Starting out into chastity

[newtothisuk]

Hey, so I have been surfing the web for a while now, looking at chastity and I love it!

I have been with my gf for over 18 months now and everything is great!!

But I have a submissive side and I really want to try new stuff out and chastity is one way. Do you have any tips on getting her to do this with me? I have suggested it jokingly and said im curious as i want her more incontrol, but when she looked up she seen the houdini one and was a bit shocked. I love the look of the CB6000S and if was going to get one that would be the one.

any tips on getting my dream to come true?

[poor]

The CB6000/s is an excellent starter device and often all that anyone needs.

Successfully introducing MC into a partnership is much harder to pull off than the securest chastity device. It depends on many factors and how you go about it is at least as important as what you do.

I recommend Sarah Jameson's 'Be Careful What You Wish For' as it gave me the tools to succeed after many years of trying, failing & upsetting both of us.

[newtothisuk]

well ive been talking to my gf today about it, I said some benefits about it saying I will be giving her more attention, she will have sex when she wants, I wont get to orgasm unless she said i can. She seems to be coming round to the idea but I want her to say 'i want to get one' so i dont feel like i have made her say yes. Anyone had this problem?


Also im glad the CB6000/s is a good device.

[locked4her55]

There have been many threads here posted about what you are asking. Doing a search will give you some ideas.

A general theme is don't over push the potential keyholder towards chastity. You are most likely very excited about this and have thought about it for some time now. If this is something you just sprang on her it may take awhile for her to warm up to the idea.

[newtothisuk]

yeah I should have searched first, but thank you for not being rude!

Yeah thats why im trying to do but i think I think i am being a bit pushy, I said to her I do not want to do it unless she truely wants to do to it!

Thank you

[Tom Allen]

I said to her I do not want to do it unless she truely wants to do to it!

Let me offer up a responsible opposing viewpoint, purely for the sake of argument:

Sometimes we really want to do something that our partner does not. Maybe they haven't had a chance to think about it, maybe they had a bad experience in the past, maybe we're presenting it wrong, whatever. The point is, when you are partnered up, you can't always expect your partner to do something that *you* want and feel the same passion about it as you do.

That said, it's counter-productive to take the attitude that you'll only do something "unless she truly wants to do" because
a) it means that you won't do very much, and
b ) it means that you'll have to do without something that *you* want.

Now, maybe you're okay with living this way, but eventually there's going to be something that you *really, really* want to do, that your partner will not... but you'll *really, really want* your partner to do it with you, for whatever reason. It's perfectly okay to ask your partner to accommodate you once in a while, even though you know it's something that's not on her A list.

Potentially, your partner might grow to like it, but you would have missed the opportunity if you waited until she "truly wanted to do it."

Hopefully it's clear that I'm not suggesting that you coerce a partner into trying something that they would hate; I'm saying that sometimes it's okay to ask for what *you* want, even if you aren't sure your partner would like it.

[newtothisuk]

That is a true point, everyone must be able to do things they like! My gf is vanilla and im trying to get her out of that, I have told her to look on the internet about what it is like doing MC. And from what I have found everyone loves it! So I am just trying to kinda educate her into chastity. Her concerns where that she is not the dominating type and also she doesn't want a submissive/dominating relationship which i agree as I do not just want to be a doormat. I just want her to control my orgasms!

Going to talk to her tomorrow about, browse the internet about peoples views on it, So will just have to see. Thanks for the advice so far!

[poor]

2 points:

1) The "tried MC & it sucked" crowd aren't vocal. They just went off and tried something else.

2) You don't need a device to start. (You don't need a device at all.) The biggest obstacle you will have to overcome is how your partner feels about the equipment. Just start with "I'm giving up masturbation unless you are in the room with me. Is there anything you'd like to try this year?"

And DON'T PUSH IT! Get used to patience - if you are successful you will need plenty of it.

[TwistedMister]

My gf is vanilla and im trying to get her out of that, I have told her to look on the internet about what it is like doing MC...Her concerns where that she is not the dominating type and also she doesn't want a submissive/dominating relationship which i agree as I do not just want to be a doormat. I just want her to control my orgasms!

Letting her search for information unguided could result in her discovery of certain other sites which are perhaps not quite as focused on...realistic....scenarios and/or lean more toward strict FemDom and 'sissy' play. If she is vanilla and not into domination this could overwhelm her and turn her off.

You might want to re-think that idea. It might be better if *you* do the searching, and print out stories/articles which are carefully selected so as to limit the scope to chastity/orgasm control without all the trappings of female domination/BDSM/sissification and give them to her to read...not all at once, just a little here and a little there, and suggest it might be fun to try a bit of role-play starting with a very mild scenario.

[newtothisuk]

2 points:

1) The "tried MC & it sucked" crowd aren't vocal. They just went off and tried something else.

2) You don't need a device to start. (You don't need a device at all.) The biggest obstacle you will have to overcome is how your partner feels about the equipment. Just start with "I'm giving up masturbation unless you are in the room with me. Is there anything you'd like to try this year?"

And DON'T PUSH IT! Get used to patience - if you are successful you will need plenty of it.

Yeah I understand that you do not need a device to get what I am looking for, I think I need to kind of persuade her to be a little bit more controlling with me in that sense, just one step at a time for her to really come round, not just kinda say we are getting a chastity device and you will control my cock one day over dinner!

My gf is vanilla and im trying to get her out of that, I have told her to look on the internet about what it is like doing MC...Her concerns where that she is not the dominating type and also she doesn't want a submissive/dominating relationship which i agree as I do not just want to be a doormat. I just want her to control my orgasms!

Letting her search for information unguided could result in her discovery of certain other sites which are perhaps not quite as focused on...realistic....scenarios and/or lean more toward strict FemDom and 'sissy' play. If she is vanilla and not into domination this could overwhelm her and turn her off.

You might want to re-think that idea. It might be better if *you* do the searching, and print out stories/articles which are carefully selected so as to limit the scope to chastity/orgasm control without all the trappings of female domination/BDSM/sissification and give them to her to read...not all at once, just a little here and a little there, and suggest it might be fun to try a bit of role-play starting with a very mild scenario.

Yeah i understand what you are saying, I am currently vetting all the webpages I am sending her to read, checking they are contain benefits to the woman and not too extreme, but I think because she has not had chance to read a lot about them it is still quite new and daunting,

Another point to make is I have read a couple of times where it has been the man's decision and the female has been a bit sceptical, but once they have got into they have loved it and their dominate side has came out. Does anyone have experience of this happening, because that would be perfect for me!