Why do I crave pain now?

[jnuts]

I've always liked the sensory aspect of pain. A bit of nails, a pinwheel here and there, etc...

This cycle I have been craving it like crazy. Real pain. I've asked for and enjoyed her nails(and teeth) digging into me hard! In places that would have had me sobbing in the fetal position before. It hurts, but not as much as it would have before. It actually feels quite good...the pain.

Belle is a little freaked out, and I have to say I am too. Any ideas? This isn't just a matter of getting a little more extreme over time. This was like flipping a switch.

[mikecb]

I've always liked the sensory aspect of pain. A bit of nails, a pinwheel here and there, etc...

This cycle I have been craving it like crazy. Real pain. I've asked for and enjoyed her nails(and teeth) digging into me hard! In places that would have had me sobbing in the fetal position before. It hurts, but not as much as it would have before. It actually feels quite good...the pain.

Belle is a little freaked out, and I have to say I am too. Any ideas? This isn't just a matter of getting a little more extreme over time. This was like flipping a switch.

I've been the same way, lately, though admittedly, I'm a masochist. I'm on my second week of self-imposed denial, and I've been doing tons of pain play to scratch the itch.

I don't know whether there's any explaining it, or fighting it. I think denying a craving for pain is likely to be as successful as denying a craving for chastity play. If you don't do it, you'll just be miserable and long for it until you do.

For a long time, I used to stigmatize pain play as something negative and perverted. That seems rather funny to me now. Pain is just another sensation that causes the body to react with endorphins and adrenaline. Those are two very addictive self-produced drugs. Provided you do pain play right, there aren't any lasting ill-effects, so why not just go with the flow?

If Belle is feeling a bit squeamish, I guess I'd just remind her that watching a masochist react to pain play can be as sensual as watching someone experiencing the sensations leading up to an orgasm. During a wonderful flogging, my Top may stop when I'm maxed out on pain for a moment, and rub her fingertips gently up and down my tender skin. It's electrifying, and honestly, IMMENSELY erotic for me. When I'm ready for more, she'll begin the cycle again. Yumm, delicious. The Tops take delight in seeing the reactions that they can insight, and how much pleasure it gives.

As I suggested yesterday, another avenue to the adrenaline and endorphins is a maximal workout. I probably got addicted to pain play because of my martial arts days. When I had a great sparring session, I'd be winded, the adrenaline would be blasting, and I'd have not a few bumps and bruises. Many martial artists will liken a really great sparring session to sex. Anyway, my knees are shot, now, and I can't do the martial arts, but I can still go to the gym and work myself REALLY hard. I accomplishes much the same thing, and burns off that need a little.

mikecb

[celticqueens_sub]

I've always liked the sensory aspect of pain. A bit of nails, a pinwheel here and there, etc...

This cycle I have been craving it like crazy. Real pain. I've asked for and enjoyed her nails(and teeth) digging into me hard! In places that would have had me sobbing in the fetal position before. It hurts, but not as much as it would have before. It actually feels quite good...the pain.

Belle is a little freaked out, and I have to say I am too. Any ideas? This isn't just a matter of getting a little more extreme over time. This was like flipping a switch.

My take on this.... I too have developed more need and tolerance of pain. The question is when does a nail being scrapped down your back go from feeling good to being painful, there must be a transition point, from pleasure to pain?

During our sessions CQ builds up the level, for example, when she starts using the cane on me, it stings, but the blows are pretty gentle in reality, later, I can hear the cane moving through the air and the blow is many times more severe, but it feels OK, even good. It pushes me into a place where I can deal with it and I enjoy the nerves being repeatedly stimulated and triggered.

I suspect, that as I know I will not be allowed an orgasm (most of the time) then I am learning to enjoy ALL the other sensations that CQ can give me from gentle caresses to the pain of pegs, canes, whips and even temperature play.

Pleasure and pain will stimulate the production of a whole cocktail of neurotransmitters in your brain and these feel good, some will numb pain, that is how the body deals with excessive trauma allowing people to save themselves, when they have been badly injured, even had limbs severed. It is likely that you are experiencing something along these lines maybe?

CQ has dug her nails into my buttocks and made me bleed during sex, at the time the feeling was absolutely out of this world, real heat and an intensity that sent shockwaves through me of pure ecstacy, We too were a little amazed at the 'damage' she had done to my skin, but even as I came down from the high the pain wasn't too bad. As I type this, if she did it now it would be unbearble agony!! (Go figure...brain not flooded with various neurotransmitters at this time I guess..)

This level of pain has sent me into sub space where I 'go away' to deal with it and get all floaty and very heady indeed, its a seriously BIG rush.

I can't explain the 'switch like' transition you speak of, it was not like that for me and still isn't, I need to build to it so as the brain chemicals start to flow and I can deal with and enjoy what is happening. Don't be freaked out by it... I would try and see it as a positive development, maybe you too are both begining to find other pleasures from each other?

The biggest adjustment we had to make was CQ being able to inflict quite serious amounts of pain and her not be freaked out as it is not really in her nature to be truly sadistic, she does not enjoy seeing me in pain for the sake of her own pleasure. She enjoys seeing me enjoying it and that makes her feel she is doing the right thing, that has been one of our biggest hurdles!

Anyway, that's my view, I hope it helps?

Rgds

CQ's sub

[Celtic Queen]

It can be quite a big change to deal with and you need to give Belle time, space and support to process the changes and her reaction to it.

If you want to read more "official " stuff on it, do a bit of searching on the Psychology Today website http://www.psychologytoday.com/. They have a number of articles on pain, submission and BDSM that deal with the "science" behind what is going on. My view is that you need to deal with this from a postion of information to process it properly and shuck off all the baggage, other people's judgement and all the other shit.

What I have learned is that it IS NOT about the more extreme stuff that gets all the internet focus. There is some horrible extreme stuff out there like knife play, mutilation etc and I reckon that must be a really tiny minority of people into this stuff. Instead, subtlety is much more fun - clothes pegs, ice cubes, warm wax. It's all about varied sensations and you are about to enter a whole new sub kink that requires skill, communication and patience. I'd suggest Jay Wiseman's very good book "SM101" as a starting point (on Amazon) so Belle can indulge you safely.

As a selling point for Belle, it's a fantastic all body work out and stress reliever

[Belle]

I am not totally new to the idea of Jnuts liking pain. We have played with hot wax, pinwheels, ect for some time. He has been scratched to the point of bleeding in the past. What shocked me the past week is the fact that there is no build up to the pain anymore. Like Jnuts said, it is like someone flipped a switch. As soon as I touch him he says "please hurt me". Before it was a once in a while thing. Now he chooses pain over a blow job.
I do think that Mike is on to something, as far as Jnuts is concerned. He has not been going to the gym the last few weeks with the holidays and work making things very hectic. We talked last night about the fact that his body is not able to get those endorphin rushes that they are used to from a hard workout, so maybe it is getting them another way. Or maybe MC has brought a kink to the forefront. Either way, I will work with it to keep him happy

[celticqueens_sub]

I think it is really cool! The 'switch' thing and immediacy of the intensity you get is enviable! Awesome!