How to get her to extend time??

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Lockedup84
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Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:00 pm

How to get her to extend time??

Post by Lockedup84 »

Right now me and my wife/KH are on a week too week release which sometime is a ruined one but most of the time isn't. I want to be left frustrated longer but don't want to ask due to I am teeing to get to come up with ideas on her own. She is getting much better at that but I too am getting good at chores and stuff around the house which makes her want to give me a good O. I'm going to drop that back a bit and give a bit of attitude too see what happens and I hve been dropping hits and asking if this weekends release will be ruined or if I am even going to get one. She made a commit last night that saterday after my O I went back to not paying attention to her, which was true, and said she wasn't going to make that mistake again. I hope she means it not sure thought I love being frustrated more than just a sec of pleasure the feeling is...well you know..amazing nothin else like it.

If anyone else has ideas plz let me know I'm not trying to be locked up for years on end (could be interesting) but would like to get too 2-3 weeks in between or a game that may or may not let me out. Thanks ahead of time for your suggestions.

******************************

Well last night, Thursday, it came up she was happy and she was gonna reward me by letting me out all weekend. At first I was like yea ok but then I thought about all this and made a comment about not wanting me to be arse and that she doesn't have to reward me being good, rather she could keep me nice and not let out. This was followed bus "quick" ok we cn leave you locked up for a few more weeks....well becafeful what you ask for

Thank you all for the advise
Last edited by Lockedup84 on Fri Oct 19, 2012 9:35 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Atone
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Re: How to get her to extend time??

Post by Atone »

Lockedup84 wrote:I want to be left frustrated longer but don't want to ask due to I am teeing to get to come up with ideas on her own.
My reaction to the subject was "just ask". If you don't want to ask I would suggest a similar direct approach. Tell her what you want.
Lockedup84 wrote:I'm going to drop that back a bit and give a bit of attitude too see what happens and I hve been dropping hits and asking if this weekends release will be ruined or if I am even going to get one. She made a commit last night that saterday after my O I went back to not paying attention to her, which was true, and said she wasn't going to make that mistake again.
I think that giving a bit of attitude is a mistake. Be sincere and figure out what works for both of you. You can remind her that the attentiveness drops off after an O and that you (and possibly she) would like to minimize that by staying locked up longer.
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Shade
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Re: How to get her to extend time??

Post by Shade »

I see where you are coming from in not wanting to top from the bottom but in any relationship (and power exchange is no different) communication is key. if you don't want to mess up the current chastity schedule "time outs" where you drop the sub/dom roll and discuss what is and isn't working. to be a good sub you have to follow her lead but on the other side of the coin to be a good dom she has to understand your wants and needs.
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Lockedup84
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Re: How to get her to extend time??

Post by Lockedup84 »

I like the whole minimize the lost of attentiveness. I might try that one. I know talking to her is the best just don't want to go that route yet cause she get bombarded sometimes and I'm trying to back off and see where she takes it for a little while.
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Tom Allen
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Re: How to get her to extend time??

Post by Tom Allen »

You could try sitting down and asking her how she's doing with it, and just, you know, talk about how it's affecting you and how *you're* doing with it. And then, you could mention that you'd like her to try leaving you in longer.

Sarah Jameson had written someplace that a keyholder should ask for whatever time her partner would want to be locked up, and then increase it by 50%. That has some appeal, doesn't it?
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celticqueens_sub
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Re: How to get her to extend time??

Post by celticqueens_sub »

Shade wrote:I see where you are coming from in not wanting to top from the bottom but in any relationship (and power exchange is no different) communication is key. if you don't want to mess up the current chastity schedule "time outs" where you drop the sub/dom roll and discuss what is and isn't working. to be a good sub you have to follow her lead but on the other side of the coin to be a good dom she has to understand your wants and needs.
Spot on in my view. Communicate with her, don't paly games and introduce confusion and guess work...
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Blaeu
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Re: How to get her to extend time??

Post by Blaeu »

I agree that communication is the key. However, I also understand that its not always easy for people to be direct. Not matter how good the advice is, if you are not able to put it to use, it does you little good. So, I propose an alternative.

I assume you act differently when "free" and after having an orgasm compared to being locked up, horny, and wanting. Without trying to be deceptive, just stress the difference in your attitude after an orgasm via your actions. If you are not in the mood to do something, tell her you don't feel like it. If you are tired, go rest.

It's hard to type this out without it sounding like deceit, but I just mean "be yourself," however yourself is when not in chastity. Don't force yourself to act the same way if you don't feel like it. The goal here is to show her the difference between the two scenarios and (hopefully) inspire her to want to keep you locked up longer. The minute she feels motivated for her own benefit, they'll be no stopping her. ;)
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poor
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Re: How to get her to extend time??

Post by poor »

Don't sweat it - it'll happen when she is ready and you'll enjoy it more if you haven't guided her towards it. Just be yourself (and possibly the best version of yourself when locked up) and stop trying to play her.

Men think & women feel; in a long term relationship they read us far better than we realise. They see through us so easily that it is almost laughable.
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kept4her
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Re: How to get her to extend time??

Post by kept4her »

Like most have already said. Communication. Sometimes it is hard to tell her that you want to refrain from having a release since that is against all the physics related to a man. LOL. If you don't want to just come out and ask her, and a bit nervous about it, you can joke "lets flip a coin, heads I get out, tails I stay in" and she might warm up to the idea you don't mind staying in.

I would always suggest just sitting down and talking but I also understand it is hard to just "sit down and talk" talking with my wife about it is like pulling teeth at times.
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gummicouple
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Re: How to get her to extend time??

Post by gummicouple »

From a Woman's perspective, I would suggest some open communication about your needs and desires. We aren't mind readers, well not all the time anyway, and she might interpret your actions differently that you are hoping. Once you have discussed it, let her go at her own pace and don't pester her about it. She probably has a lot on her mind.

~Alex
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