Contracts

[celticqueens_sub]

Thanks everyone, he is back locked up, and we have some guidelines in place. Let's hope it works

Good luck!

[fuzzydunlop]

Me and the wife have never had much luck with contracts. Maybe we are impulsive, bad at following rules, carrying out plans, etc., which creates certain challenges when pursuing discipline. I know that turning over control to another is an important aspect for most enthusiasts, but the biggest success we have had is when we take joint responsibility approach. I have trouble getting the proper motivation without her interested. I can't expect her to have the same intense interest as me, but when we are close and life doesn't interfere too much, we both seem to have fun. I drafted a contract once, and it was fun to do that, as expected, we didn't follow it. I try to take responsibility for keeping her interested---being on my best behavior, etc., without trying to do any kind of reward system (i.e., good behavior for good behavior's sake, not for any rewards). She tries to be a good coach, and encourage me to do my best.

[prthomas]

I will echo TCS on that. While I am quite structured and organized and driven by following plans, my wife is not. The last thing she wants is rules to keep track of. She prefers to make it up as we go along, so to speak. There is no rhyme or reason to my lockup periods, which actually heightens the excitement for someone so structured like me. It drives me crazy not knowing when I will be locked up or released.

So even though we have never written down the rules, after almost a year of chastity we have determined:

1- Long-term orgasm denial is not what either of us turned out to be interested in.
2- While we are not in a D/s relationship, she HAS discovered the benefits of being in control of our sex life.
3- She appreciates and gets very aroused over me being locked up.
4- There are at least three hard (pardon the pun) rules: 1) I always ask her permission before I enter her; 2) I never come without her permission; 3) I only come inside her; never outside for any reason

We might add/subtract things as we go along, but this has worked exceptionally well for us.

[fuzzydunlop]

Also, it can be fun to break rules, don't forget. For us, it has been a periodic thing over the past few years, depending on life's circumstances. Kind of like catching a wave--cycles can last several days to several weeks. Then, I eventually end up back in a rut, and it is hard to say what will spark us out of it. We did not do much in terms of chastity over the last several months, and then since the holidays are over and we are in winter's dog days, we have had more time to spend together. I think she likes that I lay off of MB, and I think she also likes making me O when she feels it is time. Today, was the first O for me in over a week, and we had planned on intercourse, but that didn't work out. I can get a little hyper and I don't want her to think all of my good behavior (not that I am always good at being good) is purely a sexual pursuit.