Ruined orgasm

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Atone
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Ruined orgasm

Post by Atone »

So, back on New Years eve I was allowed out of my jailbird. My request was to be let out to tease me a little and then lock me back up. My wife suggested that she should let me inside her for just a minute and then please her in other ways and then be locked back up. Well, she (and I) was enjoying it so much she didn't want me to pull out. We would slow down and stop but then start up again. This went on for a long time and we even switched positions to a couple of times. We ended up with her on top of me. It finally got to the point where I just couldn't hold off any longer. I would tell her I was close and we would stop but each time it happened the interval got shorter and shorter. Finally I told her I had to stop but she didn't want to. The next time we stopped I told her I think it is too late. Sure enough, a few seconds later while totally stopped I could feel myself ejaculate inside of her. It was absolutely the most amazing feeling. At the same time it felt great it was also incredibly frustrating. I wasn't even sure at first if I actually came, it was hard to tell. The evidence definitely showed that I did. Neither of us was upset by it but we didn't really know quite what to make of it either.

Should this be considered an orgasm and we would then start a new cycle? My mind was telling me this was an "unauthorized" orgasm so we should start a new cycle.

Should we treat this as a bump in the road and stick with our original schedule? My body definitely didn't consider this an orgasm, I was making the case for it not counting and we would stick with our Jan 13th release date.

It was /is a strange unanticipated situation to be in. It has left me a little confused and sometimes disappointed. I kind of want to just have a real orgasm sometime soon just to make a clean break. As it is I sometimes think I am on day 137 still, and other times on day 8. I know that in one sense it doesn't really matter, just pick one and move forward. In another sense though I just can't put my mind at peace. I know it is irrational but it is bothering me.

-A
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wishful4
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Re: Ruined orgasm

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Atone wrote:Should this be considered an orgasm and we would then start a new cycle? -A
Atone, Think that will be up to your keyholder/spouse!!!
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Dev
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Re: Ruined orgasm

Post by Dev »

If I were your KH, I'd be at the point to start mixing it up a lot, with lots of regular and frequent orgasms. Okay, you've gone a gazillion days so you've proved you can do the monkish thing, now, can you get it up and demonstrate that you can spurt on command every two or three days? It is clear that you really get off on being locked up, so I'd mix that up, if I were your better half.

Just my 2 cents, you might not agree but you asked for opinions. ;)

D
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Atone
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Re: Ruined orgasm

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wishful4 wrote:Atone, Think that will be up to your keyholder/spouse!!!
I agree, and it will be but we are in this together so we will work it out together. And then she will decide :)

I think if she was definite on it one way or another then it would be fine. She is figuring it out too so it isn't that easy.

-A
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Re: Ruined orgasm

Post by celticqueens_sub »

Atone, CQ and I have had exactly the same experience when I have been still inside her and then cum. It felt exactly as you describe. I even had the same doubt as you that I had ejaculated, but again it was self evident that I had cum. Yet the feeling was not at all like an orgasm that had gifted to me and allowed by CQ.

I got extremely upset for many reasons, but primarily because I didn't want o orgasm without her permission. CQ took a very pragmatic view. She could tell that is was not an orgasm that I had enjoyed, we have on occasion practiced ruined orgasm during cycles in order to avoid possible health issues ( a whole other thread on does the prostate need emptying...) and CQ does not see these as bits or breaks in the cycle. For us the cycle ends in an enjoyable, fully allowed, completed, orgasm. Our cycles vary from 5 days to 3 weeks or so, if I am ruined in that time it is up to CQ how she counts it, but generally it is not seen as a break.
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Atone
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Re: Ruined orgasm

Post by Atone »

Dev wrote:If I were your KH, I'd be at the point to start mixing it up a lot, with lots of regular and frequent orgasms. Okay, you've gone a gazillion days so you've proved you can do the monkish thing, now, can you get it up and demonstrate that you can spurt on command every two or three days? It is clear that you really get off on being locked up, so I'd mix that up, if I were your better half.

Just my 2 cents, you might not agree but you asked for opinions. ;)

D
I hear you on the mixing it up part. Also on the monkish part.

She had decided well before this happened that after my next orgasm I would be locked back up right away and then we would have another longish lockup. As far as I know she hadn't determined just how long but the discussion we had indicated it would probably be at least a month or more. There is nothing that says that she (we) can't mix it up but I have to say that idea was incredibly hot to me at the time and still is. One thing I didn't mention is that right after this she came down with the most awful cold /flu / head congestion something or other that has all the signs of keeping her down for another week or more (based on similar past experiences) so nothing is likely to happen any time soon.

You are right, I do get off on being locked up. I would be happy to "spurt" on command a few times if that is what she wanted but I don't think I will be encouraging that.

As another side note, she did say how much she liked that I didn't get grumpy after my ruined orgasm like I do after a regular orgasm. This is something that she says I have always done, in particular on the day after we would have sex. It confused her because she always thought I should be happy after I got what I wanted but that I never seemed to be.

-A
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Atone
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Re: Ruined orgasm

Post by Atone »

celticqueens_sub wrote:Yet the feeling was not at all like an orgasm that had gifted to me and allowed by CQ.

I got extremely upset for many reasons, but primarily because I didn't want o orgasm without her permission.
Thank you for the affirmation. Orgasming without permission was the most disappointing part.

I wouldn't quite say it was not enjoyed, it just wasn't a real orgasm. In some ways it actually made it better. The second most disappointing part was that my wife was enjoying her monthly friend so I couldn't even bring her to orgasm the way we both like the most. I certainly hope we try another ruined orgasm again sometime when she isn't on her period.

-A
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Re: Ruined orgasm

Post by cb6000s »

Atone wrote:Finally I told her I had to stop but she didn't want to. The next time we stopped I told her I think it is too late. Sure enough, a few seconds later while totally stopped I could feel myself ejaculate inside of her. It was absolutely the most amazing feeling.
Should we treat this as a bump in the road and stick with our original schedule? My body definitely didn't consider this an orgasm, I was making the case for it not counting and we would stick with our Jan 13th release date.
-A
The decision is up to the KH. My opinion is that no matter what the circumstances you came and the clock starts over.
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Dev
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Re: Ruined orgasm

Post by Dev »

As another side note, she did say how much she liked that I didn't get grumpy after my ruined orgasm like I do after a regular orgasm. This is something that she says I have always done, in particular on the day after we would have sex. It confused her because she always thought I should be happy after I got what I wanted but that I never seemed to be.
So this is what you need to focus on...have sex, but don't get grumpy. As others here have said, the brain is the biggest sex organ of all. If this has been an issue in the past and you make a change, she will notice.

My 2 cents.

D
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Re: Ruined orgasm

Post by Atone »

Dev wrote:So this is what you need to focus on...have sex, but don't get grumpy. As others here have said, the brain is the biggest sex organ of all.
yes maam :)

I can and will and do try but it is easier said than done. During my last allowed orgasms back in August I tried real hard afterward but it still manifested itself. I don't think it is totally a psychological response that can be corrected with CBT but that there is a physiological component that comes in to play as well.
If this has been an issue in the past and you make a change, she will notice.
We did make a change, what do you think we have been doing for the last 6 months? She has noticed, and she likes it :)

-A
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