As I have mentioned in the past, I think people have a hard time figuring out just what you are saying or who you are responding to. I would suggest just sticking to one observation or one question at a time. You don't have to try to include everything in one post, it just confuses people (at least it does me).
If you want a thread starter I would love to hear how things are working out in your 'Curve'.
-A
I admit it could be me. I'm not being as clear as I could be and tend to comment off the cuff rather then sit down and be as specific as I should (And actually like that from others btw)
The Curve. Fit wise its been a real problem. The scrotum area started getting "sawed" into which made me really think hard how much I wanted to do this. I should mention that I had had a conversation with my wife about doing this and that if it sounded like a good idea we could give it a roll. She was to say the least torn. She thought it sounded "hot" but told me that honestly the problem would be that she was pretty sure I would end up being ignored. A lot.... I've seen a couple posts by Keyholders who admitted this was what happened and it was good that the men they locked were so into this that they didn't mind.
So.... I had a serious think on it. Is it kinky and exciting enough to go though a lot of being ignored and pile on lots of work staying clean, sanding down devices buying new ones etc? Chastity and denial are not really high on my list of things that I want in and of themselves. I'm willing to do them if it helps our relationship but with the mechanical issue? For now I've decided to focus on the specific things that make or don't make our relationship work. The page by Dr. Tanya Larisse on using Chastity to make the ideal husband at least gave me some specific ideas of things to change that have improved things. The Kept for him site also has a number of specific points that have given me lots of food for thought. So as weird as this sounds I'm taking the behavior stuff from the mix and leaving the mechanical stuff on the nightstand.
Jimi123 wrote: So as weird as this sounds I'm taking the behavior stuff from the mix and leaving the mechanical stuff on the nightstand.
I think this is a great approach. If I wasn't ready for the behavioral changes from work we have been doing to improve our relationship the physical device would not have changed anything. Wearing the device has helped further improve our relationship but it is not the cause of the improvement. We had been seeing a 'relationship' therapist for years (over 3) when we started with chastity. None of the benefits of chastity would have been possible without the foundation that was set by that work.
Have the things that you have been focusing on to make your relationship work been helping?
And, it is never good when your scrotum is getting sawed into.
Its ended up being pretty simple stuff. I think communicating (As lame as that may sound) is the essential piece thats been missing.
Sex has been one of the issues (Of course) We had the idea to put sex aside for a while and focus on the non sexual aspects. MC seemed like an interesting way to do that but.... Sex is important and really what we have learned is that we both connect with sex. Without it we just "conflict." I think chastity, tease and denial etc are add too much complications for us. And truth be told we are treading water and trying not to crash and burn.
Anyway, the communications is better! The "plan" that some of the more vanilla MC sites talk about helped as well. Has he stopped being romantic? Does he pay attention to your needs etc are always good things to pay attention to. Anyway, thanks for not going nuts listening to my inane comments. I know at times they have been less then stellar.
Yes, things really are better. Its been important to really talk and follow up. When you said this you meant what???
I think part of the issue that really wasn't a good aspect was that the kind that really seems to work just takes too much focus (for her - its just not her way) and she would (MUCH) rather I just refocus. Which btw seems to be the main vanilla aspect of MC that was what interested me.
The whole "the ideal husband / bf" scenario. I think some of the day to day issues of MC are less spelled out (staying clean, the true change in sexual dynamics etc) any anyway its if nothing else new and interesting.
I thought it would be of value to put a final chapter to my thread (Sorry user name is 1234 not 123 *Lost old password files)
I did the "Ideal" husband stuff that I found on the page by Dr. Tanya Larisse and Kept for Her and and offered to give the curve a try. She was keen on the kinky factor of the curve (She said) and as noted warned me that unlocking me would probably be rare or forgotten. Sorry - I know long term / perma lockup is a kink many of you desire but its not why I was interested in this. So rather then figure out how to stuff myself into the curve I really started doing the Ideal Husband stuff she broke down and told me she was having an affair (For quite some time) so her desire to do male chastity wasn't about kink or being a better husband.
Its been a lot of couples therapy and hard work. The affair has been over long ago. We are intimate often and thats working for us.
The "Ideal Husband" wishes you all luck and hopefully no one else has the same experience. It really sucked.
which made me really think hard how much I wanted to do this. I should mention that I had had a conversation with my wife about doing this and that if it sounded like a good idea we could give it a roll. She was to say the least torn. She thought it sounded "hot" but told me that honestly the problem would be that she was pretty sure I would end up being ignored. A lot.... I've seen a couple posts by Keyholders who admitted this was what happened and it was good that the men they locked were so into this that they didn't mind.
