Could I just be having my (male) period?

[davidphd1866]

Dear CQ,

I don't think I did. However, after re-reading the reference I realize that I did not make it clear. My apologies. I would similarly disagree with the way I wrote that passage.

Rest assured, I do NOT confuse the UK with England. The Scots, The Welsh and the Northern Irish would never forgive me if I did.....(my father's parents were from Southern Ireland and my mother's parents were from near Belfast.)

That said, you Brits sure are good at your chastity!

Thanks for keeping me on my toes.

David

[Celtic Queen]

No problem, us aboriginals need to keep shouting up for ourselves :0)

I had a think about the post after firing off last night and actually, I do think you can make a distinction here between the various nationalities that make up the UK. The English, rather famously, are usually said to be more reserved whereas the celtic nations are a bit more, well, earthy and direct in many regards. I'd also say that there is a greater sense of class distinction for the English. So why is this relevant?

My observation is that where there is sexual repression, there is a backlash (pun intended) and an underground kink movement- operating almost as a pressure valve. There is plentiful evidence that the Victorians, famous for their repressive attitude to anything remotely sexual were up to all manner of stuff, as evidenced by an abundance of very risque porn from the era. The class distinctions are also a regular feature of kink given the very clear nature of societal power balance - the maid, the stable boy, the Squire etc. Extend this further to pubescent boys being spanked by their Governess and you can clearly see how the English can be viewed as the originators of lots of old fashioned classical fantasies.

The Celts were too busy scrapping amongst themselves with big swords to get up to any of this

If you can get the film in the US, Julie Walters starred in the rather excellent "Personal Services", a story based on the UK society madam Cynthia Payne in the 80s. What comes across is the rather kinky nature of the upper classes - the major who boasted about flying dozens of missions above Germany dressed in bra and panties, Judges dressing up as school boys etc. It's a seriously funny film - if you "get" the Brit humour.

[Jimi123]

Humm... Well maybe your reading this reply I sent and thinking it was all about cucking and while that was part of it the majority of my intent was to agree that female cycles and "sex" do seem to swing on that 28 day cycle.

Ok, regarding the one rule of this forum (don't be a dick) I don't think I've painted everyone with the same brush. When Belle made her comment I think I made a comment about David's scheme being long term chastity with no intercourse and other forms. *And how her scheme was more my cup of tea. And if I can go back over my original point about this forum there are a wide variety of ways to do this and I don't think the vast majority of folks who found this forum would say "Its only intended to be done one way" So - can you p l e a s e stop accusing me of things I'm not doing?

Ok?

As to the one person you know who is happy being cuckolded. Ok, here is where I probably cross the (Don't be a dick) like but... Does that include you and Ab? I know how specific you have been about how this is not for you and maybe thats not your current cup of tea but what about your blog
http://devotedlvr.wordpress.com/2010/10 ... other-man/
doesn't that count? It sounds like a perfect example to me but as you keep suggesting maybe I'm painting you with that paint brush???

I was reading the thread about what turns on your happy buttons for chastity. While this is probably a very good idea I was kind of put off by most of them. Maybe this is just TOO vanilla???
Exploring female pleasure *Great!
Being a better partner in non sexual ways *Great
Changing the balance (Less male orgasm - more female orgasm) *Great
Using a Device to do that *Maybe Great?? and that is due in part to it being practical (fit) and of value to the relationship.

Where does any of this make what we are doing make us chastity bigots or cross the line? I'm maybe more open minded (Then you think) to what others want to do. I'm not uptight with people who want to dress up in women's lingerie or have gender issue (Even tho thats not my bag) and I don't care if someone else wants to do long term denial, female lead, leather etc but I reserve the right to have an opinion on what "I" do and if others think thats being narrow minded or whatever? Hey I'm sorry about that... The be careful what you ask for aspect of this is... an issue thats not spoken about enough. Why not at least "try" to have your cake and eat some of it too???

Hi Jimi, welcome back, good to see you...

We've been down this path before but whatever, let me repeat myself....you have a habit of reading a whole lot of stuff and then sort of generally applying that "stuff" to whatever audience you are talking to, no matter if it is relevant or not. For example, you have read--somewhere--that couples who begin to explore/experience chastity will (inevitably) get into cuckolding. It's an ipso facto outcome. That's what you think.

Meanwhile, here at the Chastity Forums, I know of exactly one guy--one, out of how many members--who is in a cuckold relationship with his wife (and seems to be happy with it, and enjoying it, etc., but he doesn't write about it here, that is all posted only at his blog). Meanwhile, all the rest of us--at least the folks who post--are happily figuring out chastity in a monogamous context.

I have no problem with the cucking couples. If that's what they want to do, great, have fun. I wish them all sorts of happiness and enjoyment. But me--not going there. Not at this stage of my life. Like I have said elsewhere, I am too old and don't have the energy. I am focusing on something different. But that's ME. That's MY experience. Other folks here--may have a totally different take on their chastity and their lives.

My question to YOU is...why do YOU insist on painting us all with the same brush, especially when we have such a variety of people here sharing their real-life experiences? Why do YOU insist on working toward the least common denominator which, for most people here, is not least, nor common.

My 2 cents.

D

[Jimi123]

I really am getting tired of being accused of this - so.... while there is no "tone" in most text so I appreciate your comment but by the same token I didn't intend to say your being "stupid" or anything of the sort. I made an observation based on what I thought you were saying. The tone I thought I was getting was that you were worried about this sudden male interest from other guys. Maybe it would have been better to say "If your worried about this you should talk it out?" or "If you want to encourage this then talk it out / I think what your doing sets that up more easily"

ok?

Well said Dev. I admit I grow tired of the thinly veiled "to each his own, but I think you are stupid" comments.

And funny how men consider the onset of menses as "starting your period". Might that not be better called the ending of a period? Jimi, I think you missed the point I made about my wife's ovulation and not the "start of her period". Menstrual cycles, by defintion, have no beginning and end. My observation was simply that my horniness has coincided with my wife's ovulation.

And, like many in this group, my wife and I have MORE intimate encounters after beginning a chastity program than we did before. I believe she'd be the first to sing the praises. I specifically stated in my orignal post that I felt nothing "wrong" was going on. Only that there was an odd confluence of events.

I still believe that there may be a connection amongst couples regarding her cycle and his.

David

[Dev]

As to the one person you know who is happy being cuckolded. Ok, here is where I probably cross the (Don't be a dick) like but... Does that include you and Ab? I know how specific you have been about how this is not for you and maybe thats not your current cup of tea but what about your blog
http://devotedlvr.wordpress.com/2010/10 ... other-man/
doesn't that count? It sounds like a perfect example to me but as you keep suggesting maybe I'm painting you with that paint brush???

As I note in the blog, this was an experience that happened 12 years ago. At the time, the word "cuckold" wasn't even in my vocabulary. But reflecting on it afterwards, it had some "earmarks" of a cuckold-type experience, ie, my husband knew what might occur (and it did); he was okay with that and in fact, wanted me to be happy and guilt-free about the experience (I was); it was not a secret, clandestine love affair.

On the other hand, it was a one-time experience, not an ongoing relationship. I didn't get together with Zack because my husband was chaste and I needed to experience intercourse or because he had a puny little dick and I needed to be serviced by a bull (some of the reasons I read for why couples opt for cuckolding).

In many ways, it was a watershed experience for both Ab and I. I won't go into all the reasons here but suffice to say, it was good for us in ways I never expected. It rekindled a spark for us which had sort of died down after 2 decades of marriage and 1 decade of childrearing. It also taught us that our marriage was strong and secure and we had enough confidence, love, and belief in each other that me being intimate with another man was not a threat. Learning that, however, did not give me the wish or desire to continue with finding other men and having sex with them. Thus I hold it in my mind as a very special experience--one that I do not wish to repeat because it probably wouldn't be as "good" or "right" -- if you know what I mean.

D

[Atone]

Jimi,

As I have mentioned in the past, I think people have a hard time figuring out just what you are saying or who you are responding to. I would suggest just sticking to one observation or one question at a time. You don't have to try to include everything in one post, it just confuses people (at least it does me).

If you want a thread starter I would love to hear how things are working out in your 'Curve'.

-A

[likes2blocked]

As I note in the blog, this was an experience that happened 12 years ago. At the time, the word "cuckold" wasn't even in my vocabulary. But reflecting on it afterwards, it had some "earmarks" of a cuckold-type experience, ie, my husband knew what might occur (and it did); he was okay with that and in fact, wanted me to be happy and guilt-free about the experience (I was); it was not a secret, clandestine love affair.

To use another word that was possibly not in your vocabulary at the time, that's really more of a polyamory/open marriage approach - everyone was informed, and consented. To me, cuckolding, especially as used in chastity circles, is really a form of humiliation. Not my kink, but some people like it. The classic definition really doesn't take into account any of the broader, consensual arrangements.

I do really have to wonder why Jimi has such a level of fascination/anxiety around this. We keep telling him that it isn't any sort of inevitable outcome, and he keeps coming back to it, over and over. Maybe it is a very repressed fantasy? Or he's just insecure about his relationship with his wife?

I believe that the truth is that most women have far less need for penetrative sex than we men would like to think, and even worse, if they do want it, something the exact size desired can be purchased, and positioned such that it hits exactly the right spots, which an actual man is very unlikely to do. And if she does want a nice fucking from her man, all she has to do is let him out until she's had her needs met. At least how we do things, this isn't at all about denying her anything at all - it's about making sure my focus is on her, and we're having fun.

[Jimi123]

Ok, I'll start a new thread. Thanks for the reply.

[poor]

We're heading for a storm.

In 3 days time I'll hit day 21 which is my grumpy peak (before I start leaking) and the point at which I have to be careful how I speak to co-workers and Chatelaine will go postal- sorry, pre-menstrual.

Fortunately it's also the end of the month so we can indulge ourselves.

[davidphd1866]

I am convinced now more than ever that if a man is held chaste and doesn't "distort" his natural cycles artificially, he DOES have a monthly period.

Analogous to the female cycle, I feel, there is a tremendous urge that occurs about once a month. If that urge is not satisfied or acted upon, it subsides and I am good for about another month.

Heck, my wife even joked about it once when I said I was ready to end a chastity cycle. She said, "oh, you are just having your period, wait a few days and the feelings will go away."

David