Refractory Period

[celticqueens_sub]

As Michael said, I too can be ready to come within an hour. I don't find me level of 'horniness' ever drops off... In fact I find that being in MC makes me feel permanently horny. CQ has me on a 14 - 16 day orgasm cycle, roughly, but she is thinking of extending this somewhat. I actually find the most difficult period after orgasm, the time when I am really desparate to come again is within a few hours to 24 hrs... Then I settle into the cycle that CQ has planned and just get on with it.

Michael refers to a 'grumpy period', I have heard this referred to before, but I don't seem to have ever suffered from this (not sure I want to either!)
Happy New Year to all
CQ's

[danj]

I actually find the most difficult period after orgasm, the time when I am really desparate to come again is within a few hours to 24 hrs... Then I settle into the cycle that CQ has planned and just get on with it.

CQ's

I am also especially horny those first 24 hours. When I was totally on the honor system, this was when I had the most trouble...that first 24 or so hours. If I could get through that without masturbating, I was usually good for the next several days. Of course, my record is still only 7 days between orgasm. My wife doesn't seem to be interested in going much longer than that...though I did request she try to get me out to 10 days this month.

[fuzzydunlop]

For me, 5-7 days. Longest marathon we ever went was about 50 days (using the honor system). I thought I was most excited about 5-14 days in, and then evened out. Late in the "marathon", I thought my drive actually dipped a bit. Don't know that I will make it that far again.

[fuzzydunlop]

Just entered a refractory period as of this morning, so I guess I will find out. Prior thereto, we promised that she would remind me if I got too jerky.

[betheball]

Refractory is different for me on honor system vs. locked. When on the honor system, the refractory cycle can be very frustrating, and also a lot less fun for both of us. My KH has to be careful not to "overstimulate" me, and I have to be careful not to get too turned on. As the days go by, porn, and even reading the blogs are very distracting...and tempting. Intimacy for us is "on eggshells" when trying to be chaste without a device. Honestly, she's not that keen on "stopping" all the time, especially when she's trying to find her own orgasm. And we don't define the boundaries or the accountability very well. If I come, it's not something we are looking to punish - she's not into that. We just "start over". The refractory kind of sets the clock, with my needs building over time up to the point that I'm "needy" again - which is about 5-7 days historically. We can go longer, but it becomes very stressful for both of us.

But when locked, there's more freedom to "let go". She can tease as she wants, I can grind, and thrust, or surf porn - sure, but nothing's going to come of it. Instead, I can focus on her. There's no worry about "how close" I am, or "can I come?", as it's not going to happen. When locked, she's free to set the clock. If she wants attention "the next day, the next week, or the next month", well that's up to her. If attention is a massage, or pussy worship, or penetration with a rabbit - well, that's up to her. One of the "unwritten" parts of our game is that I cannot use the "lock-up" as an excuse to pressure her to intimacy or sex. Early on, I was doing that - a lot ("hey, look at me here - I NEED some T&D!!). "Locking up" just seemed to accelerate the timetable. Instead of our normal 5-7 day cycle, I would "be there" in 2...or less. This "topping" from the bottom created pressure. One of the "new lessons" is that it's not my refractory...it's hers.

A key observation here (certainly posted by others, too), is that when the object is not my orgasm, the refractory time isn't that important. Affection and intimacy - because it's not going anywhere - can happen anytime. That's taking some getting used to...and is a control lever that's a struggle for me to give up (How much to initiate? How much control to give up? Should I submit entirely?), and for her to take on/initiate as well. (Must she initiate? When to allow orgasm? When to tease? How much control to take?). In the past, a combination of my refractory, her cycles, and our busy lives determined the when. Now, it's not so defined...

[kareeba]

Chastity for me is like a total sexual stimulant that doesn't go away. I'd say an hour. If I have an orgasm or even two of them and then go back into lockup mode it isn't long before I am blazingly horny and seriously want to orgasm again. Chastity in itself increases my libido way beyond what it might be without. I'm probably not the average answer but for me not too long at all.

[prthomas]

For me, it takes a couple of days before I get horny again, but as of the first of the year, she is taken to locking me back up no later than the morning after sex. After locked, I'm good for a week or two.

[Tom Allen]

Chastity for me is like a total sexual stimulant that doesn't go away. I'd say an hour. If I have an orgasm or even two of them and then go back into lockup mode it isn't long before I am blazingly horny and seriously want to orgasm again.

:nods:

[kareeba]

Chastity for me is like a total sexual stimulant that doesn't go away. I'd say an hour. If I have an orgasm or even two of them and then go back into lockup mode it isn't long before I am blazingly horny and seriously want to orgasm again.

:nods:

:nods:

[fuzzydunlop]

Different from past experiences, I was more on edge the day after, and now on day 4, not particularly worked up yet. But I've been very busy and had less alone time with spouse.