Chastity Forums

I have read somewhere (probably by someone on this list) that the chastity really starts when the man wants out.

Well, I think I'm there. I have had this feeling for the last three or four days where I felt that I wanted to be let out and to have an orgasm. This has really intensified since yesterday and is almost unbearable at the moment. I'm seriously considering trying to get some relief while still wearing my jailbird. I'm not going to (yet) but even just thinking about it is making my cock twitch. I thought earlier that I might have an orgasm, or some sort of discharge just by thinking about it and the throbbing inside the cage.

At the same time I am having these feelings, I have this incredible desire for my wife to tell me that there is no way I am going to be let out for an orgasm or any other stimulation.

These multiple, rather contradictory feelings are very confusing. I haven't had a chance to really talk to my wife about it yet, hopefully tonight. I am wondering if the stress of the holidays (more accurately family interactions) is contributing to this and directing me back to some of my old habits. Any advice (or sympathy, or empathy) is greatly appreciated.

-A

Hard to say - Christmas is really stressful for me, and I don't have kids or family going nuts to deal with. I think I got more than enough of that for a lifetime as a kid, and here I am well over 30 years later still having a bad time from the aftershocks. If you're dealing with anything like that, then it would account for all sorts of reactions.

However, what it might be is more along the lines of just how much is enough? I just went for 2 months, and been out for while I've been on vacation (BTW, and completely off-topic, for those non-US English speakers, is 'whilst' and 'while' completely interchangeable?). Towards the end of it, I was hitting some of the same feelings you're expressing.

I know that when I just started this, 4 days seemed like a long time, and pushing past that initial stage was the difference between just playing and really giving myself to keyhldr. Now that might hit anywhere from a few days to a week or so out. But what you're talking about is well past that stage.

Perhaps there's a point beyond which additional time starts to get counterproductive. Or it could just be that every time you reach much more than you've experienced in the past - and this applies to a lot of things - it is difficult?

Atone wrote: These multiple, rather contradictory feelings are very confusing. I haven't had a chance to really talk to my wife about it yet, hopefully tonight. I am wondering if the stress of the holidays (more accurately family interactions) is contributing to this and directing me back to some of my old habits. Any advice (or sympathy, or empathy) is greatly appreciated.

-A

Atone,

For me, masturbation is always a great stress-reliever. If you're wired the same, it's no shock that you're balled up in knots if you're denied a major outlet of stress relief during the most difficult time of the year.

Though I've never been lucky enough to be out of control of my keys for any length of time, I do have my own technique for dealing with an obsessive need to masturbate/burn stress. I've used these when I was on self-imposed stints of chastity to take the edge off. Your mileage may vary, however. Since I'm a masochist, pain play and endorphins do the trick beautifully.

So, some suggestions to get that endorphin rush:
- Go to a gym, and work out until you want to hurl.
- Grab a ruler or short stick-like object, and give yourself a few mighty wallops on the balls.
- Take a handful of Ben Gay and rub it all over your wobbly bits, and feel the stress burn away!

Honest, I've done all three of those at different times. They all work great!

Yes, I'm a kinked bastard,
mikecb

Perhaps there's a point beyond which additional time starts to get counterproductive.

When I wrote my chastity theory, I mused on that--Chastity Nirvana can be kept going for a long period of time but perhaps you do reach a point of diminishing returns. Maybe it's true?

Atone, refresh my memory but didn't you have a release date of "not before" December 19th? Maybe you had that date in your mind (even subconsciously) and you've reached the point where it is time for a break. You've been locked up for a long time, right? 100+ days?

D

mikecb wrote: So, some suggestions to get that endorphin rush:

I don't really have a recollection of using masturbation as a stress reliever but I am sure it did serve that role without me realizing it.

I don't think I could handle a wallop to the balls while I'm locked up but I was considering asking to have the device removed and a then a good administration of the paddle applied to them. A little Icy Hot was definitely considered too. I think I will pass on the going to the gym part though, that doesn't sound too pleasant

thanks for the suggestions.

-A

Dev wrote: When I wrote my chastity theory, I mused on that--Chastity Nirvana can be kept going for a long period of time but perhaps you do reach a point of diminishing returns. Maybe it's true?

Atone, refresh my memory but didn't you have a release date of "not before" December 19th? Maybe you had that date in your mind (even subconsciously) and you've reached the point where it is time for a break. You've been locked up for a long time, right? 100+ days?

D

I have considered your theory of diminishing returns but I am not sure whether it applies here or not. This is kind of strange. Physically, and in a detached way, I have this incredible desire to have an orgasm. Mentally I have no interest in having an orgasm. Or even sex for that matter (although I am sure I could be convinced).

I did have a "not before" date of Dec 13th that we extended to a "not before" date of Jan 13th unless my wife wanted penetration (she wanted that exclusion because apparently she has been desiring it lately). Having that date in my mind is a possibility but I have had a lot of dates in my mind, not sure what would make this one different. It has been a long time and I certainly haven't discounted that as strong factor in this feeling. It would certainly make sense right?

On the one hand I don't have any particular objection to having a break and being allowed an orgasm except - If this is what it is really like to be in "chastity" and not be in control, in other words not on *my* schedule then I don't want to just freak out and give in to it. I want to experience it a little. Not being in control is part of what I wanted. If I just wrestle that control back then what have I accomplished? To add some more complexity, it has taken a long time to get to this point. In a few short seconds I could end up starting over. I'm OK with that, I know it is going to happen some time soon, but I would like to enjoy the moment a little too.

Thank you all for helping me work through this, I really appreciate it. Wish me an uneventful night. Unless it is an eventful night in which case wish me a *very* eventful night

Thanks again,

-A

Atone wrote: At the same time I am having these feelings, I have this incredible desire for my wife to tell me that there is no way I am going to be let out for an orgasm or any other stimulation.

These multiple, rather contradictory feelings are very confusing. -A

A,

Well, I can tell you I feel the same...even during our short cycles, I want out to orgasm, but so want her to clamp down and NOT let me out, and if she does...defintely NOT let me cum. I feel so torn sometimes...pestering her about wanting some playtime, but at the same time actually wanting to be denied and kept locked. Can be a vicious mental cycle, for sure. To help things along I requested that I be denied close to 2 weeks to start the new year. I asked her to be tough about it, too. She seems open to it, but she seems to fear it might just be too long. Guess the word is "communication"...