How many vacation days should he have?

[davidphd1866]

I know this is not an original idea, but I can't help but to ask everyone--particularly the keyholders in our group.

It has been fairly well established that men experience an "ejaculatory hangover" of about two weeks in duration. During that time, he is simply not at his best when it comes to his desire and devotions. (see Reuinting.info)

For how much of the year do you think it is "OK" for your spouse not to be at his best?

Consider that a monthly ejaculation = 12 times per year. And 12 times 14 days = about 24 weeks, or almost half a year when your chaste guy is not at his best.

Daily = Never at his best
Weekly = Never at his best
Monthly = Not at his best for half a year
Quarterly = Not at his best for two full months
Yearly = Not at his best for two weeks
Longer?
Never? = always at his best

David

[Celtic Queen]

Mmm, I think you are asking an odd question... Can you seriously blame ALL poor behaviour on orgasm? Is it that simple to isolate moods and behaviours?

Surely you poor old Y chromosome types are a bit more complex than that?

[mikecb]

This question isn't necessarily as far-fetched as it sounds. I do know one couple which is trying to live in a D/s relationship, but when he orgasms, he loses all submissive feelings for 1-2 weeks. There are times when he wonders, out loud, if he should just not orgasm again, because he thinks he's a better submissive. In their case, I think submission is more important to him than chastity play.

I guess the importance of this phenomenon comes down to two main points.

First, are you trying to live in a D/s relationship in which this post-orgasm sub-drop could be a problem. Does your partner think you are? (See my recent blog on THIS topic! lol) Second, do you experience this kind of sub drop in the first place? I don't think it's the same for all men. You may not even suffer the problem!

David, knowing of your desire to do a one-year stint of orgasm denial, this seems like a leading question, trying to justify your desire for long term orgasm denial. It is what it is. You don't need an excuse!

I think the sub-drop-after-orgasm phenomenon is real for some men, but I don't think it should be the principal point of concern when choosing durations of orgasm denial.

mikecb

[thumper]

I think the sub-drop-after-orgasm phenomenon is real for some men...

It certainly is for me.

[davidphd1866]

Mike, I genuinely want to know what others think on this matter.

Of course, MY interest is in a long-term stint. But given this perspective of the "hangover", do women keyholders (or males for that matter) realize just how much ejaculations take away from their other joys?

My motivation for asking the question is this different context. Sometimes when you put a number to something it gives a different perspective.

For example, "a dollar a day" doesn't sound like much.....until you keep adding that dollar and compounding interest... one dollar a day for thirty years invested at 10% comes out to $68,000.

So a keyholder might not realize just how much she is losing by letting her man cum.

Is it really just a few shots of semen? Therefore, I'd really like for keyholders to think about this. How many days of their guys "not at their best" do they wish to tolerate?

Thanks.

David

[Dev]

If you want to take a "tit for tat" perspective, you could argue that a woman has ~5 lousy days/month due to PMS and menstruating, which works out to 60 days/year or more than 8 weeks (2 months! yikes!). So that would work out to a quarterly release.

On the other hand, if you remember my theoretical model (DLMC), the first stage was "getting to headspace." Theoretically, if a guy has experienced "chastity nirvana" several (many) times, then there is the potential for him to want to get out of headspace and to nirvana because, presumably, nirvana feels better. This is informing my latest thinking of locking Ab right back up after an orgasm (or at least trying to). I sort of wonder if the post-orgasm hangover/let down is exacerbated by an extended period out of the device? That's my working hypothesis right now.

D

[Atone]

The sub-drop-after-orgasm phenomenon is definitely real for me. My wife noticed it without me even needing to point it out to her. She doesn't like it and that has really encouraged her in our chastity relationship.

The way we have looked at it though is really more from the point of view of how often does she want to experience that. The duration of the transition isn't as significant as how often it happens. We don't really have enough experience to have a definite plan but it looks like every 3 to 4 months is where we will end up.

-A

[davidphd1866]

Dev,

Thanks for another good perspective that you point out. A woman spends significant time "not at her best" (and most of the male readers would agree with me on that!) 5 X 12 = 60 or two months. My guess would be that if males had the choice, ladies would have fewer of these "bad days". Alas, there isn't much that can be done about that......now chastity and ejaculation....well, looks like the solution is at hand!

David

[likes2blocked]

The amount of the let down seems proportional to the length of time out. Since this summer, I went a month with 2 days out, 6 weeks with a week out, and am now locked for a bit over 7 weeks with no real idea when keyhldr might let me out. The short time with only a couple of orgasms didn't seem to slow me down much - after a couple days back in, I was back to really hot. After a week out, it took over a week to get back into it, was grumpy, etc.

At the moment, I'm really wanting out - this new territory, never gone this long before. As Dev said, the JB went on 5 weeks and 2 days ago, hasn't been off since. To comment on another thread, the open design means cleaning just isn't an issue - a bit of soap in the shower, and it is nice and clean.

[Atone]

The amount of the let down seems proportional to the length of time out.

The short time with only a couple of orgasms didn't seem to slow me down much - after a couple days back in, I was back to really hot. After a week out, it took over a week to get back into it, was grumpy, etc.

I think my wife might have figured this out, or at least suspects it. She has told me that my next release for an orgasm will consist of me being let out for an orgasm (just one) and then locked right back up for another very long stint. I don't know what is hotter, what she is going to do, or the fact that it was her idea. Probably that it was her idea.

-A