Letter to my beloved wife D

[Al6666]

Have a good morning my sunshine,

I decided to post my letter to you in this forum as a form of redemption for all that I've done to you for the last two years.
We are together almost 10 years and looking back I would say they are the best in my 44 years long life. You gave me everything, your love and affection, honesty and devotion, wisdom and laugh and our two precious children.
One would say, what else can you dream of? Unfortunately my selfish ego thought my penis is the center of the universe. I was bored, angry with you that you don't want me every night. I knew you are exhausted taking care of our kids, trying to establish your own business and supporting me in mine.Despite all this I disrespected you. You were the perfect wife and I was the perfect idiot! I am masturbating since childhood and during all of our married life( except the honeymoon maybe), even this was not enough for me. I was constantly looking for "excitements", new horizons to rich and finally I got them. I started cheating on you with other women, not even younger, prettier or smarter than you. I just felt the urge to please myself, neglecting you and the family.I thought I live a happy life.One bright day you caught me and I will never forget your eyes, the shock and the pain...but you forgave me. For the last six months we were trying to save our marriage. I continued to watch porn and masturbate even more furiously than before. Things again were going backwards. You lost your trust in me, although I was unsuccessfully convincing you I don't have any new affairs. Last week while browsing my regular porn sites I stumbled to a picture of CB6000 and immediately understood that this is my best chance to change my miserable life. I ordered the device and came to you with the suggestion to give it a try. Thank you for your understanding, today is the fifth day of my virtual chastity ( I locked myself mentally and gave you the key) and I feel reborn. I am full of positive energy, I love you more than ever and realized what you really mean to me. Love you madly, can not wait to get the real thing and to give you the real key.

ONLY YOURS,
Al

[Tom Allen]

Have a good morning my sunshine,
I decided to post my letter to you in this forum as a form of redemption for all that I've done to you for the last two years.

Hi Al.

First, welcome to the forums. I'm the guy that approved this post a little while ago. We're generally a friendly bunch around here, and I hope you had a chance to browse and read since you joined.

However, "friendly" doesn't always mean "warm fuzzy". I say this because I can't see any evidence that your wife joined this forum, and if she's not reading this, then there's little point in dropping this confession, especially as your introduction. Maybe you can clarify this for me.

I am masturbating since childhood and during all of our married life( except the honeymoon maybe), even this was not enough for me.

This is my own personal opinion, but masturbation gets a pretty bad rap. Nothing wrong with it, unless you do it so excessively that you lose the energy to have sex with your partner. However, it sounds like you had a lot of energy.

Last week while browsing my regular porn sites I stumbled to a picture of CB6000 and immediately understood that this is my best chance to change my miserable life. I ordered the device and came to you with the suggestion to give it a try. Thank you for your understanding, today is the fifth day of my virtual chastity ( I locked myself mentally and gave you the key) and I feel reborn. I am full of positive energy, I love you more than ever and realized what you really mean to me. Love you madly, can not wait to get the real thing and to give you the real key.

And not to rain on your parade - this *is* a chastity forum, after all - but the idea that a $200 hunk of plastic hanging off your tonker is going to change your life is magical thinking. If you read the earlier posts, you'll find that most of the people with *successful* chastity situations are doing so as a way to enhance intimacy within their relationship.

If you are already having trust and intimacy issues, then fussing with a bit of plastic is the last thing that you need to worry about. Chastity devices will only serve to *add* to your sexual arousal, which may not be exactly the kind of thing you need in order to rebuild trust with your wife. That, and it usually takes weeks for guys to get used to wearing the devices. You'll be adjusting things, it will pinch, and at night it will feel like it's ripping your balls off. You'll be asking for the key so often that your wife - if she's practical minded - will wonder why you wasted the money.

Here's my opinion, worth what you paid for it:
Spend the money on a good therapist. Get to understand yourself a little better, and maybe you won't find the need to allow yourself to be led around by your dick. And instead of spending time trying to figure out which spacer to use, spend the time trying to figure out what makes your wife tick, and use that knowledge to become a better husband. Then, when the both of you really get to know each other, you can still experiment with chastity. Just please don't think that a device on your junk could possibly replace the hardware between your ears.

[prthomas]

C'mon Tom. Why don't you just tell it like it is for a change?

[Tom Allen]

C'mon Tom. Why don't you just tell it like it is for a change?

I think you've upset him, PR - he hasn't been back all week.

[Al6666]

Hi, I quote the letter from my wife in responce to my post:

"Hi
I read your post am I am really and truly moved.
Thank you.

As for the reply, I do not think it’s a cold shower – it’s a reality call.
And it is exactly what I tried to tell you last night, only much better phrased.
Still, since I know you a bit better than he does, I think he missed a few things that he simply does not know, both about your character and about our history together.
I do think that it might help, although, as I said yesterday, it is NOT a “trust device”.
The trust, I hope, will come later, as we learn to share our thoughts and feelings with each other.

I have much more to say and very little time, but please do not refer to any blogger on the internet as God’s deputy.
You have no idea who he is, he has no idea who you are.
In my opinion, you do not need to apologize to him or explain yourself.
Trust yourself, trust me.
That’s the basis and the goal of this whole thing.
Nothing else and no one else matters.

Love
D "

sorry guys, I am OK, but this was't a warm welcome...

[Tom Allen]

sorry guys, I am OK, but this was't a warm welcome...

Hi Al. As I wrote, "friendly" doesn't always mean "warm fuzzy."

At the risk of my appearing to be a bit of a jerk, your first post was not an introduction, nor did you give any background to your situation; you just dropped this confession slash apology into a group of people who pretty much agree that chastity devices are great tools to enhance sexual intimacy, but essentially useless to ensure marital fidelity.

While I can't figure out why you wouldn't simply give that letter to your wife, instead of posting here, it's interesting that she immediately saw this point:

As for the reply, I do not think it’s a cold shower – it’s a reality call.
And it is exactly what I tried to tell you last night, only much better phrased.
I do think that it might help, although, as I said yesterday, it is NOT a “trust device”.

Your wife is obviously a patient and practical-minded woman. $200 worth of plastic is *not* going to make you a better husband. That job is entirely up to you.

So, now that we've gotten this out of the way, I hope that you'll take advantage of the experience of the various members of this board, drop in to discuss your feelings or thoughts on chastity, or even just to discuss what's going on peripherally with your life.

[Celtic Queen]

Couldn't agree more Tom. It wasn't a warm welcome because it wasn't a "hello". I am puzzled as to how you can warmly welcome a cut and paste letter to someone else.

Al6666, your wife sounds open, articulate and willing - we would be pleased to welcome her here and both you and her will gain the benefit of sensible advice and support from real people who are going through exactly what you are going through. Make of it what you will.

Now, let's start again shall we?

[Al6666]

Hi Mr. Deputy (glad you like it), Your Majesty and everybody,

First of all I have to apologize for my unusual and quite emotional introduction.
I wrote my letter here in the forum and sent a link to MW. She is reading the forum, hope she will join as an active member.

Tom, thank you for your warning. I read about the physical discomfort at the beginning. On one hand I'm not a masochistic type and on the other I know what pain is.
I am not afraid, on the contrary, I think I deserve to be punished a little for being a prick for such a long time. But definitely not doing it for fetish or or sexual arousal. It's about rebuilding the trust and devotion, emphasizing on the deep and unique emotional and mental link I have with my wife.
Both you and my wife are right, I accept the CB6k as a magic wand. I saw in it a glimpse of hope. The magic works even without the wand. The last six days were the best since many years, we set and talked calmly, not arguing as usual. The change was in me, I felt liberated from my excessive sexual drive and extremely happy just to be with her.Many of you guys will smile about my 6 days virtual chastity, for me it's a world record and I still want to beet it. Our plan is to wear the CB6K for one year, slowly increasing the periods until I get to a month without ejaculation, than we will decide to continue or not. I need the device just as insurance, knowing myself (tried already a couple of times to quit smoking unsuccessfully) I am afraid I can brake down in the middle of the road. Wish me luck dear friends, on the website where I ordered they have a little clock counting down the time to delivery. Cute, isn't it? Can you bet how many times a day I am checking this clock? I promise you'll be the second(after my wife) to know when the clock reverses.


Hope to learn from you a lot and to share with you my journey for the next year.
Al

P.S. I live in a warm country where the metal detectors are literally everywhere and in good condition. One can forget about metal device. I even have a problem with the padlock, can not risk to be caught on the first shopping mall's gate. Still searching for a reasonably secure non metal padlock and I found this:
http://www.safetyseries.com/products/it ... 27%7C26851
Please,tell me what do you think about it, I called the company and asked about detection, but they don't have an answer.
The pedlock is designed to work safely in a srong magnetic field environment.
For now me and my wife agreed, that I will use CB numbered plastic padlocks and she will inspect me at least once a day, which turns her into a "scissors holder"
Technically, I will be able to escape and this worries me a lot.