too.

$287 for a Birdlock? Holy money lost Batman!

Medical grade silicone = doctor has/is wearing/bought one...

Actually with shipping it's $292.11.

"Not eligible for Amazon Prime".

Only 1 left in stock, what a deal - buy now.

Breathe guys ; he didn’t pay the much for it. When he bought it back three months ago the price was 158.00, with tax and shipping fee it was a total of about 180.00.

I was never pissed about the amount; I was pissed because he did it without consulting me to see if I’d be interested in having the devices as part of our sex life.

To be honest out of the three he bought even he had paid the going rate right now it wouldn’t have been “lost money” because it’s the only one that has my attention at all, being the sadist I am the fact the damn thing has spikes inside the tip, has me hoping if he’s going have one on, it is that one.


The fact getting hard in that one is uncomfortable and makes him squirm when he is in it and getting hard is about the only time I see anything in the whole chastity game for me. Walking by and busting him in the crotch with my knee or fist brings a whole new turn to c.b.t. for me when he’s in the damn thing.